Aley

So I feel like this poem, for how it is set up, is missing the stream of consciousness. Most of the poems that are not in stanzas are stream of ...

So this last line really confuses me. It seems very disconnected from the poem itself. ^.- "in rainy may" - May is a proper noun, it needs capitals. So overall, ...

This seems more like an inevitable list of things that people need to know before they go out into the world for you instead of a poem. You could write ...

I feel like this poem is at war with itself. First, you have a person wishing they could know all of the secrets, and then they do? Why didn't they ...

"I don't fear vampires, nor any other creatures, how much I fear- your trigonometry! I am so sorry that I have, Such a grudge against you, But I’m not at ...

So overall, Thor, this poem seems like someone's diving down below the sea without an oxygen tank, and then suddenly at the end, they have their tank of oxygen after ...

This poem seems more like a short story, a really really odd short story, but captivating because I have to wonder how it ended up like this. I think the ...

Yeah, not digging the second person. I don't have a brother, I don't do these things, I don't even know why I would. It feels very juvenile to me in ...

While I can accept that the rhetoric question is supposed to make us ponder our response, I don't often like it when poetry poses a question for us to ponder ...

"The leader of the young hunting party, a slender boy of seventeen with the name of Dracah, glanced back at the boy with a sneer of disdain across his lips. ...

This is an interesting way to describe love. I feel like it should be a poem instead of a short story though, and thus whittled down to something closer to ...

First thought, yeah, you shouldn't have taken the bait buddy and I'm not really sure why I should care that you are gullible. You live in this land, and you ...

Nice use of language. It is really unique how you used left and right to signify political parties to begin with, but I would flip stanzas two and one in ...

This poem has no periods. That really bothers me. It's like someone just stole them all. I really like periods. They tell me, take a breath, that was a complete ...

THREE FOR THREE!~ Alright, so in this one I'm going to focus on the lyrical aspect of the poem. The pace is awkward to try to sing. I tried. It ...