The Shadow of Justice.

by methrirr123
  • April 5, 2013
  • Poetry
Beasts. Vile, cruel, disgusting beasts, all of you.
Who's game it is to toy, to torture,
to torment and to break.
The little boy that cowers beneath you,
is naught but one of your many playthings.

Like a snake that strikes many times,
you're venom seeps, and festers there,
each wound fresh and new, never healing,
Not as long as you can help it.
And you watch remorselessly as the wounds fester,
infected by your merciless games.

And so, your victims grow against you,
banding up to meet your wrath,
head on with wrath, their heads held high,
and suddenly you are the victim,
and they have no mercy.

Such is the way of things.
Vengeance, Justice,
For no man or woman escapes the lash,
the grudging shadow that looms,
There and everywhere,
to find them, to deal it's justice.

You won't know how.
You won't know when.
You won't know where.
You might even pretend not to know why.
That's why, when it comes,
it will often remind you just who you are,
before jugement is passed.
Comments & reviews · 3
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Deanie
Review
Deanie wrote a review · Sun May 26, 2013 8:08 pm

Hey there,

This is a good poem. It has good imagery in there, and the meaning is plain for us to see. It's not too simple. It's not too complicated. Perfect. But I think you tried to give the reader a bit of a happy feel at the end with the last stanza. I thought that was a bit too much. In my opinion I would leave out the last stanza altogether. It was a bit too repetitive of my liking. But it's a good poem, and I liked it.

Enjoyable read. Keep it up ^^

Deanie x

User avatar
ERZA
Review
ERZA wrote a review · Sun May 26, 2013 7:12 am

Ok this is a bit of an action (?) Typr of poem and honestly I have never read such types of poems. But I will try my best to review this! Ok so here goes..

This is bit long I think..
I mean all this could be just expressed in a few right words! Here yiu have used some simple words that makes this look direct and to the point..
It has got no flow at all...also if you would have written it with some more less simple words then maybe it would have looked as classy and visual and sophisticated as its supposed to be(?) but anyways overall its a fair sort of a poem...like it ciuld be worked on a bit..imprivised a bit and also this simply does not offer much visual like the picture that one gets in their mind while reading this poem is all blurry..it has a central theme.and color so from that point of view its ok. Work on it I am sure the results will be great.:-)

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Aley
Review
Aley wrote a review · Sun Apr 28, 2013 4:51 am

So overall, Thor, this poem seems like someone's diving down below the sea without an oxygen tank, and then suddenly at the end, they have their tank of oxygen after all because they actually take a breath.

Personally, due to the context of the poem, I would rather we cut them off from air all together. I would suggest leaving the poem with "Such is the way of things." Done. Not only can we really figure out the rest of the stuff at the end through what you've already written, but the rest of it is kind of in this, telling not showing voice instead of the showing that you have so nicely at the top.

However, there are some problems with your picture. First off, festering takes time, so every wound cannot be new in order for wounds to fester. If you just take out the new part, using something like open, exposed, that type of thing, then you will have a better match for the picture you're creating. Also, I would strongly suggest taking out "Not as long as you can help it," because that line is really overused. Put in something like "Not as long as you pry the skin apart," or some other gorse imagery. That will really help improve the poem.

-Aley



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