*This fanfic is underneath my folder titled “Shadow House fanfics”. This is based off the scholastic book series by Dan Poblocki called “Shadow House”. It’s an AU where one of the characters, Poppy, is an adult. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs<33[2]”. Enjoy!*
Poppy, heeding the request of Connie, walked up to the man who had just appeared.
“Are you new here?” Poppy asked. Oftentimes, she didn’t know yet what to say, but experience as an actress let the words roll effortlessly off her tongue. They came without true thought, only from years of having to interact with others.
The man looked up at Poppy. A slight blush came on his face from nervousness.
“N-n-no. I-I-I work here. I-I-I just w-w-wanted t-t-to s-s-see you p-p-perform, P-P-Poppy.”
He shuffled his feet, as though he was pondering what to say. Poppy waited patiently, for she was once the unsure one.
She still was, but she was able to hide it better as an adult than she ever did growing up.
“Do you want to go out with me?” The man blurted out.
He wanted to get the words out, it was stuck in his throat. Poppy understood perfectly well.
“Yes.” Poppy said earnestly.
“Really?” The man asked.
“Yes! Now, what is your name?” Poppy asked.
“Oh yes, my name! My apologies, it’s Valerian.” Valerian said, scratching the back of his neck.
“A lovely name.” Poppy said.
He seemed like such a sweet man and it had been awhile since she had talked to new people.
Even if he tried to hurt her, which she doubted, she always had her pink messenger back to help.
Everything would be okay.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,024 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
I like the empathy that Poppy displays with this:
That is a really nice character note and also ties back into her being an actress and using that profession to mask/get over her own shyness!
I also find a bit funny how "the man just appeared" probably means that he has walked up to her or something, but I want to imagine him literally just appearing out of nowhere via magic and everyone is just chill with it!
Hm I do wonder what Connie said to make Poppy agree to a date. It feels very casual and spur of the moment tho, so maybe she's just that kinda person
Connie is a ghost who sort of leads Poppy into doing things. She%u2019s not evil and she does not talk.
Hello, Vamp! This will be a relatively short review (given the short nature of this chapter), so I'll just get right into it!
I haven't read Connie's story before, so forgive me if I seem a bit lost! The beginning was quite nice-- and even though I'm not sure who Connie or Poppy are-- but you gave us some background.
Including these key details really helps me (the reader) figure out what's going out while not needing to go back and refresh my memory + catch up on previous parts. We understand that Poppy is an actress and that she knows how to talk to people!
This is adorable; the exact reaction I'd imagine a man would have if he met an actress that he had a crush on XD Wonderful work here, I could almost hear Valerian's voice through the screen!
I do have some suggestions, and you can choose whether to consider them or not! My first suggestion is to add this onto a previous part, being as it's not very long. I don't think it would've made much of a difference if you posted it along with the previous part, that way you get better and more effective reviews! There isn't really much to review here.
Secondly, I think it's a bit... weird that Poppy automatically agrees to go out with this strange man she just met. She agreed to go out on a date with him before even knowing his name, which is a bit concerning and a tad unrealistic XD I'd consider slowing the pace down a bit, as this feels super rushed!
Other than that, I don't have any other comments! I hope you have a wonderful rest of your night/day! <3
With Love, Ley <3
So glad you enjoyed! These characters are from Dan Poblocki%u2019s book series %u201CShadow House%u201D where they are all originally twelve years old. This is an AU where they are older. Connie%u2019s story is sort of revealed through the mobile game %u201CShadow House%u201D and in the books, but I haven%u2019t tried my hand at writing it.
I%u2019ll be sure to add more, though.
This fanfic is connected to this one:
Connie Caldwell’s request