*This fanfic under my folder titled “Shadow House fanfics”. Gacha Club character designs are under this forum: https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic/117842-my-character-designs-lt-33-3?start=120. Valerian is my OC and Poppy is a character in the actual book series written by Dan Poblocki called “Shadow House” that this is based off of. Enjoy!*
Valerian never thought that he would return to Larkspur, out of all places, but he’d rather not delay whatever it was that awaited them.
Both he and Poppy had walked inside of the mansion, up the stairs. The steps creaked under his booted feet, but nothing too creepy had happened.
Which was why he was on high alert, watching every shadow to see if it moved, if it spoke back. Because if anything, they weren’t alone. Nobody was ever alone at Larkspur.
He just had to take one more step-
Valerian almost slipped into a dark, gaping void. He stuck his arm out before Poppy could fall too.
The stairs had ended off there and then, across from them, was a door. There was no way to get to that door except for…
“Hold onto me. I’ll fly you over there.”
Poppy turned around to look at him, her blue eyes wide and uncertain. He knew that feeling. Larkspur always changed and one wrong move could have you lost forever.
But still, she took his extended hand, because there was never a better choice and he spread his wings off to a door he wasn’t sure they’d open.
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Like, more descriptions, tying his emotional state into what he notices of his surroundings etc. The way you write it is straightforward but not very immersive 😊I think that is also one of the stories you have that I love to follow. Even if Valerian is a bit creepy when he interacts with Poppy.
Also the summary makes me think that he might have the supernatural ability to fly bc he went to Larkspur (anything is possible right?)
I feel like I could use some more explanation here:
“Nobody was ever alone at Larkspur.” Creeeeepy!!!
Ok wait he can fly?? Oh my, did you mention that before and I just forgot? The way Poppy reacts makes me think that !!!! RIGHT WINGS aaah I am so sorry!
But hey, you could throw in a reminder of their appearance now and then XD
#TrustTheEgg
Hey there! Lim here with a short review.
I think the main thing that stands out in this scene is Valerian's protectiveness. The way he stops Poppy from falling and then also offers to fly them over the stairs make him seem competent. He also comes across as being more alert and vigilant than Poppy is, but I wonder if that's just cause this part is from his perspective (so we don't see what Poppy notices).
I read 'All roads lead to Larkspur' as well to get more context for this very short piece. I'm guessing this set of stories will focus on the relationship between Poppy and Valerian, since that is what Poppy thinks about in that story? Here it seems like they trust each other and Valerian almost seems older or more 'senior' in terms of surviving than Poppy.
It's a bit difficult to give feedback when pieces are so short, but I think it would be good to have a sense of what the characters are looking for inside Larkspur. In the last chapter, Valerian implies they'll have to solve *something* in order to get out, so it would be nice to see his thought process on that. Does he think there is something wrong upstairs and that's why they're going there?
Hope this helps!
-Lim