*This fanfic is underneath my folder titled “Shadow House fanfics”. The Shadow House I’m talking about is a book series written by Dan Poblocki. I highly recommend! This is about one of the main characters’ parents, since they’re not really focused on in the stories. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs<33”. Enjoy!*
“Stop!” Delaney sobbed. She couldn’t take it anymore.
The music stopped, as if the boys were listening.
But they were, of course. Music was the language that she never understood.
In that moment, Delaney could feel and see Shane’s sadness.
Shane died. He and his friends went to Larkspur house and were killed by a monster. He never came back because he was trapped.
Her heart went cold when she could see what happened to Marcus.
Marcus died. He sacrificed himself for his friends.
She didn’t send him to a music academy.
She sent him to Hell.
Secretly though, Delaney wanted Marcus to never return. She couldn’t understand him, so she wanted him to go away. She thought that he would be better among people like him, among people who could understand him.
But Marcus thought that she hated him. That she wanted him dead. That she didn’t love him.
Marcus’ body was gone, but his ghost was there. Shane was there too.
“I’m sorry, boys. I’m sorry that I never tried to understand. I…”
What else was she supposed to say?
Shane understood her sincerity and honesty the way siblings have come to understand their own. He didn’t forgive her, but he still loved her. He knew her all his life, before she shut herself from the world. He saw her when she was carefree and innocent.
But Marcus? Marcus had the aching pain that only a lost son could have. He tried so hard to reach out to her, to be loved. He didn’twant to just play his music for the world. He wanted so desperately for his family to understand it. He was never good with words. Music was his only way of communication.
And as a mother, she failed him.
Delaney was so wrapped up in losing Shane that she didn’t even listen to Marcus.
“Marcus…I failed you. I didn’t show you the love that you deserved. I always loved you. I never hated you once in my life. You were brilliant and beautiful, just…just like your Uncle Shane. And it pained me to see him in you. I sent you away without a second thought. I thought that if you were around people who were like you, you would get the love that I didn’t give you.”
“Now I realize how wrong I was. No amount of apologies will ever make up for what I did. I just wanted you to know that it was never, ever your fault.”
There was silence. No music. Shane had left, she could sense it. It was just her and Marcus.
Then, a low, calming cello melody. It was if he were saying that he understood, that he too loved her.
Delaney smiled.
Her little musical genius.
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Canary word: Present
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125,024 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
Hiiiii!! I know, I know, you missed me yet again. BUT DON'T WORRY I JAVE RETURNED MWAHAHHA. It's not that simple to get rid of me. You thought it was but it really isn't mwahahaha! You should try to understand at this point that I am a horrible review writer but you know what? That's okay, no one is perfect. SOOO. Lemme see if I can use my magical fingers to type up something pretty decent! Onto the review!!!!!!!!
So, I have never read shadow house so I don't really understand what is going on in this but that's fine. I really just wanted to say that I really love your hook and your last line. They really really really caught my attention!!!! That's all! Have a wonderful day!!!!!
Keep up the good work!!! Stay amazing!!!!!!!!!!
Love,
The coolest person,
Hop
Lol thanks for the review! ^v^
Hiya, Lim here with a review!
I haven’t read Shadow House, but I felt I could sympathise with Delaney when I was reading this. It does feel like she’s recognised her mistakes, especially with the line “it was never, ever your fault”. It seems that Delaney’s own behaviour has deeper roots, with maybe an implicit backstory here:
I think Shane is able to forgive her more because he’s an adult and also he has more context for why she acts the way she does?
I like the idea that Delaney is being haunted by music, rather than corporeal ghosts. Based on this story, it seems like music was a point of tension between her and her family, so having that be the way the dead appear to her makes narrative sense.
When I read this the first time, I didn’t quite feel the emotional impact. As an opening, there’s not a huge deal of context, so it only really made sense to me when I’d re-read the story. While the conciseness of the story can be a strength, it might help to give a bit more information and description at the beginning?
I’d imagined this story to take place in Delaney’s house, and I’d pictured it to be a sort of very suburban, middle class American type house: fairly large and uncluttered, with white and beige walls and floor. Is that accurate to how it is in the book? Or how you pictured it when you were writing this? There’s no descriptions of the location Delaney is in in the fanfiction, but I feel like I made some assumptions and inferences of my own based on the characters’ names and the thought that Delaney was trying to send Marcus to music school.
I like how you captured the key moment of Delaney’s realising her mistakes. I get the sense from the story that Shane and Marcus had been haunting her for a while and this is just the part where she realises and perhaps accepts what had happened because of her actions. For a short story, it makes sense to focus on this point.
Overall, I like the idea of exploring characters who don’t get a lot of focus in their original books. I looked up ‘Shadow House’ and it looks like the author mainly writes middle grade fiction? Usually, parents don’t get a lot of focus in those! I think you’ve shown Delaney’s thoughts and feelings pretty well in this short piece. My main suggestions if you’re planning to revise this or write similar works in the future are to give a bit more context in the introduction and perhaps describe the setting here and there, so we can see/feel/hear what the character is seeing, etc. 🙂
Hope this helps!
-Lim
Glad you enjoyed! Yeah, it does take place in a middle class suburban house, but I guess I should make that more clear haha.
Shane died when he was 12, so physically, he is the same age as Marcus, but mentally, he is an adult because he was dead longer than Marcus. It is in my AU that they come to haunt her.
And you are right, the author does mostly middle grade fiction and doesn%u2019t really talk about the parents. The Mom in the story doesn%u2019t even have a name, so I gave her one. I was just so interested in the deeper backstory she had with what little hints I was thrown.
Thanks for the review!
This is really good! I love this book series and it's so nice to see other people write about it. Keep up the good work.
Glad you like it!