Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence and mature content.
*This is a fanfic with a character’s mother. I have the character’s parents names, because they are not very important in the actual books. The actual books are a Scholastic series written by Dan Poblocki. It’s called “Shadow House”. I highly recommend! Play the game too, because it reveals some things that the books don’t. The game is called “Shadow House”. This story is underneath my folder titled “Shadow House fanfics”. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs <33”. Enjoy!*
Delaney lay in bed, letting sleep lay its drowsy spell on her. For two months, she hadn’t heard that awful song. She had two months of peace and she hoped that it would continue.
Her twelve year old son, Marcus, used to play his cello day in and day out. He’d go on forever if she didn’t tell him to stop and even then she had to repeat herself. He loved his cello, she could hear it in how he played.
He was too much like Shane.
He had Shane’s ginger hair, Shane’s green eyes, Shane’s straight posture. He was such a little gentleman, just like Shane. He stood tall and graceful, rarely ever smiling. He had this faraway look in his eyes. He didn’t like to speak.
But when Marcus played his cello, she could hear his sadness, his loneliness, from up in her room. She wanted to cradle him in her arms and stroke his hair, but at the same time, she couldn’t bear to look at the face that looked so much like her sweet, kind, creative younger brother.
Delaney had an older son named after him, but Marcus was the true Shane.
When Shane was alive, she used to think he was magical. Two years older than him, she believed in magic, light, and fairies, just as Shane believed in music, darkness, and monsters. To hear his violin was to lift her soul from the barrier of her flesh. He would play at night, a music machine. That elegant violin was his true love.
Then came the night of silence. The first night she didn’t hear his notes.
He didn’t come back the next morning. He didn’t come back the other morning either. He didn’t come back at all. The last time anybody saw Shane, he was laughing with his friends. They looked like they were going somewhere fun.
He was only twelve.
Delaney still clenched her bedsheets whenever she thought of him.
At least Marcus was gone, playing his songs where it would be appreciated.
Delaney went cold. She knew that sound, but it wasn’t supposed to play at that time.
He couldn’t have come back home early, could he? That email said he’d be in the academy for a year.
Yet there it was, playing away.
Delaney pushed back the covers. Her husband, Jacob, was still soundly sleeping. He didn’t hear the music.
She rushed downstairs, following the notes, which only got louder and louder with every step that she took.
Finally, Delaney burst open the door to his room.
Marcus was in his chair, limp and bloody.
The music still played.
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125,024 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
Hello! Ley here to review this delightful work for you. Today, I’ll be using my 'Autumn-Themed Review Template'! We’ll begin with my initial impressions, then delve into the aspects that stood out like the vibrant hues of fall, and then get into the critiques. I hope you find this review insightful, and that you're enjoying the cozy charm of autumn, wherever you are in the world! Let’s dive in!
The First Signs of Autumn
This is arguably my favorite pieces I've read by you! I loved the build-up, I loved how you took us deep into Delaney's mind, explained to us why she has this undeniable sense of trauma and dread deep inside her from what happened to her brother. Now, it seems to be happening to her own son. I'd love to read more pieces like this, so I'll be sure to check out that folder you mentioned at the beginning. Let's get right into the actual review.
A Golden Harvest
Like I said, I really loved how you took us on a journey through Delaney's mind. It intrigued me and kept me reading!
Another think I wanted to praise was your ability to capture so much emotion in your writing.
This quote is an awesome example of the emotion you bring to the table. We didn't really need to know what Shane looked like, but a part of being a writer is drawing in each possible aspect of any character in order to build emotional tension or build-up; and that's exactly what you did. By using these little details, your helping the reader get immersed into your story by getting attached to your characters. You never fail to awe me with this, though, so I shouldn't be too surprised. XD
And then, there's the ending. I don't know how I didn't see it coming, but it was perfect. The suspense was definitely present, and I think this last line:
was the perfect way to close this out. It gave me literal goosebumps and made me think back to the background we got on Shane. Lovely job connecting the dots!
Wilted Leaves and Crisp Critiques
I don't have any critiques for this piece. It's well written, and the flow was great! <3
Cozy Conclusion
Overall, this story gave me goosebumps and screwed with my head psychologically. It left me wondering if Shane is the one that killed Marcus, or if this is some type of familial curse, or if Marcus is really Shane reincarnated and just reliving his dead over and over again (this is a wild fetch, but oh well). This was definitely an intriguing and entertaining read! Thank you for sharing this with us!
With Love,
Ley
So glad you enjoyed! I really like the Autumn theme of the review. :>
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Kate and I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression
Well this was quite the tale here. Really bringing to life the horrors of this music in such a creepy fashion. I think you did an excellent job especially towards that ending there.
Anyway let's get right to: Kate's Line by Line Reactions;
Well its an interesting start. looks like Delaney is encountering a bit of a trouble with a song and the way things are being set up with Marcus makes me think he's about to accidentally dredge up said troubled song.
Oooh well that's interesting. I was thinking maybe its horrifying memories from an ex lover but it seems its actually more of a very sad memories of a lost brother there and you can feel those emotions at work there and how sad they both must be here.
Well that does not bode well. Looks like Shane was the person who balanced out Delaney and they had quite a wonderful childhood only for him to vanish very suddenly there. Love the way you bring this out through the themes they sing on there.
Oooh well that seems a little scary. Marcus being away and safe but now the sound coming to haunt her. Either poor Delaney is in trouble or Marcus is in trouble from the looks of it.
Welp. I was thinking Marcus may be in trouble but this still shocked me good there. I wasn't expecting things to be that bad. This music really is something else here. A wonderful cliffhanger I think to end on.
Aaand that's it for this oneee!!!
Overall
Overall I think you capture the horror of that music quite well, how it affected Shane and the outcome surrounding that and now the horror it leaves in Marcus's hands too.
As always remember to: Take what you think was helpful and forget the rest!
Kate