Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Once there was a thirteen year old boy named Ryan Blackrose who just didn't understand his older sister,Hayley.
Hayley always dreamed and had this faraway look on her face,like she was unhappy with her life.
Why?
Why couldn't she just be content?
Why couldn't she just...hang out with him more?
This hollowness,this loneliness of knowing he couldn't figure out his older sister...troubled him to his core.
Would Ryan ever know or understand someone he's lived with years again?
Oooh that's a connection I do recognize there with Hayley. That's a pretty interesting little look here towards how Ryan managed to fare. This one though I feel like is a little more bare than it should be. I get that judging from everything here it looks like Ryan really didn't have much happening to him in life and possibly even doesn't have that much of an involvement in the story. But this piece here feels a little too short.
We get to see Ryan's feelings on the matter of Hayley and how that drove him places but not quite. I feel like we could do with a little more emotion on Ryan's and perhaps more hints at what exactly this emotion ended up driving him to. Once again its a lovely little premise that we start with for how Ryan fared but I feel like you don't end up going nearly far enough in terms of telling us about Ryan and as a result this piece ends up feeling a little complete.
So overall, another lovely start here, but I think you could stand to tell us just a little bit more about Ryan because given just how much you've developed some other characters I refuse to believe this is all Ryan ever does.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
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