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Penelope’s story-Clowns,Magic,Murder and Lies

by vampricone6783


*This is Nova’s mother.I have Gacha Club character designs on my wall.Enjoy.

Once,there was a woman named Penelope.Penelope was briefly married to a guy named John and she had a kid with him,but it didn't work out.

You see,Penelope was a witch with extraordinary powers.John was just a regular human.They loved each other,but..Penelope's powers were too much for John,so they broke up.It was the best they could do.

Penelope's kid's name is Nova.Nova has powers,too,but Penelope won't tell her about them.Not yet.Nova is too young (only eight) to know about them..


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Sun Dec 18, 2022 3:47 am
kaitlyn wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to it,

Once,there was a woman named Penelope.Penelope was briefly married to a guy named John and she had a kid with him,but it didn't work out.

You see,Penelope was a witch with extraordinary powers.John was just a regular human.They loved each other,but..Penelope's powers were too much for John,so they broke up.It was the best they could do.

Penelope's kid's name is Nova.Nova has powers,too,but Penelope won't tell her about them.Not yet.Nova is too young (only eight) to know about them..


Well this was a very intriguing direction to take us in here. Seeing Penelope's side of the story really does help to paint a lovely picture of this family. Here I think despite this being possibly the shortest one of these that I'm reading today you actually manage to do enough things here for us to get a solid idea of Penelope and her motivations and current pursuits.

We know most of this in terms of how Penelope is powerful and ended up having to leave John but now we get a slightly clearer view of how these powers were simply too overwhelming to manage and not really something that ended up breaking the marriage due to simple greed. It seems a more amicable parting than the previous origin story for John implied.

I also love that little detail about Nova. Its good to see that Penelope at least kept her child and seems to care for him and it also seems like she perhaps wants to one day share her power too when Nova has managed to grow old enough. I think that makes for a lovely extra detail here and it really helps paint Penelope in a much different light to see her own side of the story.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




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Fri Apr 08, 2022 11:37 am
ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hey! Forever here with a review!!

It's actually quite interesting to jump in into a story skipping some parts. I have already forgotten if I have read the origin stories of Nova and John but anyway, this appeared to be a bit new to me. Let's get into the review now.

The tiny plot that we got to see there was quite interesting. It kind of made me think of misused power. The fact that Nova doesn't know about her powers and yet she have them, sounds quite terrifying to me. First of all, she herself can get terrified at the knowledge of her powers and secondly, if she is not a person to get terrified, then she obviously can misuse her powers without even knowing everything about them. Misused powers and using powers without even knowing them, most of the time turns out to be dangerous. I really really think that Penelope would have done better if she had told her about it. I am no one to judge people though.

Also, there's one more logical question that stood out to me. I don't think Nova is that person who always sits inside her house and talks with no one. Now if she does talk with someone, is it not very natural that they can tell her about her powers and she can know about them? Her mother after all is not the only way of her knowing about her powers.

It's pretty sad that they broke up and their love didn't last.I hope Nova will be okay with it and will be happy to live with her mother and will not miss her father. Also, could you please mention Nova's age? When you told too young, I instantly grew curious of Nova's age. Like we are indeed seeing from Penelope's POV but just to think the whole situation from our own POVs.

Overall, it was a good story I would say but it needs some editing and providing answers.

Keep Writing!!

~Forever




vampricone6783 says...


She%u2019s eight years old.



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Thu Apr 07, 2022 12:10 am
Stellarjay wrote a review...



Hello Vampricone,
I hope this review reaches you well.

Roses

The story was straightforward and got to the point. The characters and plot points hold a lot of potential and are interesting.

Buds

There are two main issues that I found in your story.
The story has to be fleshed out! As mentioned previously, the characters and plot points hold a lot of potential. They are intriguing and they make me want to delve deeper into the story. However, we don’t get that. As I’m reading I’m left with more questions than answers. Why did Penelope marry John if he was just a human? Why did they fall in love in the first place? Was Penelope born a witch or did she become one? Why were Penelope's powers too strong for John? The list of questions just goes on. What I’m trying to say is that the story needs more meat.
The second biggest issue is that of grammar. I believe I said this in a previous review for you, but you need to be putting a space after punctuation. The writing becomes very clunky and hard to read when you don’t do this.

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Overall, the plot-line and characters are very interesting. There are a few things you need to work on, but I’m sure it won’t be too hard to figure out. I hope this review was helpful, if you have any questions feel free to ask. Keep on writing and have a great rest of your day!
- Stellarjay





Every first draft is perfect, because all a first draft has to do is exist.
— Jane Smiley