In a wooden chest, on a wooden floor,
In a wooden room with a wooden door,
In the wooden chest, there’s a wooden drawer,
With many strange folders, in fact there are four.
The first shows strength and courageousness too,
How a person can live, what a person can do,
What a person can stand for, how someone survives,
How a person can slew and mess round with their lives.
The second folder in this sombre collection,
Shows hate, like and love and even affection.
It shows how a human might want to kill,
How respect turns to like, then you’re love sick and ill.
The third of the folders in the drawer of the mad,
What a person can loose, what they might have had,
What they can achieve when their mind’s to the test,
Or how they can fail when they’re not at their best.
The forth in the sequence in the room of all rooms,
Are hobbies and interests, how personality blooms,
What someone is into, what someone is not,
When there’s nothing to live for so you lay down to rot.
In a wooden chest, on a wooden floor,
In a wooden room with a wooden door,
I try to stay happy and live up to a goal,
Because the folders of life are inside of my soul.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
That's actually brlliant!
would when not be a better choice here than then?There was one part which was a little sticky and didn't flow brilliantl
Other that it was fantastic! Well done
First off, brilliant title you had there. I saw so many differet metaphors in my mind, just from the title!!! And it's SUCH a cute idea.
However, the first stanza did little for me - far too repetitve, and I was bored quickly. The second reads more like a poetic warning in one of Harry Potter's adventures, as goes for the third, fourth and the fifth. And the fifth one annoyed me again.
I would LOVE to see this poem in all its glory. It's a marvellous idea, and it should be better handled. Think about being less literal when you say things - personify, relate it to a symbol or simile or metaphor - and expand on this as much as you can.
Hi
I really like this poem. It is so cute, yet so realistic!
My favorite part was,
I really like how you found the words to rhyme in the end. Very smart and clever!
I really liked,
because it sounds so original.
The part that got me though was the beginning because it sounded so familiar (that riddle you heard when you were a child) so you kept the reader going with the thought "Where is he going with this?" running through their mind, because people would want to know if you do it justice. Smart, clever.
Very good, and keep writing. PM me for any questions or etc.
-CreativeFreak [ because I'm cool like that...not]