Harvey
“Oi, oi, oi. If it isn’t for blondie benda or should I call you “award winner” ?” Liam shouted, clenching a can of lager, as he waddled into the room. Always knows how to make an entrance he does. No matter whether that’s a festival, an interview, a private party or an award ceremony, he’ll make his presence well and truly known. Sometimes, I wonder why I’ve wasted 19 precious years in his company, where I could’ve been making a solo career (do you seriously think I mean that?). Liam is the heart and soul of the band. I don’t know where I’d be without him, or Matt. They’re the brothers I never had, but that’s something I don’t need to explain to you.
“Here he is. The man of the hour or the men of the hour, I should say.” Kian announced walking in, followed by Matt and Leila. Ah, the joys of attention. You forget how satisfactory it is, to have everyone talking about how great you are, sometimes. What? I like people praising me. Makes me feel better. And Jesus, don’t I need it when I’m living with a daughter like Missy.
“You gonna stick around Missy. Celebrate with us?” Kian suggested.
“No. I got better things to do, rather than to act false for an hour with you guys.” She reciprocated, looking through her homework diary. What is it with Year 11s getting so much work these days? They go to school for six hours a day, five days a week to do all that revision and classwork business. I understand that GCSES are big, but they don’t need to be so big that they have to put your life on hold, do they?
“Aww, come on. It’s been ages since we’ve seen you last. Anyway, your Dad and I were hoping to have a chat with you about your post 16 education choices. We’ve picked out some great apprenticeships in the area-”
“So you’re trying to take control of my education now? God, what’s it going to be next, setting curfews for when I can and can’t leave the home?”
“That’s a bit extreme, don’t you think Missy? I understand you might be approaching your time of the month, but all your dad wants to do is just try and help you. That’s all any of us want to do, really.” Leila said, typing on her phone like a teenager answering a text from her best friend.
“Help me? You couldn’t care less about helping me. The only thing that you could care about is your reputation and your precious little net worth. Oooh, how much money do I have in the bank, Harvey? How many followers do I have Leila? How many downloads have we reached, Kian? That’s all I ever seem to hear from any of you, and I’m fed up with it. Mum would never have let me end up like this. She would’ve let me do what I wanted to do, and supported me all the way-”
“Well that would’ve been a bit awkward for her, seeing as she was the one had the affair. Like they say, actions speak louder than words, Missy.” Leila said, cutting off her sentence. I’m glad she did. I knew exactly what she was planning to say. Where she was planning to go with that conversation. Trying to make out I’m the bad guy, even though I wasn’t the one who cheated.
“Leila is right, you know Missy. Diana has made it crystal clear, how she feels. If she wanted to see you, then she would’ve done so by now.”
“Has she really? Well, why is she spending £3,000 on a custody case then? Hmm. Answer me that one, Leila. Surprisingly, enough you don’t contact a solicitor just for something to do. Or just for a bit of fun. You contact them to sort something out. To help you sort out a legal issue. But, clearly you’re too thick to work that one out.”
“Why do I need to answer you? At the end of the day you’re just a teenager. A cynical, spoilt brat, who doesn’t appreciate what she has. Some people don’t even have a home, out there. They don’t have food, shelter, education, love. Some people’s parents don’t even want them-”
“Clap. Clap. Clap. Let’s all give Leila a round of applause for having her eyes open to 21st century society-
“Guys. Guys. This is meant to be a celebration, alright? Not another one of your ludicrous arguments.” I reiterated, intervening in yet another one of their arguments. If I left that any longer, then they would literally be going at each other like cats. Pathetic, right? I can understand and sympathise with Leila. She’s been through such a tough time in her life. But Missy? I expect better. After all, she’s had such a luxury life.
Some people, eh?
End of chapter
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140,218 Literary Works • 673,046 Reviews
hello.
I am here to give you a review. at first, I will point out some mistakes,
I think this sentence does not make sense. it should be -He always knows how to make an entrance.
who is this she? it's not clear. Although think it's Missy, it would be better if you use her name.
i think false should be falsely
i think GCSES should be GCSEs
put a comma after well and a who before had.
put a comma after day.
luxury should be luxurious.
enough. I can't find any more. whatever, the story is awesome. it points out the character of Missy. I liked it.
these are mere suggestions. it's totally up to you whether to take these suggestions or not.
I hope I have helped you. pls, review my works too.
Hi sunlightwarriorxo,
Mailice here with a short review.
I will also write something briefly about Chapter 1: Harvey. I didn't want to write a separate review because it's just a small thing.
I like that we now see the story from Missy's father's perspective and see what he thinks of her and vice versa from her chapters. It can twist the truth a bit because everyone has a different opinion and different views about a fellow human being. It's especially nice to see that with father and daughter.
The first chapter from Harvey's chapter shares a bit of the same language usage as Missy's, which I don't like so much. It gives you a bit of an impression that they might be one and the same person. Maybe you could change Harvey's style a little bit.
It's cool that we get to know the other band members. I liked the dialogue, almost the whole chapter was dialogue, which gave the chapter a great dynamic.
I love these two comments more than I should!
Also, this section is great; it clarifies that Harvey doesn't have much interest in her daughter in or doesn't want to know much about her and her private life.
I like that we see Harvey's perspective now and I'm excited to see what happens next.
Mailice.