Over and over and over

Hey racket! I really enjoyed this poem! And I can relate to it as well (I'm a night owl so I can't sleep at night- but all of my classes are during the day. *sigh*) I loved how you used repetition to reinforce the main idea of the poem! Great work! Repetition is a difficult thing to master because if it is not used at the right time in the right context, it can make a poem drag. But you used it quite well here! I really don't have much criticism here. The only thing I would suggest is maybe add more imagery.

My favorite lines were:
"Stars dangling precariously outside my window, moon trapped in orbit. I can’t think…"
"Light refracting through the sill, looking, searching for me from the moon. The dark sky is not alone. I can’t help myself from…"
They're just so beautifully descriptive!

Okie dokie, that's all I have for you! I really enjoyed this poem and I'm looking forward to reading more of your stuff. Keep writing and have a wonderful day/night! ^-^

I love this poem! There is this great rhythm to it, and it seems to me to follow the thoughts of one who cannot sleep, at first focusing on discomfort, the fact that they cannot sleep, then drifting of into the dangerous realms of imagination, of thought. Although I don't usually have trouble sleeping (not to brag, or anything), I still think you captured the essence of insomnia well. There's really nothing I dislike about this poem. Great job!
herby

Wow this is a great poem! I like how you use detailed descriptions, and I see some imagery as well, I can definitely picture some things from this poem. I also like the repetition, it brings the poem together and keeps the main point in mind. My favorite part is the end "I can't... sleep." It is like a dramatic finish. Great job and I hope to see more of your work!

hey racket!
I really like what you've got going on here. It's a feeling I think almost everyone can relate to. There are nights where you JUST CAN'T SLEEP. No matter how hard you try. And it seems like everything lasts forever and for goodness sake, why can't it just be morning already if I'm not going to get any sleep?!?
Like I said, very relatable.

I also really like your repetition here of the "Turning. // Over and over and over." Although I do feel like just "over and over" would suffice, and that it has a better rhythm to it.

I know I always feel to hot or cold when I can't sleep. Perhaps that could be a good sensory detail? I'm guessing since the hair and sheets are stuck to your body that it's too hot.

I like the moon and stars images.

Notes piled up on repeat, swirling, taking up my space. The music is too much for me.

In my head, through my arms, to my toes, out the window towards the moon, the stars.

Well, I have to say this, racket; you've done a nice job of conveying my feelings during those few and far between nights where sleep is an impossibility. Well done!

This poem is just so vivid, I'll admit. I like the way that you provide so many powerful descriptions in this course of this poem, such as the "stars dangling precariously outside my window," and "notes piled up on repeat, swirling." They add together to form an intense poem, whose message is consistent from start to finish. After all, this is not only well conveyed through your descriptions, but, better yet, you've also chosen a topic just about anyone can relate to - insomnia. These two parts combine together excellently, so I must commend you for that. From this, I can envision the suffering of the narrator, as they go turning over and over again, too overwhelmed by all their surroundings, conflicting conditions, and life in general. I can imagine those thoughts, those overwhelming thoughts, and those night feelings that course through the narrator and leave them in such a state. Even in places where you state the narrator's being driven down by thoughts and also the narrator's ability to think make sense; they are relatable (what the heck? I'm pretty sure this is a word - right? Darn Chrome. ), and communicated thoughtfully by your descriptions.

In all, I loved the story. The emotions in this poem were intense, incredible, and fascinating. You did an excellent job with your descriptions, and this poem was relatable and thoughtful. I enjoyed reading it from start to finish, and I thought that it was beautiful and captivating. Well done!