Young Writers Society

This poem really makes me laugh in a way. I'm not sure if that's what you wanted me to feel, but I laughed in a good way. It makes me laugh, because Acne is a big horrible part of a teenager's life. And though many of my friends have acne, I don't seem to get it at all, but this interpretation of acne is funny.

Sooooooooooooo funny!! I laughed when I read this the first time. I can see why you wrote this poem. In the middle, that is a very good comment. Why did God create acne? It serves no purpose except to annoy us!

a very smart attempt! the poem is pretty short but it is the shortness that makes it so easy to read. i think you used the word 'plague' a lot of times. maybe that's the only thing that i find odd. otherwise the poem is full of humor and obviously the writer's remorse correctly conveyed about acne. you also specify the self-obsessive nature of the person and what will others think if they see her face. very nice effort!!

Hi racket! GriffinClaw here for another review!

First thing, this is such a clever idea! I love the ending, and the humor that follows the entire poem. I totally agree with your point of view, love it!

Critique time:
1) You use the word "plague" 3 times. That word is awesome, but you shouldn't overuse it. Find some synonyms to replace it.
2) In the third stanza,

"You come in pimples,
Black-heads,
And zits,
All of these seen,
On every unfortunate teen,"

The word :You come in pimples,
Black-heads,
And zits,
All of these seen,
On every unfortunate teen,

The word "blackheads" does not have a hyphen, so remove that. Also, you should probably end this stanza with a period. It will sound fine without the comma.

For the last stanza,

And when people see me,
They scream:
"She needs some Facial Cream!"

The words "facial cream" do not need to be capatalized because you are not refering to a specific type of cream.

A very original and clever idea for a poem! Love it (and love you, sis!).

Continue writing and being amazing!

~GC

This is hilarious. I love the rhyme scene - it really works and seems really effortless. I was smiling the whole time I read this.
Well done!

This is so FUNNY!!! I started smiling at the first stanza, and by the time I read the last line I was full out laughing!!

My acne isn't very bad, thank God for that. :3 No one likes acne. Period. End of story.

I'm glad you wrote a poem expressing a teenager's problems. I love it! <3

Again, thanks for this HILARIOUS poem (please write more!),
Wonder

Funny, and as a person who is *finally* winning the war on acne, I appreciate this poem. The only thing I'd suggest for improvement is a stanza on home remedies. You know, like that bad commercial for whatever facial injection? Where the kids are rubbing seaweed on their face, or toothpaste, or magnets, or Glo sticks, or all these other weird home remedies that I've never even heard of?

(Toothpaste works, by the way, although some St. Ives is better.)

this is so funny! The last line is phenomenal :3

very well done

hahaha this is very funny. you do well when writing humor, so i tell just after reading this. i am getting your point of view as well. keep going

This was probably the best (and only) poem I have ever read on this site. I hope you make more poems about the trouble of teens

This is an awesome piece! I like the humor you have included in this poem, and the occasional rhymes you put in. Instead of having commas at the end of every sentence, perhaps you can also include some periods? (Sorry, not a punctuation expert here)

I like how to ended it with "She Needs Some Facial Cream!", but you should also consider not capitalizing every word in the sentence since it disrupts the flow of poetry. And also, perhaps you can split your first stanza into two, the second starting with "Why, oh why\ Did God create you?"

These are just a few of my suggestions, you don't have to go through with it, but it's just something that I thought of.
~starlinks

Nice work! I enjoyed this thoroughly!

~Racket