Heya quitecontrary!
Q here for a RevMo review. 
I saw in your description that this is a "fractured fairytale" -- my best guess is maybe Cinderella? Since she's running away from a prince? But, I think sort of the elements of the forest, running, leaving clothing behind and talking to animals are suited to a lot of different fairytales, which is cool. If you were going for a little bit less of a universal fairytale vibe, it would be cool to see some more hints!
I think you chose a really unique form to convey the story, and I like the use of dialogue within the poem and the perspective of a woodpecker observing the scene.
However, I also think that the rhyming aspect of the form is being a little restrictive here. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't see any one rhyme scheme here; sometimes, two lines rhyme back to back, and other times there are a few lines in between before you bring in another rhyme.
I think rhymes can have a really neat effect, and I definitely think they go well with the fairytale vibe! But, they can also get in the way of storytelling sometimes.
Here's a couple of examples:
Says I to the Woodpecker:
"Gentleman, you are not so shy
When to strangers your opinions are paid."
And consider the love that after you ran."
Thus he flew off, upon tree trunks to knock,
It feels like some of the lines are being worded just to fit the rhyme. So there are some inverted sentences, "When to strangers your opinions are paid," that just don't read in a very straightforward way.
I think the poem can definitely handle a couple of those, but when there are a lot back to back, it becomes a little harder to keep track of what's being said. The language sort of doubles back on itself.
You could decide to be more flexible about your rhymes, or you could sort of write in a straightforward way what each stanza is about and then experiment with different wordings to fit the narrative.
What I put together is that the woodpecker saw the girl run through the forest in the night, and he wants to give her his opinion. I believe that his advice is to go back for the prince? Since she ends up with a "decision undone" and "walks back the path so forcibly tread," it sounds like that's what happens.
I'd love to see some more dialogue from the narrator, since it's hard to tell what her perspective is! Why did she run, and why does she need to go back? She only says, "Gentleman, you are not so shy
When to strangers your opinions are paid."
Which I think was a retort about the woodpecker's commentary? It was a little hard for me to understand, so I'd love to see more of her! Or to have the woodpecker narrate more about her!
I think you have a really cool concept for a poem and an interesting take on a fairytale, I'd just love a little more clarity/understanding of what's going on! I love the narrative form.
I loved the ending lines:
Chorused the songbirds in reply:
"Glorious mornings are gifts for the wise;
Take care for your heart, and you'll win a just reprise."
I thought it was a neat piece of advice and love the "glorious mornings" bit.
Hope my review made sense! Let me know if you have any questions.
-Q
Points: 8870
Reviews: 522
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