Young Writers Society

Hi, quitecontrary, I'm here to drop off a review.
I want to say this before I begin nitpicking: it's a wonderful, lyrical poem that really struck me. You certainly have a flair for writing, and I admire you for it.

When farewells seem like cruel harrows of debt

And goodbyes reap the stinging bite of blue;

That bleed profusely in the low-lit night

unchancy fright.

To either side it makes its time true claim
Of sorrows healed in moonlit shadows chaste
Forgiveness of sharp lies: an end to shame

If such a cure can dry eyes teared starry
Then why is it so hard to say sorry?

Hey! I'm here with short review!

Overall, this poem had some good meaning and some nice metaphors. I didn't see any grammatical errors, so nothing to comment on there. I did want to point out however, that there was a break of flow in just one part.

When love is fickle and the sun has set
On old attachments innocent and true;
When farewells seem like cruel harrows of debt,
And goodbyes reap the stinging bite of blue;
An empty knife cleaves wounds in grave young hearts
That bleed profusely in the low-lit night,
And leave a trail of scarlet stains turned dark

An empty knife cleaves wounds in grave young hearts
That bleed profusely in the low-lit night

leave a trail of scarlet stains turned dark

If such a cure can dry eyes teared starry
Then why is it so hard to say sorry?

Hello there,

I have a lot of experience with sonnets, so I think I'm your girl in this. I may be harsh in this review, tell me if I am. Here we go,

Capitalization every line of a poem is a sign of amateur writing in the poetry genre, so I'd capitalize beginning of every sentence. You do a good job with punctuation like periods, but some places run on quite a bit in a few areas of the stanzas, which should be broken up because a lack of punctuation is, again, a sign of newness to writing poetry. That also makes me bring up another thing.

The formatting, or well lack of, is all over the place. It should be in stanzas of 4,4,4, and 2 respectfully. A block of words is not something a reviewer would like to pick apart because of how it looks, which is large. Formatting is hard, so it can take some time to find the one way that works. I am also victim to many formatting horror stories, don't sweat it because it totally happens sometimes.

I have no idea on how to do iambic pentameter right, so I cannot give any tips or criticism there. I do know that it is quite difficult, but that is all I have learned. I think a quick search on Google can explain it more than I can, or another user that understands. I am sure they'll find this, so that most likely will be talked about.

Onto the overall message of this poem, it's about love, which is very common among writers because it is a wide feeling that some people feel. It is also on the topic of heartbreak in many ways like the jealousy reference. You portrayed everything is a tidy way and it looks organized. I also find the rhymes to rhyme, which is needed in a sonnet, so another thing I like about this poem.

I think this is pretty good, but there are some places it could improve. If this is your first sonnet, it's good for being new as this style is harder. If it's not, still okay because, as I said, it's very hard.

Have a good day,
Haley.