The lamppost on the corner of 36th Street is an inanimate object that people pass on their way to work. No one looks at it. No one looks in awe at its tall stature and dim light that shines at exactly 6:05 PM. You would think nothing special could ever be written about a boring, decrepit lamppost. But you are wrong.
On December 23, a morning no different from any other, a man and a woman crashed into the lamppost. Literally. The woman came from one direction, busy turning the page of her book, and bumped headfirst into the post. A man, on a work call and looking to the sky, tripped and fell onto the post.
Their eyes locked as they brushed themselves off. Whatever they were thinking about before exited their minds. It only lasted a minute, though. The two were brought back to reality and continued on their way.
They met again the next week, and then the next, until they could not simply ignore it. The woman, Kate, held her hand out to the man.
"I'm Kate," she blurted, feeling herself turn crimson.
"Alex," the man shook her hand, captivated by her amber eyes. "I suppose it's inevitable that we won't see each other here, isn't it?"
"I suppose," nodded Kate. "What should we do about it?"
The man looked up at the old lamppost. It had been there since he was a young boy. It was nothing more than scraps of metal and a lightbulb. But, now, it was symbolic to him. He had always been a sort of romantic.
"I suppose I could treat you to dinner," Alex said awkwardly, having never asked anyone on a date.
"Alright," Kate responded awkwardly, having never been asked on a date. "Tonight then?"
"Tonight," Alex agreed. "Where should we meet?"
Kate blinked and laughed as if he had said the most hilarious thing ever. Alex furrowed his brow, confused at what she found funny.
"Why at the lamppost, silly!" she cried.
And maybe, you were right, nothing special could be written about a boring, decrepit lamppost. Yet, I do not think so. Because Kate and Alex's story seems very special. Especially to them.
~The End~
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,831 Reviews
needs more lamppost 0/10 just kidding. I like the idea of taking a simple inanimate object and making a story of why it's special even if it's just for two people.
wouldn't mind if there was a little more in the story like seeing more interactions from the couple but as it is I don't have much more to say cute story.
haha thank you for the review!
Hi pineapple321,
Mailice here with a short review!
I think you're totally right about your story when you talk in the first paragraph about being wrong if you think you can't write anything special about a lamppost. I also thought at the same time I would fall for a short story that would go in the direction of horror.
I like your narration at the beginning. It seems like a beginning of a documentary or a film where soon what you don't expect appears. You keep a neutral and good lead of your structure there and I like the inclusion of details like 36th Street, 6:05PM, etc... It gives this lamppost a whole new meaning and specific place again.
I also like how the story flows in the first place. I like the development of a relationship between Kate and Alex, and also found it read well. I also liked the ending, as it makes me feel like you were trying to put a smile on the reader's face first (which you succeeded in doing) as well as educate the reader that even the small, unassuming things in life can have a big meaning.
What I also like is that the characters are only mentioned by name and have no appearance. This gives the reader a good role to play and to imagine your story better. The dialogue was a little awkward, but I still liked it. They feel spontaneous, coy and random, giving that necessary "fairy tale" feel you've created here.
A point that maybe needs a change, but isn't necessary:
Here's a point where your narrative structure gets a bit out of neutral and think the opening to the woman's name should be polished up a bit too. It's just one word, but I think that changes the whole theme here that you want to create. When you write, "The woman called / named Kate, etc..." it makes more of a connection with the reader, thinking it could be anyone, than this specific implication here that the woman is just named Kate. It's hard to explain what I mean, but if you want to expand on my point above, it would be more interesting to paraphrase it that way.
In summary, it was a great little story and see it as the first collection of a little anecdote.
Have fun writing!
Mailice
Thanks for this sweet review!
Hello, here for a short review!
This was such a sweet story. I love how you portrayed a random inanimate object from the world around us and brought it to life through two ordinary people's lives and the story that began right there. I loved the voice of narration and the simple tone of the story. You don't use big fancy words to decorate the story and while that keeps it real and beautiful, a little here detail here and there would bring forth the underlying emotions and add more life to the characters.
' "I suppose it's inevitable that we won't each other here, isn't it?" '
As others have pointed out, you missed a word here, which I am guessing would have been 'meet'? Not sure, of course.
I am only realizing now that I don't have any other criticism to offer. My only complaint would be that there wasn't enough details, but that's just me.
This was such a light read and it brought the sweetest smile on my face. Keep writing! I can't wait to read more of your works!
Thank you so much for this kind review!
Ahoy hoy,
This cute little story was a delight to read and I couldn't help but smile. So, without further ado here comes my review.
1.
I thought off on a positive note and state that this was a nice opening, effectively setting the tone of the piece and fixing a Morgan Freeman narrator voice in my head, as well as bringing the lamppost in as the main focus for the story.
2.
After taking a quick squiz at Alice's comments below I'm going to agree that perhaps a little more detail might be a good thing to add as this will give some more context to Kate and Alex's meeting.
Something simple such as: "On December 23, a night no different from any other, ...." would even do the trick.
3.
This may just be me, but I feel changing 'busy' to the adverb 'busily' might suit the sentence's flow a bit better. Maybe? It's your decision, either would actually be fine.
4.
Again with the context. Do they always meet at the lamppost, or is it at other random locations? By expanding upon this detail, you also have the opportunity to expand upon the lives and background of your characters; e.g. is the lamppost on Kate's way to and from the library? Does Alex lead a stressful jobbing resulting in him often being caught up in it?
These little tid-bits can do so much to flesh out your characters and bring more depth to your story if you ever chose to extend it.
5.
I feel like you may have missed out on a word here.
All in all, this was sweet and I very much enjoyed reading it. I hope to read more from you so keep writing
- QuoolQuo
Thanks so much! i%u2019ll make sure to fix my errors
I%u2019ll make*
Hey Alice is here to give a short review!!!
MY THOUGHTS~
Awe such a sweet and beautiful story. You are right, some things are just normal and not worth noticing for us, but for some it has a special meaning in it. We have some emotions connected with different object that other think as a normal thing. You have a beautiful writing style and I wonder how you came to think of writing a story about a lamppost, how did the idea hit you?
Ahhhh such a beautiful line. Such great emotions! Awesome!
SUGGESTION~
I think maybe you can insert some detailed things like what time was it or the weather anything, it will make it more beautiful. Like ~On December 23, the night was clear and calm, silvery white moonlight sprinkled on the ground. The street shimmered by the glow of the bright, yellow street lamp.
You know these things make your writing look more elegant and beautiful. But there is nothing wrong with your work, it still is awesome, it's just my own suggestion that you may take or not take, it's your opiniun.
Overall it was a nice little short story with real emotions. Keep writing! You are an awesome writer!
Thank you so much! I will definitely add more detail to the paragraph you suggested
Oh, and I honestly have no idea how the idea of the lamppost came to me. I am pretty sure I was just thinking of how I could make something that seemed ordinary seem interesting and appealing.
Yeah, most of the time the ideas just hit us from nowhere!