Happiness is a lot of things
It's the smell of rain
Or the way the little robin sings
It's hot days in the car
When music was blasting on the radio
And those nights when Dad strummed his old guitar
It's the sound of crashing waves
And snowflakes landing in our eyes
Or reading on chilly days
Happiness is making someone smile
On the days it's hard
It's making someone laugh, at least for awhile
Happiness is many things
Mostly imagining what tomorrow brings
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139,350 Literary Works • 672,540 Reviews
Oof hit me hard with the last line. It’s so true.
On first read I was thrown off by the ABA, CDC...EE rhyme scheme, and the inconsistent rhythm, but now...
There's so much artistry in this poem I wouldn’t have you change a thing. The rhyme scheme creates finality with every...couplet? Stanza? Idk, but it’s good. It slows the reader down, creating a natural break between every couplet, allowing the powerful visuals to be thoroughly imagined and appreciated before you move on.
Every concept is beautiful, you have such a way with words.
This would be easier to read at first sight if you separated each couplet into its own stanza, but I think it wouldn’t be as connected. So whatever.
<3
Hey there! MapleWay here dropping by with a quick review!
This was really good! I loved the whole vibe it had going as well! It was all so happy and fun. And when you described the smell of the rain, the nights when Dad strummed his old guitar or even the sound of the crashing waves. I could smell the fresh wet spring rain. I could smell the night and hear the silent ripples of the guitar. I could hear and feel the waves crashing at my feet. So if I were to say one thing about this poem it would be to keep up the imagery and happy vibe! Also, could you tag me next time you post a poem? if you don't know how I can tell you!
Hi, MapleWay! Glad you liked my poem
And yes, could you tell me how to tag people? I'm new to this so I'm not sure how
So basically post a comment on your wall with the link to your poem along with the person you want to tags username with an @ in front of it. I actually just tagged some people for a story I posted on my wall f you want to check and see. If you still don't get it don't hesitate to lt me know!
Thank you I was able to figure it out!
'Ello there!
First Impressions:
I appreciate interpreting people's concepts of happiness, and I hope other people like discovering those elements as well. Sometimes the smallest things can make a person content, which is naturally such a pleasant thing to write a poem about because it presents plenty of individuality and compassion.
I think comparing rain with happiness works well. Rain can be gentle and delicate, but it can additionally be more electric, which can represent people's emotions. There's also the note that some people find satisfaction in the noise of rainfall or substantial storms.
Birds compose mellower sounds as well, which is most likely why so many people enjoy listening to their melodies. Humans desire tranquil surroundings, and typically, birds are indications that life is continuing due to the fact birds choir when they are secure.
I find that the above is similar to water sounds because they're as faint as they are hurried. It varies often as individuals' emotional states shift regularly, which captures some personification as the waters are effortlessly charming or human-like.
The simplicity of this poem is a delightful contrast to the other poetry I've been browsing lately, and it's exhilarating to encounter a poem that makes me wonder even though it's not long-spun with tedious concept choices everywhere.
Digging Deeper:
The temperament brought in with referencing family makes me incredibly homesick in a good way. It creates another layer of sentiment to the poem that makes it relate to different people from distinct generations. It's more authentic and hard-hitting that way.
I feel the same way about applying seasons and allowing them to have comparable outcomes. As you understand the poem more, it seems like you're developing along with the narrator and you're enduring years of growth over the time periods.
I envision myself with the narrator as they observe rain storms, waves, and snowfall because that's the effect you've produced. Like I said before, I consider that to be one of the elements the simplicity made even more compelling.
I also admire the way you chose to settle everything because it had a lot of opportunities to be thought about. There isn't anything to continue after that because it wraps everything up perfectly.
Nitpicks:
I'm not welcoming the selection of formatting. The italics pulled me away from desiring to read because it was challenging to concentrate on the subjects I aspired to create as I frequently lost recognition of the line I was at when examining.
I also consider having it only in the one stanza doesn't do much for your poem besides making it appear longer than it truly is. That's not regularly a serious thing, but it changes the poem interpretating encounters moderately.
Conclusion:
This was a simplistic poem that motivated me to understand simple is sometimes better than more advanced things, which is something a lot of people should focus on instead of failing at handling significant description choices.
Good job ~
chi
Thanks for the review!
I felt this 10/10 good job
Thank you!