The Weary Coat

Hello!
When I first read your title, I thought it was “The weary Coast” like, a seashore, so when you started off talking about a coat, I was very intrigued. The I reread the title, and I realized the entire poem was about a coat! How interesting of a subject matter!
The tone of this reminds me of one of the moral-poems that were (and still are, I think) very popular. This tone reminded me somewhat of this poem http://holyjoe.org/poetry/malloch.htm And I really like that poem, so that was a good feeling.
So your “moral” as I take it, goes something like this: Sometimes you have to let go of things that you’ve relied on all your life, that have helped you through many tough situations, because you grow, and you no longer need them.
I think the little bit of rhyming here was done well. This was a good example of imperfect rhyme. Although I do feel like you were driven too much by the rhyme, and it ended up feeling forced. Try not to let your rhymes dictate how your poem goes.
I like the descriptions in here, but I’d like to see just a few more descriptive words of what the coat actually looked like. Mostly, what color was it? I just really wanted to know that, even though it wasn’t necessary.
This was a well done poem, and I really don’t have much else critique about it. Watch your punctuation. I can’t remember how semicolons are correctly punctuated, so you may or may not have the correct usage of them. (I should really look that up)
Sorry if this review isn’t really helpful. XD
I enjoyed the simplicity of this poem, and urge you to keep writing and learning!
~fortis

Hey Tiny here!

Okay I have bolded my favorite parts of this poem for you. This is the first poem in a while I have been able to relate to so there will be a lot of bold, just warning you.


Seldom did she waver from it;
this coat – so warm and tender.
When cold or storm brought her defeat,
this coat would be her cover.

Many a time she wore the coat
and weathered her toughest seasons.
It sheltered her, kept her afloat
from the depths of her delusions.

Delusions, yes! Like illusions, you see,
that her coat may one day wither
and let in the cold; forsake her safety,
forget that it should protect her.

Lost in her thoughts, she one day felt
the coat was much too worn.
The buttons had no longer held
the place they were once sewn.

As everything has its time,
and its end coming near,
this coat, once at its prime,
shall have to disappear.

For things turn worn and weary
and newer things come to happen;
just like every new memory
will one day be left forgotten.

I love your very unique writing style and how relatable this is. Everyone has been forgotten or left so it something that everyone feels.

Keep writing

Very interesting!


I like this, and I see it as a metaphor for memories, the coat is fine, then is gets worn.


This is a very interesting poem, and it would be nice to know where the inspiration came from!


I cannot think of anything to critique on. This has a wonderful flow to it, and slides off the tongue's of the voices in my head.


Well, this is really cool (How many times have I said this already? lol) But I want you to know it's a real nice piece!


Thanks!

Always,

SW