Sting

by murtuza

Published December 22, 2013

E - Everyone

In Poems

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Bullets spray, unabashed.
Their intent so spiteful;
their infliction, so torrid.

Sprayed from the mouth
through a tongue so devious,
the rage shoots out
impaling the two of us.

Spare me not
even one honest word.
Take your shot;
you will be heard.

But gently do seek
the words that you think.
For actions may speak
but words can sting.

Comments & reviews · 7
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StealTheWorld
Comment
StealTheWorld commented Comment · Dec 24, 2013

This was a very impressive poem. The language was extremely eloquent. Your word flow was perfect. The last stanza was especially powerful :) amazing job.

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Joslyn Comment
Joslyn commented Comment · Dec 23, 2013

Amazing poem. I love your writing style, keep the poems coming! :D

harshita3chaarag commented Comment · Dec 23, 2013

Hey There.
This was a very very impressive and potent poem. The use of short sentences keeps the reader interested, compelling as it is. Very well written.
Harshita :)

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Arcticus
Comment
Arcticus commented Comment · Dec 23, 2013

Powerful!

<3

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Ciblio
Review
Ciblio wrote a review Review · Dec 22, 2013

My most favorite part would have to be:

"But gently do seek
the words that you think.
For actions may speak
but words can sting."

I think you did an absolutely beautiful job on picking the words.
They all work wonderful together.

There's nothing in the way of letting the poem flow together.

I believe that you have a lot of potential, and you're using it in the exact way that you're supposed to be.

Your talent is great.

I love your work.

I didn't find anything out of place.

You did a really, really good job in creating this lovely piece.

Keep up the good work!

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TimmyJake
Review
TimmyJake wrote a review Review · Dec 22, 2013

Timmyjake to leave you a short review!

I know that with poetry its kind of just how you want with punctuation, but it seems to me as though with the first line, that something isn't right. I don't know. Maybe just how it is worded. Bullets Spray, unabashed. Maybe its the word? Unabashed? I don't know.
When I read this, I don't think of an actual gun, but a mouth. Someone hurting you with words. An excellent metaphor, although with a gun it is the person doing the hurting not the gun. Still an awesome example!
I loved this poem. It really says something. Don't hurt me. Words can sting. I loved it!
Keep Writing!!
~Timmyjake
Sorry its so short, but I've never been good at reviewing poetry! :D

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RachelLeeAnn
Review
RachelLeeAnn wrote a review Review · Dec 22, 2013

Hello there! :)

This is a lovely poem you've written. I like how you compare words to the shot of a gun. Very unique.
I can feel such passion and almost bitter pain in this stanza here:

Spare me not
even one honest word.
Take your shot;
you will be heard.


I have absolutely nothing to nit pick here. This is a wonderful piece. Good job; keep writing!

-Rae



You are going to love some of your characters because they are you, or some facet of you, and you are going to hate some characters for the same reason.
— Anne Lamott