It burns like hell!
My soul starts to dwell...
This feeling starts to make die!
That Anger...
It opens the door to the devil!
I loose my mind...
I feel it right behind!
It’s my Path...
I can’t escape that thing!
It’s my Path...
Can’t stop its wrath!
That evil past...
You better run fast!
It is my path!
Can’t control my arms, my legs, common sense!
Can’t stop throwing my stuff, my things, my self!
Can’t hear you ask for mercy the sounds voice is gone!
This anger must stop!
Have to pour it out of my cup...
It won’t be my path?
Will it be my path?
Should be path?
Hell no it won’t be my path!!!!!!!!!!!
Got to cool down!
Sad clown...
This Anger shall die!
I will take it high..
Must forgive till the end!
Anger ain't my friend...
Fade away!
Far away!
I can’t escape that thing!
It’s my Path...
Must stop its wrath!
Can’t control my arms, my legs, common sense!
Can’t stop throwing my stuff, my things, my self!
Can’t hear you ask for mercy the sounds voice is gone!
Not my path!
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139,674 Literary Works • 672,647 Reviews
I have been searching for something good to review. lol. Let's see... the piece was really good. It had the rock theme going on like you said. I just wonder, what type of rock? Alt., heavy metal? Anyway, You have all the proper elements in a song, I can tell what the chours, verses, pre-chours ect. were. What i would fix is moving this part
To either the begining of the song or the second parth of the song. It makes it so that people will be able to sing along with out getting completely lost. So I'm guessing that's your chours. So, that's about it. It was really great!
Kay
You still have some working on the lyrics. It was okay in sense of rhyming but You were repeating yourself abit and using the same words all over again.
[quote]This anger must stop
Have to pour it out of my cup
It won’t be my path?
Will it be my path?
Should be path?
Hell no it won’t be my path[quote]
the 4x path just doesn't work.. and try writing should IT be my path
it was okay though=)
HMMM let me see.. PUNCTUATION !!
HOW CAN YOU ALWAYS FORGET THAT.... JEzus
kay but it rhymes well that's what i like but I didn't get this part:
But it was good. Keep it up.
LORD ANZIUS WUZ HERE
This was.. dark and deep. I'm not much of one for rhyming, but since this is lyrics, I guess I have to let you get away with it...
A few mistakes in the beginning I thought I should point out:
I'm not sure if you meant to say lose or loose, but you should change it if you didn't mean loose... Lose is like lost and loose is the opposite of tight. Why they have to make this so confusing, I don't know...
Mined should be mind, right?
And rite should be right? Unless you meant to spell it this way. In that case, creative license is your friend.
That's about it.
- StarDuster