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An Explanation

by lelu


SOCIAL RULE:

Always express only half your anger.

EXPLANATION:

If you have an anger amount of 2, express only an anger amount of 1. If you have an anger amount of 4, express only an anger amount of 2. Etc.

PROBLEM:

What if someone expresses all their anger?

I express all my anger. This doesn't mean I always rage or lose control. I don't let my anger control me any more than the average person does. I merely express all of it.

This leads to people thinking I have more anger than I do. If I express an anger amount of 1, they think I have an anger amount of 2. If something that only merits an anger amount of 2 happens, and I express an anger amount of 2, they think I have 4. They think I'm overreacting.

I try not to overreact or to have more anger than is reasonable for the situation. So, when someone tells me not to be so angry, I'm displeased. I am displeased, and maybe a little more angry, because they're thinking I'm not dealing well. Dealing well consists of:

Having only the amount of anger that makes sense in the situation (for example, not being enraged but merely mildly mad when you drop an ice cream cone).

Not directing the anger at the wrong thing (for instance, a random person in the distance).

Expressing the anger politely, such as, "I'm angry, but not at you."

It's hard to deal well--with anger, or many other things. If someone, like me, has had to deal with hard emotions, it's important to them that they're good at it. They may feel insulted when someone tells them they're not dealing well, especially when they really are dealing well, just because they politely express all their emotion in the right time and place.


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Sat Mar 02, 2019 4:52 am
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JadeLotus wrote a review...



That's true. People think anger is raging, screaming, punching something, or something along the lines of that. This shows that anger is expressed in many different ways, some of which are quite tame. You're right, society thinks that you should always keep half of it in. Expressing it all doesn't mean you've lost control. This is an unspoken rule that everyone knows about but nobody even realizes they know it.




lelu says...


And when they know it, they can realize that breaking it doesn't have to mean being stupid or incompetent or bad.



JadeLotus says...


Exactly!



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Sat Mar 02, 2019 3:02 am
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shieldmaiden wrote a review...



So true! I believe I am one of those people who 'overreacts' to things where anger is concerned. I don't think I've lost control - just merely making it clear to my dear family and loved ones that putting a hairbrush on food surfaces irks me. Until you wrote this work I didn't even know about this unspoken rule. Which explains a lot of things, especially why my family believes I'm overreacting when I'm merely expressing all of my anger. I appreciate this work. Good communication is important especially when anger is involved. And if you can express it with due proportion - than why not?




lelu says...


SO GLAD you liked this and it helped you! I want people to understand this kind of thing, so they can know that people who speak a different "social language" aren't actually trying to offend, but just react differently.



lelu says...


Also, love your name.



shieldmaiden says...


Aw, thanks.



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Tue Feb 26, 2019 7:25 am
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FlamingPhoenix wrote a review...



Hello FlamingPhoenix here with a review for you on this lovely day.

Okay so I thought this was really well written, and I can't find anything wrong with it. So I'm here to tell you what i though about what you said.

What you have said here is really true. It's hard to control all of your anger, so I do agree that you could let out half of it. I to don't see anything wrong with that.
I guess it also depends on what you have gone through or what you are going through in your life. You can't always be happy, and some times your going to get upset and sometimes mad, and sometimes other people need to deal with it, like you do with them. And I think you have done a really great job telling us that.
I couldn't find any grammar mistakes or spelling, but that could partly be because i'm not the bet at that stuff. I hope to see more of your works out on YWS soon. I hope you never stop writing and have a great day/night.

Your friend
FlamingPhoenix. :D
Reviewing with a fiery passion.




lelu says...


Thanks for your lovely review! Question: do you agree that I could let out half of it, or that other people could? Clarification: I express all of it, not just half. Other people only express half. I'm okay with them doing this, though it does make things confusing.





To be honest when I'm mad I let it all out, because it's not good that you keep all that anger in, because it all builds up in the end, and when you let it all out, it's worse when what it would have been if you let it all out in the first place. So I'm saying you should let it all out.



lelu says...


I do. But I try not to hurt anyone.





Yeah that's always a good thing.




Very well; I hear; I admit, but I have a voice too, and for good or evil mine is the speech that cannot be silenced.
— Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness