• Home

Young Writers Society

16+ Violence

The Prime Control Chapter 2 Part 2: The Demon and the Names

by keeperofgaming

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.

“So, I can’t do water or wind.”

Me and Taury were minorly disappointed that I could only do two elements.

“Yeah, it would have been cool if you did all four.”

“Hey, out of curiosity, what’s your magic?”


“What does that entail?”

“Basically, I can become light itself at the highest level, which allows me to move faster than Roman by a long shot. It’s the greatest attack move out there.”

“Huh, what’s a regular high-level thing you can do?”

“Emit pixie dust.”

“What, so others can fly?”

She looked at me with a raised brow.

“Pixie dust is a massive luminescent material, I use it as a flash bang, where’d you get flying from?”

“You’ve clearly never read Peter Pan.”

“Apparently. Why are you asking about my magic, we should be concerned with y- … WHAT?!”

“I think I figured it out.”

Pixie dust was dripping from my body, it looked like glowing glitter.

“Figured what out, William?”

I gave a smug grin.

“I can use the magic of anyone I control.”

She smiled.

“Well, now we can tell Morgan that you have three aptitudes. It will terrify her, since now we know that her magic isn’t sustaining you.”

“Why don’t we keep it to fire?”


“While concerning Morgan would be fun, I guarantee that it wouldn’t turn out well in the long run. If she thinks I’m stuck with only fire, then she’ll be concerned, but nowhere near as concerned as she would be with three.”


“Remember, the more concerned she is, the more surveillance will be on us, and the more likely they find out about Roman.”

She sighed.

“I suppose.”

“Well, I’m gonna cook.”

Taury popped up.

“Could I help?”

“You could try.”

Of course, she wasn’t that helpful.

She tried chopping, but the knife was too unwieldy for her and she nearly cut her leg off.

Then I got her to stir the broth, but instead she decided to trip and fall into the broth.

Then I made her a delivery person, moving ingredients where we needed them, but she managed to fail even at that, dropping a spice jar, shattering it.

Then she cut herself cleaning it up.

“Okay, let me try som- GRK.”

I grabbed her quite hard.

“Hey, what are you doing?”

I opened a jar and poked holes in the top with scissors before putting her in and closing it.

“Hey, let me out of here.”

“You are staying in there until dinner is ready.”

“How rude, you can’t keep me in here!!!”

I started humming to ignore her as I cleaned up the glass and the spice, then I smoothly began to make the soup.

At one point she stopped complaining and started watching me.

I thinly sliced the zucchini and chopped it before adding it to the pot.

Crumbling the sausage, I added it, allowing it to meld.

Then I tossed in Italian seasoning and some extra broth.

After that, I stirred and added in some bacon bits, then some cheese on top of that.

Then I reached into the spice cabinet and snatched the small jar of red pepper, which I sprinkled lightly, stirring all the while.

Cooking it, I simmered it until the broth receded and used a soup serving spoon to fill up two bowls, then I opened the jar that Taurael was in.


She nodded as she was drooling.

“Yeah, that looks good.”

We dug in.

“This is so good.”

“Zuppa Toscana, a nice meal.”

“Agreed, its good even with the dirt productions.”

“Oddly enough, it is better than it usually is.”

“Probably because I fell in.”

I blinked.

“Why would that make it better?”

“A pixie’s pixie dust is quite taste enhancing, and we naturally produce it.”

Then she looked at me and saw my smile.

“… No.”

“Come on…”

“No, I am not being a pixie dust shaker.”

“Come onnnnnnnnnnnn…”


I reached out.

“Gahk hehe.”

I playfully chased her we laughed and joked throughout the night.


Y’know, you’d think sharing a flat with a magical pixie would be incredible and you’d have amazing dreams…


“But instead, I have this snorer.”

Of course, I couldn’t move either.

She fell asleep on my chest.

But goodness if I didn’t want to through her across the ro-



I just need to fall asleep.

I put my hand on my chest, then the snoring suddenly stopped. I looked down and realized that I accidentally blanketed her with my hand, but she wasn’t awake, no, in fact, she was sleeping very soundly.

It was at that moment that the exhaustion from my magic use caught up and I passed out.


“Little Licky… I see you. I hear you. Come and play.”

“Who are you?”

“You know who I am.”

“I know you are a demon.”

It seemed to be annoyed by that description.

“A demon… what those things call us? Please, they simply call us that as they can’t understand the grace to which we exist.”

“Then what are you?”

“That is for you to discover, Little Licky.”

“Why did you try to kill me?”

It belted out a laugh.

“Please, if I wished for you to be dead, then I would have killed you when you spoke to Taurael first.”

I stiffened.

“How do you know her name?”

“Oh please. I know much more than a pixies name. I know all of their names; do you know how easy it would be for me to simply speak out and control the pixie army? Malkek, Taurael, and all of their men would be under my control if I wished, but I don’t, so don’t be scared.”

“What else do you know?”

It smiled.

“I know you.”

Then I snapped awake, skin slick with sweat.

“Huah? Earthquake?”


I accidentally launched poor Taury. I barely caught her before she slammed into the ground.


Of course, maybe I should have just let her hit the ground.

I laid her down on my pillow as I sat up, rubbing my neck.

I popped it and stood up, checking my watch, I saw that it was only three in the morning.

I walked up to my laptop and opened it.

“That dream was crazy…”

“What dream?”

I spun around to see Taury rubbing her neck too, fluttering without much thought.

“It was a nightmare about the demon…”

“Oh, that sounds bad, what, did it impale you again?”

“No… it just talked.”

“How is that a bad dream?”

“I don’t think it’s just a dream…”


“Because… it felt real… too real.”

“Weird, got any info from it *yawn*.”

“He knows your name.”

That snapped her attention.


“That’s what he said, he knows your name, your brother’s name, and every other pixie name.”

“Yeah… that would have to be a dream.”

Then a name popped in my head. I shivered. It had to be a message of some kind.

“Who’s Lallakno?”

“D-did that come from your dream?”

“… no… it just popped in my head. Why?”

“Because that’s the name of my father.”



“Lady Lefaye is asleep! Come back later.”


Taury shouted.

“He’s right, it’s urgent.”

The guard sighed.

“Let me get her.”

He was gone for a moment then the trees surrounding us shivered before bending to open her palace.

“She is certainly powerful.”

“As I said, her and Roman are simply forces.”

We entered and I saw Morgan sitting on her throne wearing sleep robes. She had an absolutely ticked off face.

“So, what is so dangerous to the pixies that you risk my fury by awakening me during my slumber.”

Taury spoke.

“The demon that attacked William knows the pixies names.”

Morgan sighed.

“Oh, sure, and I bet that William told you after dreaming up an imaginary threat. You do know that humans take what they learn an-”

“Do you seriously think I didn’t consider that?”

All of us gaped at her. Normally, she was petrified of even drawing one of the council’s attentions, now she just full out interrupted one of the most powerful members.

“And what designated your concern?”

“Because dreams can’t tell humans what they don’t know.”

“Depends on if it can be inferred based on what they do know. If that was your reason then ge-“

“Can my father’s name be inferred?”

That caused Morgan to freeze.

“No… with how close a secret it was… no it could not be inferred.”

Then anger seemed to emanate from the forest itself.

“This demon told a human the name of one so dear to us?”

I didn’t see what Taury originally thought, that Morgan could have done it. It seemed like her fury was genuine.

“I need to send word to M… to the Pixie Counciler immediately.”

Everyone in the room understood immediately. Such a case was so severe that Morgan nearly said Malkek’s name.

“William, you and Wings go.”


“As much as I don’t like it, I need to cement my forces to finding this demon before he can use this knowledge.”


“What is it?”

Something had been bothering me.

“Do the demons have some other title?”

She stood for a moment before answering.

“… no, not that I’m aware of.”

I don’t think that even she thought that that was a convincing lie.

But, alas, we had to hurry.

“Ok, how do we get to your home realm.”

“The Nexus Gate.”


“It… you’ll know when you see it.”

We moved quickly, with me following, then we felt Morgan roar.

{Demon, if you dare use your knowledge and violate the memory of the ones close to our hearts, then I will spare no expense, no pain, no life, to rip you to shreds.}

Many of the guards we passed shivered at the infuriated words. But Taury seemed confused. I understood. She was so sure that Morgan killed her parents, that seeing her genuinely angry for their sake was confusing for her.

Then I saw it. It was a small sphere, floating with nothing connecting it. It was… not a sphere at all, it was a square… no, a cylinder… it was all shapes…. My head hurt when I looked at it.

“Before you ask, it’s a 5th dimensional shape.”


“Yeah, tesseracts are confusing to look at.”

“… Aren’t tesseracts 4th dimensional?”

She looked at me like I was an idiot.

“Who told you that? Time is the 4th dimension reflecting movement through space. Tesseracts are of the 5th dimension reflecting movement through both space and time.”

Taury snapped.

“Why are we discussing this now?!”


“It’s okay, just touch the dang thing.”


Then I felt like throwing up. My body was twisted and pulled, then I came to in a strange garden.

I sat up.

“Where are we?”

“The Nexus.”

The voice was a lot bigger and I turned and jumped after seeing Taurael being taller than me.


“Calm down, the Nexus has several unique properties. Enlarging pixies is one of them.”

“Sorry, I just wasn’t expecting you to be… massive.”

She snickered.

“I understand. Lady Maven acted the same when my brother came from the nexus.”

I snickered imagining a panicking wolf girl.

“One unique thing seems to be making you a red head.”

“What? NOO my beautiful black hair!”

My hair was now a crimson instead of it’s typical pitch-black hue.

“You look cool.”

“Uh… thanks.”

We were silent for a second.

“Aaanyways… How do we get to your homeworld?”

“For me, it’s as simple as wanting to go there, for you, you need to sing happy birthday backwards.”

“Are you kidding?”

“Not at all. My brother hasn’t granted you access to his tesseract, so you need to use the password.”

“Who do I do it to?”

“Skip the name.”

“Alright. Words or all letters reversed.”


“Great… you sure you aren’t messing around?”

“Nope, no tricks.”


I sighed.

“...uoy ot yadhtrib yppah ...raed yadhtrib yppah ...uoy ot yadhtrib yppah ...uoy ot yadhtrib yppaH”

Welp… I certainly wasn’t in the Nexus anymore.

I was instead in a forest, a tesseract above me. I sat up and saw that I was on marble flooring, in front of me, two pixies had spears angled at me.

Despite their size, they were frightening.

“Calm down, you two.”

The duo narrowed their eyes upon hearing Taury’s voice. I looked and saw that she was small again.


“Not the time, we need to speak to my brother.”

“Why, so you can murder him too?”

“No, Morgan sent us.”

“Yeah, sure, Morgan knows not to send you for things since the king said he’ll kill you if you fly in these woods again.”

“And yet I couldn’t get here without her permission as she knows my name.”

The guards somewhat faltered.

“Fine, but as for you and your pet. Don’t move an inch. I’ll get the king.”

“Sure, why not?”

The guards left and I sat on the marbled floor.

It was a beautiful forest. Purple leaves fell from the trees, as the scent of lilac and pie wafted through the air.

I looked at Taury and saw her glowing. It was like the forest itself welcomed her.

Leaves spiraled around her and she smiled. A pattern now glowing on her wings.

Then it dawned on me for the first time that she was a princess. Not just some random pixie.

Then Malkek came, unlike Pixie, he had no glow, and the forest didn’t react to him. He glared at Taury and me.

“Alright, you have exactly five seconds before I order my men to kill you where you stand.”

Is this a review?



User avatar
1151 Reviews

Points: 198
Reviews: 1151

Sat Apr 27, 2024 10:09 pm
View Likes
vampricone6783 wrote a review...

Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

Shalt we commence with the spooky S’more?

Top Graham Cracker - Another demon waits to attack, William and Taurael are in danger! But perhaps it can be stopped!

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - This is fine, I like this chapter!

Chocolate Bar - I love how the tesseract changes their appearance, that’s a unique detail to add. Also William’s reaction to Taurael and his hair was hilarious!

Closing Graham Cracker - William and Taurael have passed through the tesseract, Morgan may be able to help…or not.

I’ll be sure to review them chronologically next time.

I wish you a lovely day/night!

User avatar
369 Reviews

Points: 75415
Reviews: 369

Sun Apr 07, 2024 4:41 pm
View Likes
RavenAkuma wrote a review...

Hello Again, My Friend!

It's me, Raven, and I'd like to review the next chapter in this great story using my Familiar method! Let's dive in, shall we? Heh heh heh...

What The Black Eyes See...

This chapter was so exciting! The first part gave us more humor to lighten the mood, before leading into that ominous dream with the demon. Tensions rose upon confronting Morgan, simmered down when you showed us such a cool and pretty environment, then shot right back up with that ending. Quite the rollercoaster! Let's get into the details though.

Where The Dagger Points...

I don't have recommendations to make here! Good writing job ~

Why The Grin Widened...

So first of all, the continued exploration of magic, and more specific abilities between William and Taury, was very cool. Especially since we haven't gotten many specifics on Taury's magic yet. All three of the major abilities explained here popped out and have me theorizing about how and where they may be used in this world:

“Basically, I can become light itself at the highest level, which allows me to move faster than Roman by a long shot. It’s the greatest attack move out there.”

Super speed that sounds like it can be weaponized -awesome.

“Pixie dust is a massive luminescent material, I use it as a flash bang, where’d you get flying from?”

Flashbang dust like a military Tinkerbell (lol), also awesome.

“I can use the magic of anyone I control.”

And THAT is incredible! Dang, with two tough elements and mind control as well, William sounds more and more like a formidable foe. Just like the last couple of chapters, I also very much appreciated the touch of humor. Taury failing to cook, getting put in a time-out jar, and of course...

“No, I am not being a pixie dust shaker.”

This mental image had me chuckling to myself ~

Moving on to the darker element of this chapter, you made the demon sound so freaking cool, and like he could be a way more serious threat than originally anticipated! I mean, this:

“Oh please. I know much more than a [pixie's] name. I know all of their names; do you know how easy it would be for me to simply speak out and control the pixie army? Malkek, Taurael, and all of their men would be under my control if I wished, but I don’t, so don’t be scared.”

This sounds so freaking ominous and cool! However, there's also a sense of wisdom, showing us it's not just a mindless monster focused on bloodlust -and while that means they can be reasoned with (maybe), it usually means they're even more dangerous. And his motive sounds like such a mystery as well. Such cool characterization ~

(Right now, I'm theorizing that the demon may weaponize William's doubt and mistrust in Morgan, and other members of her inner circle, to coerce him into bad business. Exactly what type of bad business...I don't know yet, still working on it, haha.)

Finally, big props for environment! You had a lot of unique elements, great visual notes, and even some sensory notes that made the fey's region seem more magical and involved:

He was gone for a moment then the trees surrounding us shivered before bending to open her palace.

“Before you ask, it’s a 5th dimensional shape.”

It was a beautiful forest. Purple leaves fell from the trees, as the scent of lilac and pie wafted through the air.

Great work there! Awesome!

Our Mad Thoughts...

Overall, this was great! Nicely done! :D


keeperofgaming says...

Thank you for the review. I always love reading them.

akdsjfh you know that feeling where you start writing a scene but then you get bored with the scene so you move on and start writing a different scene and then you get bored with that scene so you move on to an entirely different WIP and then you get bored with that so you move on-
— AceassinOfTheMoon