Cover art for That Prime Control Chapter 18: Zeus and the Demon

That Prime Control Chapter 18: Zeus and the Demon

by keeperofgaming

Published July 22, 2024

16+ Violence

In The Prime Control

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.

It was the day of the concert. Aoi insisted I go, so I was sitting in the auditorium next to her as she was gushing.

“I’m about to see him in person. Daniel in PERSON! William, this is so exciting!”

“I’m at the edge of my seat…”

“Oh, don’t be so sour. It’ll be fun.”

It didn’t help that Grace and Cherry were also excited.

“I’m so happy I got my mom to ask him over.”

Oh… it was you.

I was sitting there irritated, then I felt a massive presence.

“He’s coming!”

Then the man stepped out.

“Hello everyone! How are you doing tonight?!”

All the girls cheered and whooped.

He stepped up and was letting the crowd whoop as a drummer and a guitarist stepped out.

Daniel himself had blond hair and tanned skin, he had an open jacket on, and no undershirt, exposing his abs to the room, not that the girls minded. His eyes were a golden hue.

The drummer had long black hair, and lapiz blue eyes. He had what looked like a rain coat on.

The guitarist had tied brown hair, her face had makeup on, and she was wearing a t-shirt and shorts. Her eyes were a bluey-grey.

Taury was in her big form, because I told her that she wasn’t attending without a ticket.

She rolled her eyes.

“Oh dear.”

“What?”

“Well, we found him.”

“He’s Zeus?”

“Yep… can’t believe you were right. Though, the surprising part…”

She pointed to the drummer.

“That’s Poseidon, and Hera seems to be the guitarist.”

“Wow… so… they’re just here?”

“Yep.”

No one was listening to us, but Zeus began to sing, and he wasn’t actually bad. Poseidon was carrying the show heavily with his drumming, and Hera was a pretty good guitarist.

Though, as I examined them, I realized the slight errors in their disguises. Slight bits of water on Poseidon’s arms, a bit of light shining through Zeus’s eyes. Only Hera had a perfect disguise, but I could feel a shift of the air every time she strummed the guitar.

The atronachs gave a good show and it was minorly enjoyable, but then it ended.

Aoi was gushing so hard as we left.

“Oh, I wished that he looked at me. He was as dreamy as I thought he’d be!”

Grace didn’t even seem to realize that he was an atronach as she was also gushing. Cherry right along with her.

“He’s hot.”

“Think the guitarist is his girlfriend?”

“Impossible.”

“Agreed.”

Brent sighed.

“It’s quite probable, since they seemed very close.”

“Nah.”

Then a man walked on our path. The girls began shaking.

“I-it’s him!”

But he had no interest in them. He walked straight up to Taury. Grabbing her hand with a smile.

“Hello, Athena, it was certainly a pleasure to see you at my concert.”

Everyone but me blinked.

“Get out of my way, Zeus.”

“Ah, so rude, just as I remember. My favorite child at it again.”

“Just because I wouldn’t sleep with you doesn’t mean I saw you as a father.”

He laughed, giving a look over Taury that made me want to sock him.

“Hah, you always say such playful things. The offer is always open for you, you know.”

Then she sneered.

“And the answer is always no.”

“Hah, we’ll see.”

Then he noticed Aoi, who was halfway between utter shock and gushing.

“Why, hello there beautiful.”

I stepped in front of him.

“Awe, thanks for the compliment.”

His smile lightly faded.

“And you are.”

“Friend of Athena.”

He grimaced.

“Goodness, Athena, you really like surrounding yourself with hideous people like him?”

Aoi blinked.

“Out of my way, human.”

He shoved me, causing me to stumble.

“Hello the-“

Don’t insult William again, you prideful ****.”

“YIKES!”

The atronach stepped back.

“Wow, that was possibly the fastest loss of attraction I’ve ever seen, good job, Zeus. You made a new record.”

“Oh, shut it, Athena. It’s temporary.”

Poseidon stepped out.

“Come on, Zeus, you can’t flirt with every girl you see. Hera will eventually just go back to killing them.”

“And why not? I am the king of gods. I can do what I want.”

“Tell that to Athena.”

“She will come around, whether she likes it or not.”

Taury showed visible disgust, as did everyone in the group, but me…

I showed anger.

What?

He rolled his eyes.

“What? Does the little human have a problem?

Poseidon took a step back as my anger got purer, but Zeus kept that darn smirk.

Don’t touch her.

“Please, I’m not scared of you.”

I glared at him, but his expression didn’t break, in fact, he seemed almost amused by my anger.

Then he laughed.

“Let me guess, you have a little crush on her, so you want to white knight to impress her. Well, boy, let me tell you something. I’ve made claim to her, and I don’t let what’s mine be taken, and she’ll never reciprocate your pathetic fe-“

“Incorrect as always, Zeus.”

He blinked, and Poseidon gaped at Taury who now smirked.

“Because, the thing is, me and him are even together.”

“What?”

He began shaking. It was like he never thought that someone who would reject him could like someone else. As both Roman and Taury said, he was the model scumbag.

So, I snickered.

“What, did you actually think she liked you?”

He shook more and looked at me, his smirk replaced with a ticked off expression.

“You… little brat.”

He grabbed me by the neck and slammed me against a wall, leaving a crater.

“You took what is mine. No one does that!”

“Wow, possessive, aren’t you. You can’t even handle the idea that someone doesn’t like you, how pathetic.”

At this point, Poseidon was frantically gesturing at me to stop, and Taury was giving a massive grin.

Then he punched at me with a speed that I’ve only seen Taury reach.

And first, I launched him up a few feet.

“What?”

He missed entirely and now I was out of his grasp.

He looked at me in shock, then smiled.

“My, did the pretty golem help you? How noble.”

He shot at me, and I tripped him with a root.

“What… what is this? Is Morgan hiding nearby?”

So, I laughed.

“My, you haven’t even figured it out?”

Then I began dripping pixie dust, fire lining up my arms, earth forming into armor reinforced by roots.

“Now… don’t try that again.”

He smiled.

“My, what a unique one. Unfortunately, you ticked me off.”

Then, I felt a fist in my gut.

My magic shattered as I launched into the wall, causing it to crumble.

It was at that moment that some people began to leave.

And they saw the singer standing over me.

I stood up.

“So, you resort to fists when you don’t get what you want? Sad.”

“Shut up!”

He kicked my stomach, making me cough up blood, then my back.

Then from every direction he was hitting me.

He launched me into the air with a kick to the gut, causing me to spit out blood.

I grabbed his foot and twisted him into a wall, smashing his face and cracking his disguise.

But he delivered a kick to my spine, slamming me into the ground.

Then, he dashed and kicked my face, to which I heard a crack as my neck snapped.

Using earth magic, I mended the injury, somewhat surprising him.

“You are a persistent one.”

The yellow light flashed through the cracks on his face. He was smiling as though my fight was comical.

“Do you actually think you could beat me?”

“Mayb-“

I coughed up a blob of blood. Then, I stood again, with a smile on my face.

“Now, I just don’t understand, why would she go for you instead of me?”

“Because I understand something you never will.”

He sneered.

“Oh? And what’s that?”

Then Taury spoke.

“Truth.”

He looked at Taury with an annoyed look.

“You still value that concept?”

He took a step up to her.

“No matter how many times I’ve told you, you’ll never find someone that fits that idea. Arthur was the closest you ever found, and even then, that fool was killed by his own son!”

I stood up and walked behind him as he continued yapping.

“No one understands your little idea, or that little sword’s magic. You claim it’s truth? It’s just fancy light.”

Then Taury smiled.

“Want to know how I know William understands it?”

“Oh? How?”

“He hasn’t given up.”

Then I kicked the king of gods in the back of the head, making him flip.

Hera rushed out as the commotion of the crowd raised.

“Daniel?!”

Then she saw Taury and Poseidon and seemed to figure out what was happening.

“Hello Athena, let me guess, my husband made another grab for you?”

“Yep, and my boyfriend took offense.”

“Oh dear… is he okay?”

“Seems to be holding his own.”

Then Zeus full on tackled me, then, while I was in his grasp, he spun at light speed, already causing my skin to rip, then slammed me into the pavement, causing a shockwave.

“If that didn’t kill him, then my next attack will.”

Then I stood up, and he finally looked shocked.

“I was kidding. How the actual **** are you alive?!”

I ignored him.

“Hera, Poseidon, mind if I learn your attributes to even it a little.”

They raised a brow, and Zeus laughed.

“You can’t just learn attributes but go ahead and try.”

Then the duo with amused looks nodded.

“Wonderful. Control.”

Then the duo’s eyes flashed white and they swayed. Zeus looked curious.

“Say hi.”

““Hi.””

“Wonderful, release.”

Then the duo stopped swaying, and Poseidon looked around.

“What just happened?”

Then I turned to Zeus.

“Want to see what I learned?”

He laughed out loud.

“Wow, how impressive, you could make them say, ‘hi’. How threatening.”

Then I waved my arms and then the sky overcast, and it began raining. Zeus’s smirk fell.

“What?”

Then I smiled.

“Let’s see how the god of lightning handles his own medicine.”

Then I spiraled light and flame into a bolt that I struck Zeus directly with.

But… he only smiled.

“Wow… Incredible.”

Then he shed his disguise entirely, revealing the man of pure light. He rushed forward and kicked me, dodged a bolt, then kicked the wall I summoned.

He rushed so quickly around me that I was surrounded by light on all sides.

I barely dodged a kick, then a punch. Then he hook kicked me into his axe kick which launched me into his uppercut, pushing me into his jab, which launched me into a wall.

I coughed out more blood as he began cackling.

“Wow, just because you surprised me, doesn’t mean you’re going to win, I mean, how weak do you think I am? A little bit of a storm won’t hurt me, but if you insist.”

He raised his hands.

“Face the wrath of the god of thunder and lightning.”

Then a massive bolt struck me, threatening to tear me apart, but I stood, my own light shielding me, and I smiled in defiance as his smirk finally morphed into annoyance.

“Fine, you want me to get serious, then let’s go.”

Light then hit me from four other directions, ripping holes into me.

People began screaming. They didn’t understand what was happening anymore, it shifted from two guys fighting over a girl, to two magical beings brawling.

I smiled and shot forward, light speeding me up, and I managed to punch him with a molten fist.

He was launched back and caught himself before bouncing off of solid light, making him spin quicker and quicker, until he landed a punch on my stomach, piercing through it.

I latched on and turned the hole into fire, searing his wrist. Then he ripped back with a roar and roundhouse kicked me, flipping me into a wall.

“Good job, human, you are the first being other than Gaia herself to actually hurt me.”

His smile turned menacing.

“I suppose you are a threat after all.”

His next blow was to knock off my leg, then my arm.

What was, before, like a torrent, was now like a hurricane.

His smile was terrifying as I finally realized that this was who I challenged. He was playing no more games, no more playing.

He grabbed my throat, then I heard a childish voice.

“Don’t hurt Papa!”

“R-Ruby…”

Zeus stopped and turned, seeing the atronach child. He dropped me and looked at her.

“What is this? What are you?”

He walked over and examined the child who glared at him.

Then he smiled.

“Oh, what an interesting being…”

“Stay away from her Zeus.”

Taury’s voice made his smile even deeper.

“Tell you what, human. I will leave you alone. I will leave Athena alone. On one condition.”

He released his full aura, causing the ground to shudder, and my storm to thunder.

“You give me the child. A fair trade indeed.”

I instantly understood the cruel look on his face, and at that moment… at that moment.

I snapped. I cracked…

Then I heard a shatter.

I stood up, causing Zeus to step back in fear.

“You… want my daughter… you… want that… you…”

My voice was a growl, and I took a step towards the foul atronach.

I leapt forward, and he attempted to dodge, but he was too slow.

I kicked him up into the air. Then I launched up and grabbed his head before smashing him into the ground.

His yelps of pain made me snicker. I grabbed him and slammed him against the wall, again and again.

I could see his blood drip, and I noticed how much magic he had. The feed would empower me greatly.

I kicked him into the sky then impaled him with earth spikes. Then a flash fire spread into every one of his injuries, making him scream in agony.

I used a torrent of wind to slam him into the dirt.

“Little light. What fun to play with. You want to hurt her… to abuse her… I won’t let you.”

I looked at the poor bleeding atronach with pure hatred radiating off of me.

He shot all of his power, pure fear radiating from every movement he made, but I simply used his own element to overwhelm his pitiful beam as I moved towards.

I picked him up, making him yelp, then I slammed him into the wall, causing a cry of pain.

I unsheathed my claws and closed them towards the morsel’s throat.

“Papa! Stop.”

I heard her voice and stopped, then I turned.

“Ruby?”

The last thing I saw was Taurael’s shoe right in front of my eyes, then the world went black.

_

Taurael’s POV

I panted, my eyes barely believing what I just saw.

William was knocked unconscious, the black skin beginning to recede.

I broke my leg with that kick, but it took everything I had to knock him out.

Zeus was panting, his light dimmer, and his aura flickering, mana blood falling from most places on his body.

“Athena, you sa-“

“Shut it before I kill you myself. I saved William, you were an unfortunate side effect.”

William’s skin was nearly entirely black. One of his eyes glowing.

Hera leaned over and spoke.

“Its… not possible.”

Poseidon snapped.

“How did that happen?”

I wasn’t sure if they were more shocked by Zeus’s defeat, or by William’s… transformation.

Then his eye went back to normal, as did the rest of his head.

His skin slowly reverted to it’s normal paleness, but he remained down for the count.

I stood, and I looked at Hera, who was carrying Zeus.

“Take him away, before I finish the job.”

She shivered and grabbed Poseidon’s hand before they fled, dragging that pathetic excuse for an atronach with them.

I picked up William and grabbed Ruby.

“Let’s go home for now, Ruby. Papa needs to rest.”

I looked at Grace who nodded. She recovered the quickest. Even if she was still at a loss for words, she knew that as long as she could keep the thing quiet, that William could hide it upon his awakening.

But I needed to assure they’d stay quiet.

“If… any of you say a word of what happened this day… I will kill you myself.”

I spiraled my power, letting the regular people quiver, then I stretched my wings, but Ruby hopped off.

“Control.”

Then all of the regular people began to sway, their eyes glowing a bright white.

“You will remember nothing of what happened between Papa and Zeus, you will remember that the two got into a fist fight because Zeus was being overly vulgar towards Mama, and Papa won, shutting him up, but he got really hurt.”

The people nodded. Then Ruby popped back into my hands.

“Release.”

I took off before the residual control wore off, and I saw Grace fixing the sidewalk.

“Good job, Ruby.”

“Yeah… I used Papa’s magic.”

“You did. You’re incredible.”

“Will Papa be okay?”

“Do you doubt he will?”

“He… looked like the meanie while fighting Zeus.”

“Yes, he did…”

And that nickname… Little Light… It was almost like he was a second Hunter… but William was far stronger… It was like I was looking at a pure demon… his power level was higher than anything I’d ever seen. But… it only spiked after his transformation.

Could becoming a demon be that much of a power boost? I knew demon stones could empower you temporarily, but… a demon… a demon had it in it until it died. But, that glee… it was unnerving seeing William like that.

I landed at the flat and opened the door with my key. I walked in and laid him down onto his bed.

“Rest.”

He took on Zeus… and won… but what we discovered. I wonder if he’d remember what happened.

Ruby walked over to him and laid next to him, then he smiled and subconsciously wrapped his arm around her.

I smiled and decided to lay on top of him in my regular form.

I looked up and saw his sleeping smiling face and I smiled too.

“I’m happy you’re okay…”

_

I woke up with the nudging of Aoi.

“Everyone else in in the kitchen.”

I yawned and fluttered up before flying groggily towards the kitchen.

I saw Grace, Brent, and Amy. Each of them having serious expressions.

“Is he okay?”

“Yeah, he’s good.”

I landed on the table.

“From the looks of it, he should wake up by tomorrow.”

“That’s good.”

Grace looked at me.

“I think we all know what happened, for a short time… William became a demon.”

I sighed.

“Yeah… it definitely looked that way.”

Brent looked irritated.

“So… we now know that the emotion theory was correct, but what was it?”

I looked at him.

“Hatred.”

“What?”

“William felt pure hatred and wanted nothing more than to simply kill him in that moment.”

“I… see… how do you know?”

“Because I felt the same… If William didn’t start turning, I think I would have instead.”

“I… see…”

All four people shuddered, imagining me as a demon.

Aoi asked a good question.

“How… was he so powerful?”

I shook my head.

“I don’t know, but from the looks of it, he was able to overwhelm Zeus with both magic and physical. That means that he was far stronger than him in that moment.”

“Think he will still be that strong.”

I shook my head.

“I think it’s something that happens only as a demon, that… massive boost of strength.”

Then Grace thought for a moment.

“Could the Hunter had been a moderately strong fire user that was demonized?”

I nodded.

“I thought of that as well, it seems likely…”

Then Brent grimaced…

“He sounded so similar to him too. It was like looking at a supercharged Hunter.”

I nodded.

“I got that feeling when looking at him too.”

Grace looked at me.

“How did you even beat him?”

“Pure surprise.”

My leg, while mostly healed already, still hurt like it was being incinerated in hell fire.

“My leg broke too. It was like his head was a massive metal ball.”

Amy looked at me with concern.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, my bones heal incredibly quickly, it just needs to rest a bit more.”

She sighed in relief.

Then I shushed everyone, I felt a presence. An annoyingly familiar one.

“Hello Morgan.”

“Ah, Wings. Fancy seeing you here, I want answers.”

“About what?”

“What was that massive aura? It caused my entire forest to shake. Has a powerful demon entered this realm?!”

“It tried, but me and William stopped it, he’s currently resting.”

“I see, and why was Zeus there.”

“He was having a concert. He was, however, no help, in fact, he was indirectly responsible for the demon’s appearance.”

She sighed.

“As typical for that accursed atronach.”

Then she looked at the company.

“Well, I expect a full report upon his awakening.”

“Got it.”

Then she looked at Grace and smiled.

“Grace, I know that you probably are able to use William’s Tesseract to meet with Roman, but feel free to visit if you want.”

Then she sunk back into the roots ingrained in the wall. I waited for her aura to fade then spoke again.

“She is irritating as all get out.”

I sighed deeply.

Grace began mimicking her.

“’Feel free to visit.’ As if we’re friends.”

I sighed. Morgan could be irritating. Her pride held no bounds, but she was at least better than Zeus…

“What possessed him to go that far?”

They looked at me. Grace raising a brow.

“What do you mean?”

I sighed.

“Well, Zeus is a scumbag, no doubt, but he almost seemed like someone gave him sixty level points in scumbaggery since I last saw him.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, he usually doesn’t give a second look at children, but then, he flat out wanted to buy Ruby.”

“Yeah… Roman really undersold him as a scumbag.”

“But… that’s beyond how he usually acted.”

“Do you think something happened?”

I nodded.

“I’m going to seek out Hera, see if anything could have happened to increase his jerkiness.”

“Good idea.”

I flapped my wings and began to fly.

As I fluttered out the window, I was thinking on what it meant that William, although temporary, became a demon.

No one has seen a demon form… maybe because usually the demon kills everyone in the vicinity the moment of formation…

I sighed as I flew in the sky. Normally, I’d enjoy such a flight, but given the previous events of the night, my mind was filled with worry and curiosity. I was definitely surprised by Ruby’s power; she instantly was able to control everyone there. I could only imagine how much stronger she would get as she grew up.

But William… he wasn’t really hurt by the situation, but he was definitely fatigued. But, knowing him, he’ll be more concerned about my leg the moment he gets up. I swear, his selflessness is going to get him killed.

But… that transformation was terrifying. He simply stood up… with pitch black limbs where his old ones were cut off. And… that smile… It was like looking at pure wickedness. How could someone so kind become that cruel in an instant. If me and Ruby didn’t stop him… I shuddered considering the possibility.

Though… the amount of power he gained… he went from being demolished to faster than that old man he calls Gramps… I’d have to ask him after William wakes up if he can give any ideas.

Then I noticed it, Hera was nearby, along with Poseidon. I landed in front of them, making them both jump.

“What do you want, Athena?”

I looked at Hera.

“I want to know what happened.”

“Your demo-“

“Not that.”

Poseidon stepped in front of Hera with a look, warning her to stay back.

“Alright, shoot, what is it you are wanting to know about.”

I looked at him.

“Zeus is a twit, we all know it, but he wasn’t that bad last I saw him. I expected the flirting and threats towards me, but why did he go after Ruby.”

Poseidon sighed.

“That would be an atronach thing. That child was incredibly powerful. Her simple stepping made me shiver, Zeus recognized that and wanted to purchase her so he could develop her power until her maturing… then yeah…”

“I see, so he was being greedy and a creep.”

“Yes. I plan to scold him very severely.”

“Do so, if he tries that again… then I’ll be the one butchering him.”

I gave a look that made the two atronachs shiver. They recognized that I was far stronger now than I was as Athena of Greece.

I took off and decided to grab some food to cook for William when he wakes up.

“Pizza? Yeah, that sounds good.”

I had a bit of money as William gave me some occasionally.

I landed at the convenience store and hid my wings before heading in.

I saw the employee that William said was a good guy, he was always here.

I went into the aisle and grabbed the pizza, then I got to the counter and bought the pizza.

Heading out, I flew back to the flat, everyone but Aoi left at that point.

I placed the pizza in the fridge and walked into the room to find Aoi laying next to William, her face stained with tears.

I moved the blanket over her and returned to my regular form.

I changed into my sleepwear and laid down on his stomach.

I looked up, my eyelids beginning to flutter with exhaustion. He smiled, his obsidian hair having almost a red glow… I looked at his arm and saw that it had black markings on it. I sighed and scooted up, putting my head above his heart. The light beating made me groggy, my feathered wing blanketing my body.

I sighed one last time, my worries fading along with it. Then, I waited for the darkness of sleep to take me.

Comments & reviews · 2
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Ravena
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Ravena wrote a review Review · Aug 14, 2024

Hello Again, My Friend!

*just a heads up, I'm experimenting with a slightly new review tactic, I encourage you to let me know if it's to your liking. If not I'll go back to the usual, slightly more chaotic version lol ^^*

It's me, Raven, and I'd like to review the next chapter in this great story using my Familiar method! Let's dive in, shall we? Heh heh heh...

What The Black Eyes See...

Oh wow, so Zeus really was the pop star that Aoi was fawning over! I don't know if I was expecting it because of that clue or wanting to believe it was too obvious, but either way, it worked well! The fight was incredible, and the shocking twist as William starts to turn into a demon?? What?!?! The speculation afterward made it even better too! Let's get into the details though.

Where The Dagger Points...

I didn't really find anything to put here this time! Good writing job ~

Why The Grin Widened...

Plot and Pacing: This is one thing I never really have to complain about in any of your work XD You nailed this! The pacing is nice; things progress fast and keep things interesting, but not so fast that we lose track of anything or start to feel lost. I especially like the balance of action and dialogue. As I would guess is the angle you're going for, it all feels like an action-packed anime or manga series that I would binge-watch XD

Descriptions and Setting: No complaints! You did a great job introducing the gods especially, and portraying that "rocker" vibe in their performance. Better yet, the grizzly details amid the fight, as well as the more otherwordly ones like William's *literal* demonization and the sort of "cracks" in the atronachs' disguises. Cool!

Action: AWESOME! The fight was great! The moves, the magic; all of that was great, and as with the Hunter, I love seeing how much William struggled here, to prove how formidable of an opponent Zeus is!

Characterization: Good! Everything felt consistent with what we know about the characters, from William being defensive with Taury and his friends, to Ruby just being a lovable little addition to the team -and Zeus, confirmed, even worse than I thought he'd be XD

While a concerning twist for obvious reasons, I loved seeing how far William was driven to protect Ruby, and seeing the drastic measures Taury took to stop him from becoming a full demon. All of it showed how close they've grown, and Taury's remark about William's selflessness getting him in trouble reflected that SO well; it's been like the driving force in all his most violent actions thus far, and even hearing it now, you just wonder if Taury's right and it will lead him into a level of trouble he won't be able to recover from. And the way the chapter ended with them was so adorable ~

As for Zeus, Poseidon, and Hera, good gods (no pun intended)...Hera and Poseidon just seem like they're completely over Zeus's s*** at this point XD And Zeus, agh! What a scumbag! I can see, in terms of power, how he'd be a useful asset against demons, but at the same time...is it worth putting up with THAT??

Grammar and Spelling: I didn't really catch anything here! Good job!

Reactions and Theories!: Oh man, it's strange; I feel like I have so many theories, but I can't really flesh them out. The main one I'm stuck on is the hunter's identity and how what we saw with William might link into it; it seems more and more clear that the Hunter was once a fey, maybe even human, but there has to be more right?? Especially with the introduction of new mythologies, that expand upon the ideas; it could be someone Arthurian, someone Grecian, someone Nordic; who knows?? Very curious... >.>

Though, as I examined them, I realized the slight errors in their disguises. Slight bits of water on Poseidon’s arms, a bit of light shining through Zeus’s eyes. Only Hera had a perfect disguise, but I could feel a shift of the air every time she strummed the guitar.


I had to bring this up again because it was one of my favorite descriptions, alongside the "cracks" of light in Zeus during the fight. It's just so cool to imagine!

I unsheathed my claws and closed them towards the morsel’s throat.

“Papa! Stop.”

I heard her voice and stopped, then I turned.

“Ruby?”

The last thing I saw was Taurael’s shoe right in front of my eyes, then the world went black.


This was such a turning point in the fight; you would expect a classic rage-induced beatdown and one party storms off in defeat, but first you kinda feel something off because -well- when did William get claws?? Then Ruby's calls make it a little more concerning, and finally, Taury going as far as to knock him out...it was such a radical sequence you just have to ask "what just happened?!"

“You will remember nothing of what happened between Papa and Zeus, you will remember that the two got into a fist fight because Zeus was being overly vulgar towards Mama, and Papa won, shutting him up, but he got really hurt.”

The people nodded. Then Ruby popped back into my hands.


Woah!! Ruby really did get William's magic, and she seamlessly controlled a whole crowd! She really is a powerful little entity, which makes me wonder if that will make her a target too. Considering William's very defensive nature, and what Taury said about his selflessness, that seems spells an equal (if not greater) amount of trouble for William...

“William felt pure hatred and wanted nothing more than to simply kill him in that moment.”


Another very interesting clue, in trying to determine where demons -and the Hunter especially- come from. I was also intrigued by just how similar William and the Hunter acted in their demonic states. I am so curious how much of this is a clue, and how much is a red herring...

Our Mad Thoughts...

Overall, this chapter was awesome! Nicely done! :D

Image

Love the new style, and thanks for the review

Ravena replied · Aug 14, 2024

Glad it works! And no problem! :D

creeperfeverdreams wrote a review Review · Jul 23, 2024

Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

Shalt we commence with the mutated S’more?

Top Graham Cracker - William and the others find Zeus, Zeus tries to pursue Taury and then Ruby (ugh), but William unleashes a demon form and very nearly kills Zeus. The others are uncertain as to what that would entail for William.

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - I think that you meant to put in a question mark for when Morgan asks Taury and the others why Zeus was there, but that’s just one little thing.

Chocolate Bar - Even though William became a demon, the reason he became a demon is sweet. He wanted to protect Ruby, and Zeus got what was deserved! I’m excited to see more on William’s demon form, I can’t wait to see how it came along.

Closing Graham Cracker - William briefly became a demon, but what does that mean for everyone else? What does that mean for him? Will he be able to control it? I think that he will, but only time will tell.

I wish you an amazing day/night! ^v^



This is the way the world ends, not with a bang but a whimper.
— T.S. Eliot