Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.
We rushed towards the college and heard some screaming.
“Grace.”
“Got it.”
“Taury.”
“Understood.”
Brent and Amy stood back, and Aoi retrieved her fan weapon.
Me and Taury raised our hands and called upon fire, while Grace started summoning dirt to squelch the fire.
We opened the entrance and numerous students flooded out.
Then I saw Adeline.
“What happened here?!”
She coughed viciously.
“We don’t know, but Cherry heard a child, so she’s even deeper in.”
“Alright, Wings, Grace, keep stopping the fire, I’m going in!”
“Understood.”
Numerous students looked at us in confusion, then Grace began moving dirt towards it and they realized that now was not the right time to ask questions.
I rushed in and bent the fire around me.
I was getting minor burns, but I would live.
Then I heard a kid’s laughter.
I rushed towards it and saw Cherry, a massive metal beam pinning her.
“CHERRY!”
“I’m fine, it’s not hot.”
“Still.”
I picked it up, but Cherry didn’t get up, upon analyzing her with earth magic, I realized why.
“Your back is broken.”
“Really? Crap.”
“Here, I’ll hold you.”
I picked her up and rushed again towards the laughter.
Then, as we entered the auditorium, the roof collapsed.
“Sorry.”
“What?”
I dropped her causing her to yelp, then I used a massive amount of earth magic to hold up the ceiling.
“H-how are you-“
“Not the time.”
“Got it.”
I picked her back up and continued moving to the childish laughter, then I froze.
“The **** is that?”
It was an atronach. A flame atronach… no… it was different from flame… what was it?
It was a female atronach too, but really small and childlike.
“Papa?”
“Um… what?”
“Papa!”
It hugged me, deep frying my legs, so I winced and cast fire armor over my arm and picked up the child.
“Alright, I think I found what caused the fire.”
“What is it, William?”
“It’s an atronach, I’ll explain later.”
“Papa! Liftees HEHE!”
“Should we really be taking it with us?”
“Well, she doesn’t seem to realize what she’s doing, so yeah.”
“Um, okay?”
I walked back through the auditorium, when the balancing of my magic snapped and the ceiling began to collapse.
I dashed then, causing Cherry to yelp and the kid to whoop and giggle.
I found the entrance.
“GRACE OPEN IT NOW!”
“Got it!”
I felt her magic snap and the door raised, but I saw her struggling deeply, so I slid out as fast as I could.
I sighed and put both Cherry and the kid down.
Then I looked and realized why Grace was tired.
Half of the college was put out by dirt.
“Need help?”
“A bit.”
The child giggled and clapped and a few students backed up from the strange sight.
Aoi saw the kid and draped her jacket around her, since… well, she didn’t have much on, surprisingly, it didn’t burn, then I remembered that her jacket was silicone.
I reached out my hand and called upon fire, drawing what remained to me.
The fire spiraled around, steadily entering me and refilling my mana.
Then it ended and I sighed.
“Yeesh, that was a lot of fire.”
Then a student snapped.
“That’s cool and all, but what the **** is that thing?!”
Grace looked and raised a brow.
“What are you little one?”
I looked at Grace.
“Well crap, I was hoping you’d know.”
“No, it somewhat resembles a flame atronach, but… no it’s not.”
She approached the child, apparently trying to get marked to make the kid docile.
“Papa, can I melt the ugly rock?”
Grace took a step back at the threat.
“Uh… no?”
Grace and a few others looked at me.
“Why does it call you papa?”
“I don’t know.”
Then the atronach giggled.
“Because papa is my papa!”
Grace looked at me with a raised brow.
“How did you mark an infantile? Only other atronachs should be able to.”
The class was looking at Grace like she suddenly started speaking in tongues.
“Does it look like I know?”
“No.”
We looked at the kid.
“What?”
“No… no mark. Papa just papa. Just like Mama is mama.”
She pointed at Taury, who was now visible apparently. She flushed and flinched.
“Eh?!”
I also flushed and looked at the kid.
“Alright, please explain.”
“You combined power and merged, going whoosh, then I came out!”
Me and Taury got an even deeper flush. Some students began looking at us with more confused looks.
“Um… please explain simpler?”
The kid giggled.
“Papa dumb, okay.”
Grace snickered.
“Papa and Mama fight bad shadow, then you go fire and Mama go light, then it merge and woosh, I form!”
I dawned in understanding.
“OH, you formed at the facility during the blast?!”
“Yeah, Papa not dumb then.”
Grace raised a brow.
“Hold it. Hold it. A blast of magic shouldn’t be able to make an atronach, it has to be a shaking combined with a storm.”
Then Taury realized.
“Wait, didn’t his scream after it cause an earthquake?”
Grace looked shocked.
“You’re right… so… what kind of atronach are you?”
The kid snickered.
“I do flame and light.”
Then she half and halfed herself revealing pure light on one side, and pure flame on the other, then it mixed again.
“See?”
Grace thought for a moment.
“So… why don’t you mark?”
“Because I got Papa and Mama. Why mark?”
“Fair enough.”
“G-Grace? What’s going on?”
Cherry was leaning against a rock.
“Oh crap, what happened to you?!”
Grace ran over to her friend and checked.
“Crap, your back… it’s shattered.”
“Yeah, William said the same thing, guess my fighting days are over.”
I walked over.
“Not quite.”
I looked at Cherry.
“Grace, could you turn her around?”
“Why?”
“I’m going to heal her back.”
The class looked at me confused, then the atronach smiled.
“Papa using body magic again!”
“Body magic?”
I looked at her.
“That what I call your limb making, but you bone making!”
“That’s… actually an awesome name for it!”
The class looked at me confused, so I looked at all the dirt and realized that there was enough calcium.
I reached out and tapped Cherry’s back, causing her to flinch. Then, all the dirt surrounding the college lifted and separated the calcium.
It flew into my open hand and seeped through me, shaping as it passed through me into Cherry. Then, after analyzing one of her vertebrae, I formed the calcium to mimic it until her spine was reformed, then I removed the shards.
“Woah… What’s happening?”
Grace smiled.
“The same thing that he did to give himself an arm and a leg.”
I smiled.
“This is actually a lot easier.”
Then I reached out and summoned both fire and light before merging them into a single spark, then I laid it on Cherry’s back, causing her to flinch.
“And done, try moving, but not too much, I just mended your spine, you still have other injuries.”
She stood up shakely and looked at me in awe.
“Papa incredible!”
The kid giggled.
I walked over to her.
“Okay, so… what’s your name?”
“Name? No name yet. Papa and Mama needs to name me.”
“Um… okay?”
Then Taury looked at me.
“We should do it in private, we don’t know if she’ll be bound by name, she is made by a pixie’s light after all.”
I nodded.
“Okay.”
Then a few classmates began to shake.
“Wait, so magic is real? We need to tell people!”
I stood and smiled.
“Sorry, but you all aren’t telling anyone.”
Then a kid, Ethan I think his name was, smirked.
“Oh, and how do you plan to stop us?”
“Control.”
Thus, I removed the memories of all fey from most students.
_
{The cause of the fire at the college is still unknown, but sources say that it may be whatever has been causing the recent disappearances.}
I sat down at my table, Cherry sitting across from me.
“So, why do I still have my memories? It’s not like you couldn’t take them.”
“Tea?”
“No, answers!”
“So, do you want tea or not?”
She gave a look of confusion, so Grace whispered.
“Take the tea, he won’t say anything until you take it.”
She grimaced.
“Fine, I’ll have your stupid tea.”
“Wonderful.”
Then Brent sighed.
“I also would like to know why she kept her memories.”
Then Cherry snapped.
“And I still want to know what the **** that thing is.”
The kid was giggling and playing with Aoi who used her body suit to prevent from getting burnt.
I smiled.
“Well, that’s an atronach, a seemingly unique one.”
Grace nodded.
“Light is rare as it is, but I don’t think there’s ever been a mix atronach.”
I looked at her.
“Why is light rare?”
“Because they form in supernova.”
“Oh.”
Cherry gave another exasperated look.
“Grace, how do you know so much about this?”
Grace smirked.
“You know all those times you made fun of me for believing in fey?”
“Yeah yeah, you were right, so what?”
“Oh, I had a bit of confirmation I was right.”
Cherry gave a confused look.
“How would you have confirmation before nowish?”
“Well, as a fey myself, it would be kind of odd to not think I exist.”
Cherry blinked.
“Heh?”
“I’m an atronach, kinda like that kid over there.”
Cherry looked at her friend in shock.
“You’re kidding, right?”
“Nope.”
Grace removed her hand and showed the stone inlay before reattaching it.
“See? Fey.”
Cherry seemed confused.
“Wait, I’ve been friends with a fey this whole time?”
“Yep, why do you think running into me was like running into a brick wall?”
“I thought you were just absolutely stacked under that shirt!”
Grace snickered then spoked.
“Well, I could be if I wanted to.”
Then she melded the stone into a more male-like appearance, but her voice was the same.
“See, muscly dude.”
Then she formed back.
“Or regular Grace.”
She smirked, and Brent sighed.
“Alright, back to the case at hand, why does Cherry remember?”
They looked back at me as I was sipping my tea.
“Ah, well it’s for quite a simple reason.”
Cherry raised a brow.
“And that is?”
“Your spine.”
“What?”
“In case there are blips or things I missed while mending it, I want you to be cognizant of my power. That way you can simply come over and tell me what’s wrong and I can fix it.”
“But… it shouldn’t have problems, right?”
I sighed.
“It took a week of refinement to make my arm and leg work as normal limbs, and even still they’ll occasionally blip, it’s mostly caution.”
Cherry seemed to understand.
“Oh, that… makes sense.”
Brent sighed.
“Though we do have a problem.”
I looked at him.
“What is it?”
“Well, you have another member of your family now, so the people living here has jumped to four…”
“And?”
Amy looked at me with an unimpressed look.
“Do you really think that four people, one of which is a literal inferno, could live here comfortably?”
I looked at her.
“Hm… fireproof the carpet, get an extra bed made of silicone then sure!”
Brent sighed.
“Listen, I’m gonna be straight with you, you need a bigger house, but don’t worry, since it’s technically the Order’s fault she exists in the first place, we’ll work on getting you one. Especially since we still haven’t made up for… well… kidnapping you.”
“Cool.”
Cherry had a look of confusion, so we explained the kidnapping and the true story behind the facility explosion.
“Hmm… So, you are that strong… and you… kidnap people?”
Brent sighed.
“I was actually trying to get him not kidnapped, but my stinking cousin never listens.”
I blinked.
“Jones is your cousin?”
“Yep. Why did you think we looked so similar?”
“Didn’t really think on it.”
Then Cherry blinked.
“Jones… like the fake agent that tried to shoot you?”
“Yep, same guy.”
“Huh…”
She thought for a moment.
“Well, I’ll not blab… since you’ve shown how little you want this to come out.”
“Yep.”
I smiled sweetly at Cherry and Grace sighed.
“You’re steadily becoming more Morgan like, it’s eerie.”
“What do you mean?”
Then Taury interceded.
“No, he’s becoming more like a typical higher fey, his more Morgan-like attitude is typical for higher fey.”
“I still don’t know what you guys mean.”
She sighed.
“Well, you’re smiling while administering threats, and you’re trying to seem dangerous despite not having dangerous intentions.”
“I am?”
“Yep, you didn’t even notice, most higher fey also do that without noticing, so he’s not becoming Morgan-like, he’s becoming fey-like.”
Grace raised a brow.
“I never did that.”
I gave her a look.
“One of our first interactions, you threatened to flatten me.”
“But I do that with ever-… Oh…”
Taury smiled.
“As I said, they do it without noticing.”
Grace seemed to be reconsidering her whole life at this point.
Brent, however, had a question.
“Why is he acting more fey-like?”
Taury smiled.
“Well, for two reasons, first, he’s interacted with several powerful fey, second, his magic is incredibly strong, even when compared to fey.”
“Huh.”
Then I realized something.
“Wait… so, the kid is my child… and Wings’s child… does that mean…”
Me and Taury flushed. Taury sighing deeply.
“Oh dear, we haven’t even kissed yet and we already have a kid.”
I sighed deeply.
“He’s gonna kill me.”
Taury nodded.
“Oh, absolutely.”
Amy looked at us in confusion.
“Who?”
I sighed as Taury answered.
“My brother.”
_
“YOU’RE DEAD!”
As entirely expected, Malkek wasn’t too happy hearing that he was suddenly an uncle. Of course, the kid had to stay with Aoi, as we didn’t know how to make her not boiling hot, so we had no way to prove that it wasn’t produced through normal means.
I dodged him numerous times, and Taury kept trying to stop him.
I wasn’t going to command him, because that would only make it worse.
So, we were stuck in a stalemate, as I used my magic to avoid his blows, and he kept using his magic to try to hit me.
“You dare impregnate her, Human!”
Taury finally had enough.
“I’m not pregnant!”
He stopped.
“Then how am I an uncle?”
His look of genuine confusion was shared by numerous pixies that had gathered.
“The kid is an atronach that was made by mine and William’s magic melding.”
He blinked.
“… How does that make me an uncle?”
I sighed.
“Because by all intents and purposes she is my and Taury’s child.”
“Oh… that makes sense… Have you two started dating?”
“No not yet.”
Then he got angry again and slashed at me.
“WHAT NOW?!”
“How dare you give my sister a child without even taking her to dinner!”
“GOSH DANG IT!”
_
After Taury got other pixies to restrain her rabid brother we began to speak on what happened to make it happen.
“I understood the pixies, but why the branches?”
“Because I don’t want you to try to kill me again.”
“Fair, so, how did this happen.”
So, once again, I had to explain the explosion and all that happened that day, and when I mentioned what caused my screech, Malkek grimaced as he imagined it. Taurael, a massive hole in her chest…
“I see, and that roar was the final thing to make the atronach?”
“That’s our theory, though oddly enough, she’s a combination of fire and light.”
“Interesting, but she got the will of an earthquake… she certainly sounds powerful.”
“Yeah… do you know how to make her… you know, not burn everything down with a touch?”
He thought for a moment.
“You’d have to ask Roman, he’s able to touch things without burning them.”
“That makes sense. Since she is half fire.”
“Yeah, but… a mix… I don’t think there’s ever been a mix before.”
“Not even when volcanos cause earthquakes?”
“No, they can create two atronachs, but they wouldn’t mix. I think it’s specifically because you and her used the magic in the same area at once.”
“Huh…”
“Yeah, and light… they are rare.”
“Yep.”
“Well, you have what you need to know, bring her to Roman and he could probably help you.”
“Nice, thanks.”
“Wonderful, now release me.”
“OH! Sorry.”
I completely forgot that I had him bound in branches.
I undid it and thanked him again, before me and Taury reentered the nexus.
I sighed, thinking for a moment.
“Hm… so, what should we name her anyways.”
Taury thought for a moment before excitedly making a suggestion.
“What about Lysil?”
“What?”
“It means bright fire in Norwegian.”
“Huh, what about simply Ruby?”
“Why?”
“Well, because I’ve seen that Atronachs typically do better with more basic names.”
“Hm… I guess… let’s let her decide.”
“Sure.”
We warped back to the apartment and saw that virtually everyone had left by this point.
Aoi and the kid were napping with each other, Aoi hugging her. It was quite the adorable sight, but unfortunately, we had to wake the kid.
“Wake up.”
The kid opened her eye and smiled.
“Papa…”
She sat up and rubbed her eyes before yawning.
Her yawn caused minor shaking, making me realize how strong the kid was.
“Hey, wanna come on a quick trip?”
“Sure, where we going?”
“To talk to another atronach.”
“Why?”
“Because he may be able to help teach you how to not burn everything.”
“Cool!”
She got up and I carried her before returning to the nexus.
“First… we need to give you a name.”
“Cool!”
“So, your mama says Lysil, I say Ruby, what do you think?”
Both me and Taury looked at her expectantly.
She noticed and thought for a moment, looking between us numerous times.
“Luby.”
“No.”
She sighed.
“Ruby den.”
I raised my hands in victory. Ruby giggled at my excitement.
Taury sighed, her arms drooping in defeat.
“Mama big here! Woah.”
Ruby walked up to Taury and smiled.
Taury looked at her and smiled very adorably.
“Alright, well, let’s get to Roman now.”
I agreed and opened the nexus to Roman’s realm.
As we entered, the first thing I noticed was the absolute lack of water.
On earth, even in the desert, there’d be at least some moisture, but here, it instantly just felt dry. It was almost terrifying.
I saw a ruined wasteland. I expected sand… but instead it was dirt, cement, and several other things… but no life… not even grass.
“Is… this actually Roman’s realm?”
“Wow…”
Taury just looked at the empty city before us in shock… the city looked much like one from my world, but… it was dead. No lights… no life… it was almost like everyone simply left… and took life itself with them.
As we walked silently through the city, we noticed a few warped pieces of metal, indicating that Roman was actually here at one point.
“Freeze.”
I froze at the unfamiliar voice.
I turned and saw a man, a mask over his mouth, he seemed almost shocked to see another human.
“What are you doing out of the settlement?"
“What?”
“And what the **** is that thing… is it like him?”
“Him? Listen, I think there’s a misunderstanding.”
“I don’t know what that is, but keep away from it, if it’s anything like him, it could kill us.”
He angled his knife towards Ruby, causing Taury to flinch.
I whispered.
“Take Ruby to Roman, I’ll go with him.”
I looked at Ruby who nodded.
“Alright.”
He grabbed me and pulled me behind and slowly backed away from Ruby before running, my hand in his.
Ruby seemed somewhat sad, but luckily she seemed to understand enough.
“Are you okay, man?”
“Yeah.”
“Hm… are you from another settlement?"
“What do you mean?”
“… Town?”
“Yeah.”
“Ah, yeah, your city running low on food or something? Tell ya what, we recently found a cache of canned food, you can eat with us today.”
“Huh… what happened?”
He looked at me.
“Oh, your town doesn’t teach it? I suppose most don’t have to deal with him.”
“Who’s him?”
“That man made of fire… he’s a true demon… I’ve only seen him once… luckily he didn’t notice me.”
“Wow…”
“Yeah, destroyer of life… of course, he couldn’t even give the decency of destroying all the beasts.”
“What?”
“Don’t tell me you’ve never run into a flame eater.”
“Can’t say I have.”
“Goodness, you’re lucky. They’re fierce.”
I followed the guy.
“By the way, the name’s Rob, how about you?”
“William.”
“Good to meet you.”
“Same…”
Rob brought me to a strange rock, then he knocked three times and spoke.
“The Angel of Fire.”
Then the rock slid open and a guy looked out.
“Rob?”
“Found an outer. Think he left his settlement.”
“And you brought him here? What if he saw you?!”
“Danny, how long have I been doing this? He’s not gonna find us.”
“Okay, fine.”
Danny let us in and closed the door.
“Well, William, welcome to the vault.”
He grabbed a bottle of water and handed it to me.
“… are you sure?”
“Heh, don’t worry, we’ve gathered tons of underground lakes, we have a near infinite supply.”
“How?”
“According to my gran, this was once called the seed vault.”
“Wow…”
“Yeah, we have plenty of food.”
“Huh…”
I sipped the water and Danny gave me an amused look.
“Goodness, we aren’t gonna take it from you if you drink too fast.”
“Sorry, I’d just rather conserve it.”
Especially since I didn’t need it as much as they did.
“Understandable.”
We walked and I saw several incredible things. A massive garden was the first… it was humongous.
“Biggest garden even before that thing showed up, some of those plants are over one thousand years old.”
“Incredible.”
“Yeah… it’s also the primary source of food for us.”
“Wow…”
“Yep.”
Then we found a chamber filled with massive canisters.
“This is our water cleaning place. We clean all moisture so it’s safe to drink.”
“Wow…”
Then as we walked further he pointed out various different things. Sticking out was a power converter and cameras hidden throughout the city.
“Wow, you can see virtually everything…”
“Yep, that’s how we know when to go out, when he isn’t in the city.”
“What does he do?”
“We don’t know, flame eaters patrol the perimeters keeping anything from leaving, making it kind of a miracle you got in without dying.”
“Hey, Rob.”
“What is it Maddie?”
“Look, theres a weird thing.”
“Hey, it’s that thing that was near you before William.”
“Yeah, it is…”
I saw Ruby walking around, clearly she was with Taury, but you couldn’t make her out from the sand in the camera.
“Huh… why is there another?”
“I don’t know, but it was about to grab this guy, I scared it off though.”
“Lucky… maybe the kids get scared?”
Then Maddie grimaced.
“If that thing has figured out how to reproduce, we got bigger issues.”
Danny nodded.
“Agreed, can you tell Celia, I’ll keep an eye.”
“Could I help?”
“Sure, new guy.”
Rob and Maddie left.
I was watching my daughter explore the city with Taury, then a beast came up.
“What’s that?”
“Oh, that’s a flame eater.”
It looked kind of like a wolf without the top half of it’s head, it also had tentacles and a jutting second mouth below the first. It had no fur and kind of looked like it came from resid*nt evil. It’s pale skin making it look even uglier.
“Blind as a bat, but everything else is unparalleled.”
Then the beast noticed Ruby. Growling, it got closer with it’s drooling maw.
“Heh, with any luck, the kids of that thing can’t defend.”
I felt anger at the hope of my child’s death, but I curbed the anger, understanding that he was simply ignorant.
Then, the beast fell in two directions. It was cut longways.
I gave a slight smile, Taury defended her, but Danny was pale.
“I-i-it just… we need to tell Rob.”
He grabbed my hand and ran as fast as he could.
“ROB!”
“Danny? What’s wrong?”
“That *pant* new thing is far stronger than him.”
Rob blanched.
“What? What do you mean, stronger?”
“A flame eater approached it and fell in half before I could even see the slightest movement.”
I tried to feign fear… it seemed to have worked.
“Oh ****. Oh ****. ****. If that thing gets close, we could die.”
Rob seemed to be panicking.
Then a lady walked up.
“By the sounds of it, we need to draw it away…”
Rob looked at her.
“And how do you suppose we do that?”
“The flame guy eats flame eaters, by that logic, the child version should too. Take the truck and a strong driver, gather flame eaters and get it to hunt them outside of the city.”
“That… that’s a good idea.”
“I’ll go and help.”
“New guy?”
“I mean, I did seem to draw… it here. I want to help.”
And to make sure that they don’t hurt her.
Rob walked up and put his hand on my shoulder with a smile.
“Good man, we’d love to have you.”
Then he turned and addressed the gathering people.
“Those who want to come, we leave tomorrow.”
Then, Rob turned to me.
“Welcome, William, to the Seed of Humanity.”
Vol 3 End
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Hello Again, My Friend!
Late to the party, it's me, Raven, and I'd like to review the next chapter in this great story using my Familiar method! Let's dive in, shall we? Heh heh heh...
What The Black Eyes See...
Oh wow! So much going on! The introduction of Ruby was awesome; she seems to have so much power, and it's so hard to predict anything about her, with potential traits of William, Taury, and atronachs at large! And after such awesome arcs showing us more about Maven and Astella, I can't wait to see what Roman's world will have to offer -and thus far, it seems almost more brutal than even Maven's "eat or be eaten" realm! Let's get into the details though.
Where The Dagger Points...
Not much to put here! There was only one potential thing I noticed;
I think you may have meant why Grace was tired here? Perhaps? That's all though, good writing job ~
Why The Grin Widened...
Oh wow, what a twist! I wasn't expecting an atronach to be responsible for the fire, but as soon as I read it, I was thinking about the flame spire, the explosion with the Hunter, etcetera. Sure enough, when it addressed William as "papa" that's a good enough hint, but still, to think any of those events were big enough to cause an atronach...dang!
Ooo, I love the explanation, that she's essentially a hybrid of Taury's light and William's fire. I also love the demeanor that the child has;
LOL, cute and funny.
It's awesome that this kid is such an unpredictable entity; that she may have multiple elements of pixie, human, and atronach types. That's very cool! I also love the awkward energy between William and Taury because of this XD
What an appropriate babysitter/playmate for a chaotic child, haha. Also, light atronachs form from supernovas? WOAH, that's cool!
I like the very casual, friendly dynamic between Grace and Cherry, I feel like it's a good way to show that they've been friends longer than most of the people in the room. Plus, Grace's cheeky energy is always fun, especially when talking about fey existence to humans, haha.
Interesting note from Taury, about William's behavior. It's a good way to tell us that William is not only evolving in strength, but evolving in wit as well, and he's getting closer and closer to (hopefully) reaching Morgan's level of power. And knowing what Astella had to say about Morgan, that should be as interesting as it is nerve-wracking...
Oh no. All the possible wrong assumptions going on here, and his reaction was priceless XD Also loved how Taury just totally expected this to happen.
Ooo, the proposition to ask Roman had me intrigued, considering he's one of the only fey counselors we haven't seen in a while, or gotten a more in-depth understanding of.
The contrast between Tuary and William's names was great, Taury's name having ancient and lingual significance, William's just being short, sweet, and cute. And "Luby" had me laughing to myself, haha.
Wow, Roman's world was quite a shock! Very Fallout-esque, absolutely apocalyptic, and with only Rob's perspective, it definitely paints Roman in a dim light. Right now, I'm wondering if this was intentional destruction, considering what Astella was telling William about the violence against humans, or -recalling that Roman accidentally destroyed his original realm- if it was accidental. Or if there's something else entirely going on...either way, great staging for this new realm!
Our
MadThoughts...Overall, that was an awesome chapter and end to Volume 3! Nicely done!
Thanks for the review
Hello friend! Ellie here with a review for this lovely chapter of yours. Let's jump right in to the review!
You have such intricate details, which make your writing feel almost poetic to me. It is very pleasant to read, since you use these words which look and sound beautiful. 'analyzing one of her vertebrae" followed by words like calcium, mimic, and reformed, really stand out to me. You could have written this so much more simply, but instead you use beautiful language, here and throughout the entire chapter, which really draw me in as I read. I also liked you attention to small details, like facial expressions, like here when Grace smiles in response, before answering.
Overall, lovely work and I enjoyed this chapter. Keep on writing!!
Your friend,
Ellie
Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Shalt we commence with the spooky S’more?
Top Graham Cracker - William and Taury have created a child from their magic, they go to Roman to help Ruby, but…William has been separated from them by an apocalypse group…
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - This is fine, I like this chapter.
Chocolate Bar - I love how William cares about Ruby even though he just met her. She’s his child, and he doesn’t want anything bad to happen to her. Of course, that’s difficult in a world such as his…
Closing Graham Cracker - William seems to have been taken by another group in the middle of the apocalypse and has to protect Ruby from them so that they don’t hurt her. Hopefully she’ll be okay…
I wish you a fantastic day/night! ^v^