scratching

I swear I will never stop reading your poetry. You're such an inspiration to me, so please continue doing what you're doing.

Hey, herbgirl!I'm here to review your poem! Woo hoo!!!

My first reaction was simply "wow"! This is a really amazing poem. You said so much, in a simple way and I love that!

Now let me take a moment to tell you everything I enjoyed about this...

1) The format! It's not only unique and cool to look at, but it mirrors the sentiment running throughout your poem.The narrator of the poem is pulling themself apart, and the structure of the poem looks as if it's falling apart. I think that has a really awesome effect, and I disagree with the previous reviewer about changing the format!!

2) It's amazing how much you convey in so few words! You did a great job of establishing feelings of desperation, sadness, the difficulty of rebuilding your life and not wanting to exist. This poem is very powerful.

3) The lack of capitalization and punctuation is great! This creates a passive voice for the narrator which I think fits very well with the idea of wanting to disappear!

4) I love the repetition of the word prick. This word almost echos in your head, and it feels like you can hear someone ripping their skin off.

5) On a more personal note, I relate to this because I obsessively pick off my cuticles so yeah. I'm assuming this poem was a lot more metaphorical than that, but I thought I'd put it out there.

6) I love the lines "a tangle of bone and muscle" This is great imagery and puts a weird, grotesque picture in my mind.

Just a few quick suggestions...

1) Not that important but the lines "i'll have pricked myself all away so all that's left is a pile of dust" felt a little repetitive. Just because you used the word all twice in such close proximity.

2) The lines "I keep on prodding hoping (praying)" seemed a little over the top. I understand that you are attempting to establish a feeling of desperation, but the rest of this poem has already done that in an efficient and satisfying way. I've read lines similar to these ones (and I've definitely written them too) so oftenly than this come off as a little cliche and insincere.

I don't have anymore critiques, just because this poem is so amazing!

Overall, great job! This is one of the best poem I've read in a long while! And I freaking love it!!

Have an awesome day! And keep writing because I'd love to read more of your work.

Farewell,
spectator

Greetings!

I like morbidness of this piece with its intentional denaturing of the body, and I also like its simplicity of its lack of capitalization and punctuation. It is difficult to write lines out of a single word, but I think you are on the right track. I appreciate all your alliterations especially the [p]s; it is a great tool to get accustomed to.

Some things I'd like to point out: I think you would have a greater effect if you aligned every line to the left and removed the indentations. If you want the piece to be fickle on purpose, than leave the poem's structure as is. Also, I don't understand why "(praying)" received parentheses; it makes me believe that this piece is about losing one's faith. Finally, the last three lines have a different flow than the rest of the piece, and it seems like you did not know how to end the poem.

Nonetheless, I enjoyed this piece, and I hope you continue your poem-ing!