she
is not a traditional beauty
but
nothing is as timeless
as her classic
youth
her nose
round
rubbed with
long
purposeful
fingers
which
turn to her
hair
twirling so purposefully
the curls
that paint my dreams
a sunrise red
full of beauty
and memories yet
to be made
and though
i cannot say
i love her
i must admit
i am
in love with
what she symoblizes
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Hello, Godly here for a review and happy revmo!
This is delightful little poem to say the least! I like the structure as it guides the reader to read it in a particular way. I found myself right from the beginning pausing at the end of each line. This gave the poem that extra dramatical effect that made it all the more interesting to read. The opening to the poem is particularly powerful. The way you mention something and contradict it ever so slightly makes for a good poem. You talk of how whilst she is youthful, her beauty is nothing like you have ever witnessed. This shows off the fact that you are unaware of your love no matter what you tell yourself. That being said you then have the last stanza. This seems to contradict the opening statement as well as the fact that you pick out little details represnting the love that you have inside for her. This makes the reader think about how the poem ends more than anything else which I guess is what you were aiming for. Your detailed descriptions not only create powerful imagery but represents the thought process of the narrator in its own special way.
If I were to consider what the girl symbolises, I would have to say it is the feeling of love, the idea of timeless memories and the sense of adventure. All in all this makes the reader consider what love truly is. Whilst it is a fact we fall in love with the person, it isn't only them that we fall for. We fall for love. It's feeling inside of us and the countless dreams that form is addictive and we don't want to let go. This is when we think about exes. We still miss them, but we go for a new love instead and forget about the old one. Unless the loverall isn't strong enough. What we miss isn't the person but the memories and feelings you created with them. So you must admit, you're in love with what they symbolise.
This is probably totally wrong but that is my interpretation.
Overall a memorable poem that is full of meaning. My only nitpick is the idea you don't capatalise the 'I' s but I feel like there is a meaning for them.
Keep writing,
All the best,
Godly
Hello, This is Sandman and I'll be your Reviewer today.
I like the feeling of this poem and I can tell that you love something about this girl other than what she symbolizes. I picture can picture the girl very well because of how you described her and that is a good thing that most poets (myself included) don't do in their poems. It's a shame really. I think that the line breaks are different but different is good. I like the way that you describe everything to use. It simply shows how she is rebellious.