Undoing

to tell you the truth this isn't one of my better works... i just felt the need to post something haha
i pretty much agree with you about everything, although i think the rhyme scheme works at the start with the tune that i have given it. thanks for your feedback.

I was gonna get what I wanted
I had an impeccable plan
Everything was going so perfectly
Then along came this man Already not a fan of the rhyme scheme...
And he’s making it hard to breathe
And he’s making it hard to see
What I originally set out to do
Oh no, this can’t be true ^Nothing personal, but these lines are just too cliche.

And this could be my undoing
When I had it all planned out so well
Now I haven’t got a clue what I’m doing
How could I have fallen under your spell?
Oh you could be my undoing You don't say a whole lot here...try to make your words all expand on your idea, because while this can work pretty well in music, it doesn't tend to work well in poetry.

I was a stand alone person
I had an image to uphold
Then he comes along like sunshine
With eyes like diamonds and a heart of gold
And he’s looking at me with those eyes
And he’s taken me by surprise
And as if that isn’t enough
I’ve gone and fallen in love^First of all, you keep breaking the rhyme scheme here. Second, you're falling prey to those cliches again.

And this could be my undoing
When I had it all planned out so well
Now I haven’t got a clue what I’m doing
How could I have fallen under your spell?
Oh you could be my undoing

I’m standing as still as stone
It’s all I can do not to run
‘Cause it’s scaring me how I
Can let it all come undone
How can one person make me feel
Like nothing else matters but you
Oh god, I’ve got it so bad
And there’s nothing I can do Lost the rhyme scheme through this again.

And this could be my undoing
When I had it all planned out so well
Now I haven’t got a clue what I’m doing
How could I have fallen under your spell?
Oh you could be my undoing