I accidentally started caring

Hey thanks everyone for your comments
I've tried to take all your advice into account but I haven't changed it a lot
Anyway, thanks heaps

There are some great lyrics here! I'd love to hear the music that would go with them!
Lyrics like these:

- Now I’m thinking to myself
“You’re a fool, look at you,”
But somehow I don’t mind being a fool for you -

and

- But now I’m crying, dreaming, thinking, scribbling and staring
And I realised what happened: I accidentally started caring -

Are brilliant! (Although I think one less word is needed in "crying, dreaming, thinking, scribbling and staring") And the chorus is very good!

The only lyrics I think need a bit of work are:

-But I’m really kinda glad
Coz even though I’ve become everything I hated
If you went away now, I’d be completely sad -

There is something not as well-written about these when compared to the others. The word 'completely' in particular doesn't quite fit.

Overall though, a nice piece of work!!

Hey there Emalily! I like the lyrics a whole lot! But somehow, when i'm reading them, I'm thinking that this song would be only a minute and a half while most songs are three and a half tofour minutes. There are usually more stansas in a song. And you don't want to make the listener bored with the lyrics. How about mixing the chorus up a little? Instead of saying:

Oh no, I think I’m in love
No matter how much I see him, I can’t get enough
Even his name makes my heart skip a beat
Oh god, am I really in so deep?
Now I’m thinking to myself
“You’re a fool, look at you,”
But somehow I don’t mind being a fool for you

Say something like this after a different stansa:

Oh no, I think I’m in love
No matter how much I see him, I can’t get enough
His name makes my heart skip a beat
I can't believe I'm in so deep!
Now I’m thinking to myself
“Just look at me, I'm a fool,”
But somehow I don’t mind being a fool for you

Just mix it up. All the best musicians do it with their songs. It makes the song interesting and you won't get bored. Besides that, I think this would be a great song. Alot of people can connect to this and that's another characteristic that makes music so great. Hope to see more of your work soon.

I like your song and although like most songs bits and pieces need to be reworded to flow better I think that overall your poem has a interesting story line and good flow.

This part ,I think needs to be reworked a little to have a better flow

But now I’m crying, dreaming, thinking, scribbling and staring
And I realised what happened: I accidently started caring

But I really like the concept.

Please keep writing so people like me can enjoy your awsome writing

Bluebird24

Hello there! Firstly, these lyrics work very well. I can imagine them to a pop ballad, maybe even with a little country twang. I just have a couple nit-picky type things.

In your chorus the last three lines veer away from your rhyme scheme. It was really well done up to that bit and then it was gone. Also the you/you rhyme is repetitive. Also another place where the rhymes get inconsistent is the third verse. It does have a rhyme scheme, but it's completely different than the above rhyme scheme. It probably still works, but just be careful of the flow.

Any who, all in all I think it was a solid song. My only other suggestion would be to add a bridge to it.

Hello there Emalily! Rosie here to review!

I liked these lyrics! It was really bright and lively, unlike lots of songs these days.

Keep in mind that the corrections pointed below are optional, and they don't really matter much. ;D

I never wanted to cry every night over a boy
I never dreamed that seeing him would be the only thing to bring me joy
I never wanted to think about him every minute of everyday
I never thought in someone’s presence I would not know what to say
But now I’m crying, dreaming, thinking, scribbling and staring
And I realised what happened: I accidently started caring

I never wanted to think about him every minute, every day

I really hate that after all that I was wrong
But I’m really kinda glad
Coz even though I’ve become everything I hated
If you went away now, I’d be completely sad