Shadow's Rising {Wing 6} Chapter 9 (Part 1)

Chapter 9 

The Mental Maelstrom of Ash

During the week after Aurora returned from her brush with death, Bellum had Shadow train to master the techniques he had taught him. Every day Shadow practiced creating a mental barrier with the assistance of Bellum’s power. When he tired of that, he would practice connecting to Boulder and Aurora’s minds without them noticing, but he did little more than whisper words of encouragement and direct their attention.

Meanwhile the tournament in the arena had gone into full swing. There were fights during most hours of the day and Shadow tried to practice his mental barriers during those times to avoid the worst of the pain. Sometimes he watched the fights while he practiced and had been impressed by the sheer variety of events. There were even a few fighters Jarid’s age at one point. A tall muscular boy who used earth magic fought alongside a blond wind user and a lean ice mage. Shadow silently cheered them on as they fought off tigers and giant boars. In the end they prevailed and he felt elated at their victory. He wondered if this was why humans enjoyed such a gruesome sport.

Food was brought to Shadow’s cell in the morning just like any other day and as soon as he was finished he heard Bellum’s voice in his head.

Good morning my student.

Good morning, Master, Shadow replied. He walked casually to the corner of the cell and curled up as if he was taking a nap. He had learned by now how to keep himself from reacting to Bellum’s voice no matter how he felt. This was often difficult because, ever since the morning Aurora returned to him, he couldn’t help but hang on his master’s every word. He wanted to cry every time he messed up and the bliss of being praised was a euphoria unlike anything he had ever felt.

Just like the previous days, Shadow waited patiently for his master to give him a schedule of the things he wanted him to practice, but today was a surprise he had been waiting for ever since his training began.

You have been doing well, student. At this point in your training I believe you are ready for me to begin showing you how to operate within the mental plane. For this, we will enter the mind of that poor Flame Wing you care so much about and I will show you how to help her.

Shadow couldn’t keep himself from trembling in excitement. He was finally getting the opportunity to use his powers for good! He subtly shuffled so he could look at Ash while focusing on gently entering her mind.

Ash’s mind felt the same as it had since he first saw her in the cell. The cold feeling of creeping dread clung to his scales and the fear that always felt on the verge of exploding into full blown terror rippled in waves from the only dim light in the gloom. The small area of her mind Ash had secluded herself in.

Bellum entered as well but he seemed different. In his mind’s eye Shadow looked at the hazy outline of his master, but it wasn’t his usual form. Rather than a looming Night Wing he saw a vaguely familiar human.

Before he could ask, Bellum answered the question forming in his head. This lesson will be of a more delicate nature, so I took on a form I believed you would find comforting. Your brother, the human. Up until now I have used the image of a Night Wing because I thought it might be easier for you to trust and obey a fellow Night Wing. But we are not here to learn about disguising your mental projection. We must focus on the matter at hand. To begin with, tell me what you see.

Shadow looked around. Before he hadn’t paid much attention to the darkness around him but now he could see faint shapes in the dark. What looked like floating chunks of rock and flowers drained of color. Black flames that flickered cold and dark. I was incredible to see all those things seemingly floating in the void, but for some reason it made him feel sad. Every one lacked all vibrancy of life and looking at them sent cold shivers through his heart. He pointed out each thing to Bellum as he saw them.

After a minute Bellum seemed satisfied. Yes. You see the fractured world of her mental plane. We each have our own which, if you are able to enter, cannot be completely disguised. They are a representation of how we see ourselves and, if you know how to look, you can tell far more about them than mere thoughts and memories can tell you. You can see feelings, memories, how their life has shaped them, and even who they truly believe themselves to be. As you can tell, this Flame Wing is broken, isolated and cold. She sees no hope and no way out. All she can do is protect what small remnant of her sanity that remains. The darkness is both shielding her and keeping her trapped in this small corner of her mind. She has done her best to cut off her own access to her memories for fear of remembering the full extent of her pain.

Shadow looked around in awe as he began to realize what he was seeing and feeling. Seeing it was one thing but understanding what it meant was quite another. He was left speechless at the complexity and depth of the dragon mind. He had never explored even his own mind like this. It made him wonder what his own mental plane would look like.

Bellum gestured for Shadow to follow as he walked over to Ash’s mental self, but he stopped at the edge of the light she was giving off.

From here you will continue alone. I will guide you, but you must be the one to reach out. Try to emanate a feeling of safety as you approach. Focus on wanting to help her and pull back the moment she resists.

Shadow approached slowly, emanating a warm glow. Ash’s mental self was as small as a hatchling and curled up in a ball. The soft silvery glow emanating from her held the smallest hint of hope. But a much greater presence weighed down on them both. A wall of fear and helplessness.

Shadow found that the more he focused on safety, trust, and empathy, the more the darkness bit back. It almost felt as if the darkness itself was calling him a liar for daring to bring feelings of safety here. But he pressed forward as slowly and gently as he could, until the edge of his warmth reached her.

Ash felt the warmth and grew curious. She uncurled just enough to seek out the source of the warmth. Shadow tried to extend his desire to help her but she immediately curled up again.

No. Please don’t. I can’t bear to hope again. Just stay away, her voice shook the mindscape and a blizzard of fear and hopelessness threw Shadow back into the darkness. It was a wall that pushed him away along with the warmth and safety he was trying to give her.

Bellum approached and shielded Shadow from the negative feelings around them. I’ve seen worse. At least you didn’t awaken her trauma like last time. Sometimes, this is what it takes. You slowly wear them down over time until they let you in. With some people, pressing in when they try to push you away can open them up quickly, but with others they need time to collect themselves before opening up.

Shadow looked up at Bellum. Do you think she needs time to collect herself?

Bellum huffed. She’s already had plenty of time. If she was able to collect herself on her own she would have done so by now. But why push against all those negative emotions? If you can’t force her mind back together why bother experiencing more pain just to ease her suffering? Take a break for now. I have so much more I can teach you if her mind stays broken a little longer.

Shadow frowned. But I don't want her mind to stay broken. If I keep pushing forward, will it will help her to heal sooner? Bellum stayed silent but that was all the answer Shadow needed. I will keep going. Ash needs me.

Bellum let out a sigh that seemed to conceal both resignation and slight frustration. Very well. But whether you leave of your own accord or are forced out by this Flame Wing’s pain, this is where your lesson for today ends.

With that, Bellum removed his protection and Shadow was thrust back into the storm of negative emotions swirling in Ash’s mind. Over the storm he faintly heard Bellum’s thoughts as he left Ash’s mind.

I suppose it will take more time to wear him down. Just… longer… obeys. He will… my power… greatest tool…!

Shadow couldn’t make sense of what he said and dismissed it. He had other things to focus on right now.