After gaining the trust of Ash, Shadow trained his mental barrier until the evening and spoke with Bellum about what they would do moving forward.
I’m sorry about going against your wishes and continuing to push Ash like that. B-But I was able to gain her trust a bit. So I think it wasn’t all bad, Shadow apologized timidly.
Bellum replied in a stern tone. I warned you that the experience would be painful, yet you pressed on. I am not upset with you. I merely wished to spare you pain, but I understand what it is like to be young and rebellious, Bellum chuckled and his voice softened somewhat.
I too ignored the warnings of my elders as I explored the bounds of my powers. However, with age comes wisdom and efficiency. Fortunately your blunder has gained you her trust rather than breaking it. If you continue gaining her trust she will open up to you and allow you to help her heal. To mend a broken mind is simple. You will find her mind knows what to do if she is motivated to heal herself. You must guide and empower her along the way. You can even modify a few things if you wish. Unfortunately I cannot join you on her mental plane to show you myself, but don’t worry. I know you will be able to figure it out.
Shadow mentally cocked his head. Why not? I thought you would be there to help me do it. And another thing, won’t she realize I have these powers and tell the others once she’s healed?
Bellum paused for a moment before answering. The answer to your second question is simple. The Flame Wing cannot see the mental plane as we do. As best she feels a presence and hears whispered thoughts. Her mind is also broken, so she will not be able to remember things clearly. So long as you are not too obvious once she recovers, it should be fine. As for your second question, well… Bellum paused again. He seemed to consider his words for a moment before continuing.
Whoever broke her mind was likely powerful. If they were at all similar to me and she sensed my presence while I showed you what to do, it would trigger her trauma without a doubt. Besides, this will be better training if you work it out on your own, so don’t ask me to intervene. In fact, Forget about asking me to interfere. Simply Trust me and Obey my instructions.
Shadow felt a familiar bliss wash over him and he closed his eyes to enjoy the feeling. Yes, Master. With your instruction, I promise you won’t need to lift a claw yourself.
Hmmm. Good, Bellum growled in satisfaction. Do not interact with the Flame Wing again today. We will continue your training on her tomorrow afternoon. For the morning, practice your mind shielding and listen in on the tournament. They will be making an announcement that you should hear.
Shadow bowed on the mental plane. Yes master. I will be sure to listen closely to the humans until training begins.
Bellum left Shadow’s mind and Shadow turned to watch Ash as the sun set. She didn’t seem any different on the outside. Her tail was wrapped tightly around her knees as she rocked slowly back and forth, shivering and staring ahead blankly, but he was sure with Bellum’s help he would be able to heal her.
The next morning Shadow stood at the window practicing his mental barrier as the crowd for the day slowly filtered in. His training was interrupted when the slightly revolting smell of their allotted food being dumped into the cell set his stomach rumbling. After a brief meal and conversation with the other dragonets on where they thought their meal had originated, he returned to the window just in time to see a menagerie of trained animals finishing their performance. There was almost always a bit of entertainment at the start to allow the final spectators to arrive and get settled in. Then the announcer walked out into the middle of the arena. In his hand was a small black metal stick with what looked like a silver ball made of mesh on the top.
“Gathered spectators and guests from all over the human world,” the announcer began, his voice emanating from black boxes set up around the arena so it reached clearly to even the furthest spectators.
“I am Spectaculum! Proud announcer for the Red Desert Colosseum. Throughout this festival we have seen many great fighters test their metal and shed their blood on these very sands, but this is no ordinary festival. This year marks the hundredth Festival of First Magic!”
The crowd cheered and gave a thunderous applause. Spectaculum basked in the applause until they quieted enough for him to continue.
“And so… the winner of the final five rounds, held over the next five days, will claim a very special prize. On the sixth and final day of the event, they will be given the opportunity to collect the head of a very special creature. Just as the great king of old killed the white dragon to become the first human mage, we will give the mightiest champion of the arena the chance to bring an end to one of their tribes once and for all. Ladies and gentlemen. I present to you the prize for our tournament and the greatest event in the last hundred years. The winner will have the honor of fighting and killing the last of the Night Wings before all humanity!"
The roar of the crowd shook the arena. It was so loud that Surge and the other dragonets all stood and came over to the window to see what was going on.
Shadow felt his blood run cold. The world felt distant and not quite real. He stumbled away from the window and sat in a corner of the cell. As he sat there he couldn’t stop his talons and wings from trembling. His throat was dry and it was hard to breathe.
Are they really going to kill me? B-but they can’t. I’m not a… not a monster. Why are they all so happy to kill me? Why?
He knew this was why they had been captured but to hear it announced like that...
Tears started to run down Shadow’s snout and he curled up into a ball.
They want to kill you because they fear you. They fear your power. The moment Bellum spoke, a warm blanket wrapped around Shadow’s mind, smothering his fears and doubts.
Everyone fears those more powerful than themselves. It is natural. But that means you must keep that power hidden to prevent them from turning on you. You must use your power subtly to turn things in your favor but never so much so that those around you begin to suspect. Of course, once you are strong enough, you will have no need to hide, but to get there you must survive.
But how do I do that, Master? Shadow asked hopefully.
Bellum sent waves of assurance through Shadow’s mind. I have a plan, my troubled student. The winner of the tournament has practically been decided, and I know that boy will be doing everything it takes to win after such an announcement. Using this knowledge, I have devised a way for you and your friends to escape this place. All you have to do is kill the champion. He is the greatest obstacle preventing me from helping you.
Shadow nodded. Right. All I have to do is kill the… wait. Kill him? Me?
Yes, Shadow. You must learn how to kill those who threaten you. It is the first step when learning to remove anyone who gets in your way. It is easy to convince yourself since this is self defense. If you can’t even do that, you will never be able to grow stronger at another’s expense, which will keep you from attaining true power. Don’t worry about the killing. It isn’t your fault they are forcing you to do this. It is kill or be killed. Forget your hesitation. Just Trust me and Obey what I tell you. I’ll take all the blame for any deaths along the way. You have to obey your master after all. It is Not Your Fault.
Shadow felt a pleasant warmth wash over his mind as he slipped into agreement. Yes, Master. I don’t need to worry about it.
The moment Shadow thought those words Jarid’s voice whispered in the back of his mind. Killing is wrong. We must always try to find another way. Subdue the champion. Don’t kill him. Shadow knew it wasn’t actually Jarid speaking to him. Jarid’s voice had always helped guide him even when he wasn’t there. Shadow shook his head slightly as the warm feelings began to fade.
He was about to ask Bellum if there was any way they could avoid killing the champion when Hailstorm interrupted his thoughts. “Hey, Shadow. What were the humans all excited about? Is the tournament over?”
His comment brought Shadow back to the present, and to the very real fact he could die soon, but as he went to reply with the truth something stopped him. They can’t help me. Perhaps it’s better if I don’t make them worry for nothing, he thought. Shadow nodded to himself. He wasn’t going to cause them more anguish than they were already in.
“It was nothing, Hailstorm. The tournament will be over in five days and on the sixth the champion will receive the trophy for his victory.” Unfortunately, that trophy is my head.
Hailstorm grinned. “We might just survive this then! If we can hold out for five more days, it will be some time before the next event. We might even find an opportunity to escape before then.”
Shadow turned away so his friend couldn’t see the downcast expression on his face. “Yeah. Maybe we will.”
“I’m sure of it. Besides, it's not like we get much good news right now. Might as well celebrate what we can, right?” Hailstorm grinned and patted Shadow excitedly on the back. Then he walked over to the others and shared the good news.
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139,415 Literary Works • 672,559 Reviews
Hello again, Niteowl here to review another chapter. Again, I'm going to comment as I write, then wrap up with some thoughts.
It's interesting to see Bellum playing the "wise mentor" role when we know (and Shadow previously thought) of him as a villain. Definitely makes me curious to know how much of this story is true and what his motives are for "helping" Shadow.
Well, this sort of answers my question from the previous chapter. So, according to Bellum, she's just going to brush off the telepathic conversation with Shadow as a crazy thought and wouldn't believe it was actually real? It's certainly not impossible, but it's strange that Shadow only fears Ash figuring it out now and not when he was actually talking to her.
As I said in the previous chapter, this feels like an odd way for a dragon to move, especially if they have any sort of tail. If they have tails and wings, that would certainly affect how they would move. And...are they cold-blooded or warm-blooded? Reptiles don't shiver. That's a warm-blooded creature movement to regulate temperature. I'm not saying you need to know every anatomical detail of these creatures, but basic features like that are good to nail down and consider when writing movement. Maybe instead of rocking back and forth, she curls her tail in a ball, makes herself small as possible, and rocks from side to side?
The way this is written is a bit odd. I thought they were imprisoned but here it feels like they have seats at this arena and he can just walk away to get food whenever he wants. I might consider rewriting more along the lines of "he spent the morning training his mental barrier and trying to focus on what was happening in the tournament, but when the guards tossed in some [insert food here], he was lured away by his grumbling stomach."
Oh, this is a reveal! I definitely thought we were in medieval fantasy land, but now it seems the humans, at least, have modern technology. I'm not sure if this was meant to be a new revelation or if I've just read the previous sections too quickly, but this is interesting nevertheless.
So, while I am less stunned than Shadow at the announcement that he is the prize to be killed at the end of this tournament, I am a little uncertain that the humans would recognize him as special in any way. Up until this point, I was reading the different dragon divisions (Night Wing, Fire Wing, etc) as divisions that only the dragons would know or understand and the humans were just killing them for sport and see them all as kind of the same. I'm unsure if this is an "I read too quickly" problem or a legitimate concern, but I think it's worth noting: if the humans see dragons as Evil Beasts to Be Slain, I don't think they'd care as much about the internal divisions of dragon society as the dragons themselves do. Are the humans aware the dragons can have powers like mind-reading? Do they care?
I like reading Shadow's moral dilemma about killing the champion, with Bellum persuading him to think it's fine while his memory of Jarid is playing the role of his conscience.
A little confused by this conversation with Hailstorm. They're all imprisoned together, right? Wouldn't he have been able to see/hear what's going on with the humans and their tournament as well as Shadow did? There might be a language barrier or something, but I don't recall that being a problem in earlier chapters.
I'm still not sure where this prophecy thing came from. Maybe this idea needs to be introduced earlier in the narrative. If this prophecy is so important, I feel like Shadow should be thinking about what it says and what it might mean for what he's experiencing. I know I would in the (admittedly highly unlikely) situation that I had a prophecy that was supposed to be related to me and then I was captured and put into some gladiator tournament. I'd be thinking over every single word of that stupid prophecy and how it might help me now. So maybe Shadow should be thinking of it himself as far back as when they're first captured.
Overall, I think Bellum's mind manipulation and Shadow's moral quandaries about killing, even in self defense, are very compelling. I look forward to reading more! Keep writing!
Hi again!
I went back and made some modifications based off what you said on Dragon anatomy. I will say that they are warm blooded creatures in this series (for the sake of them being able to move between various climates I plan to have them travel through). But that was a good catch.
And the line about the food was also upgraded.
As for having some modern things in medieval land, I have mentioned it throughout the book, but there are 'artifacts' from a place called the magic city which was destroyed almost 30 years ago. And I also hint at even more advanced tech that existed far before that. But it was all lost during magical disasters when they tried to wield power they weren't ready for.
As for the human and dragon stuff you mentioned at the end...
The dragons are all elemental in nature and appearance. (this was described earlier). Thus humans can distinguish between them by this trait. Dragons too.
However, humans and dragons use different languages. For the most part, when a human speaks it is in human and when a dragon speaks it is in dragon. If that isn't the case I make sure to specify. In Shadow's case, he was raised by a human (Jarid) who was given the memories of dragon language and culture by Shadow's Mother (using her telepathy). So both Jarid and Shadow are the only ones who can speak and understand both languages.
(only Jarid and the other Night Wings know they have Mind powers, and Shadow is supposedly the last one)
As for the Prophecy,
It was introduced way back in Wing 2. I set it up so that the prophecy can be manipulated by different groups depending on how it is interpreted and how certain stipulations are met. So, even though everyone believes these are the dragonets of prophecy, if another group were to meet the same conditions they would be just as viable. Thus, any member of the group is never guarantied to survive simply because they are mentioned in the prophecy. It could always be talking about someone else.
(It also doesn't really give any insight into what happens in this book. Though, I may go back and edit the prophecy to be a little more specific later. If I do, I'll add Shadow thinking over how it could help them)
Ok that is an ominous title. Oh… Maybe Jarid is too late and he can no longer save Shadow from Bellum. Ahhh Jarid, the one thing you could have done to make me like you again!!
Hmmm I find this time that Bellum’s explanation is rather cumbersome and repetitive, about how to heal her mind I mean :/
Uhmmm I know it is sudden to be singled out like this… but why else were they captured? Their captors already nearly killed Aurora for sports so I thought they knew this was their purpose. Singling out Shadow is cruel etc but what really did they expect to happen? Did they think their part in all this was over now that Aurora has shown to be able to defeat her enemies—with outside help?
I feel like the “and” disrupts this sentence here: “The winner of the tournament has practically been decided and I know he will be doing everything it takes to win after that announcement.” Bc surely… the winner has either been practically decided BC of the announcement or he was always going to be the winner and the announcement is just extra fuel.. but in either case the sentence doesn’t work with “and” :/
I do like that Bellum really understands Shadow’s psyche. That Shadow would react to “this is not your fault” even if the end goal is to make him accept killing, even when it IS his fault…
Hmm so far I’ve only really seen Aurora do something. It would be nice to see just what the dragonets understand of their prophecy and their own role in it…
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I modified Bellum's explanation of healing Ash's mind. Should be a bit better now.
As for the part about Shadow being surprised he would die, I was hoping it would come across more as the reality of it hitting him. Like, you know it's going to happen but hearing your execution date makes it a lot more real all of a sudden.
I will have more of the other dragonets right at the end but I wanted this section to be mostly about Shadow's internal struggles with himself (and Bellum, the proverbial devil on his shoulder) so that's why there isn't too much with the others.