Chapter 13
“I want to protect you”
Shadow’s claw descended towards his brother's neck as his eyes welled with tears.
NOOOOO!
With an explosion of mental energy Shadow shattered the shackles binding himself to Bellum’s will. The difference in his own thoughts shocked him but he didn’t have time to think on it as Bellum continued to force his talon towards Jarid’s neck.
Shadow threw himself against Bellum’s control with all he had but Bellum was not about to relinquish Shadow’s body so easily. As their minds wrestled for control over his body, every action slowed to a crawl, but trying to stop Bellum completely was like attempting to hold back a tidal wave.
You cannot stop me, dragonet. Bellum whispered in Shadow’s ear. My will is dominant. Your will is weak. This boy will die, and you will serve me, as my apprentice.
Shadow looked down at Jarid, tears dripping down his snout. His mouth tried to move but he was choking on his own words as his mind screamed. Please! No. Jarid, move! Get away from me! I can’t stop him. I can’t…
“You can do it, Shadow.”
Shadow’s eyes widened as Jarid seemed to read his mind.
“Whatever you are going through, I know you can overcome it. You are my amazing little brother. You said you were going to rescue me if I ever got in trouble. Remember? I’m sorry for not coming to rescue you sooner. I’m sorry for letting these humans treat you this way. You are not a monster. I trust you, brother, with my life.”
Saying that, Jarid closed his eyes and sat on his knees. He held Shadow’s talon up to his own neck and waited.
Shadow’s heart swelled. His brother truly believed in him. He was risking his very life to tell him so. Maybe I can do this, he thought to himself. No. I WILL do it. Jarid is counting on me. I refuse to let him down!
Shadow’s mind crackled like a tempest and a whirlwind slammed into Bellum’s mental projection. In the real world, Shadow’s body froze just as his claw pushed against Jarid’s neck.
Bellum roared above the storm. You cannot win, feeble dragonet! You need me! My power is the only way to protect your friends. I just can't understand it. Why is sacrificing one insignificant human to achieve power so hard for you?
Shadow’s eyes narrowed in fury. He is not insignificant to me. He believes in me, and I trust him far more than I would ever trust you. This is my body and I refuse to let you harm my brother with it. Now… GET OUT!
As Shadow roared, an inexorable wave of darkness exploded in his mind, ejecting Bellum with intentional force.
Shadow slowly returned to himself and removed his talon. A small trickle of blood dripped from the spot where it had been placed. For a moment, Shadow stood there trembling. He couldn’t believe he had almost killed his own brother.
Jarid opened his eyes and looked up at him, his eyes watering with joy and relief. He took a deep shaky breath before exploding forward to embrace Shadow with all his strength, nearly knocking the young dragon off his feet.
“I am so sorry, Shadow. What they did to you here must have been horrible. I’m sorry for not finding you sooner I looked everywhere. I was so afraid I wouldn’t be able to find you. Then, when they announced that the prize for the tournament was a Night Wing, I knew it had to be you. I won’t ever leave you alone again. I promise.”
Shadow could feel his brother’s tears trickling down his scales. His own eyes burned as he returned his embrace. But the moment was soon interrupted as Bellum’s voice entered Shadow’s head once more. Shadow instantly prepared to fight him off, but Bellum made no attempt to manipulate Shadow’s consciousness.
It would seem I misread you, dragonet. I still cannot understand how a dragon and human can be so attached. You disappoint me.
Even though Shadow felt a painful twinge at that comment he was too furious at the moment to care.
How could you, Master! No. Bellum. You almost made me kill Jarid!
Shadow could feel Bellum’s disdain as he mentioned his brother’s name, but his tone was even as he spoke.
You are no longer my student, disobedient Night Wing. Your actions have severed the future I hoped for you. My plan to allow you and your friends to escape is now ruined. Though, if you do end up escaping, I may allow you to return to my tutelage once more. It would be such a waste to lose a dragon whose mental prowess can match and even exceed a fraction of my own. But you will never be able to achieve true power while that human holds you back.
That human has a name, Shadow growled. His name is Jarid!
Hmph. He is a mere boy, and I fear he may be the very source of your naivety. But I see now that destroying him by force would do more harm to your mind than good. If you should leave this place alive I will see you again. Until then, little Night Wing.
Shadow felt Bellum’s presence fade away, and at the same time, the gaze that he’d felt on him since he entered the arena lifted. Shadow noticed a dark figure in the special seating walk away but he couldn’t see who it was.
The crowd had been muttering ever since Jarid had embraced Shadow, but now their muttering had turned to booing. Spectaculum strode out onto his podium in fury.
“What do you think you are doing, Champion Jarid? Finish that monster this instant!”
Jarid stepped back and cupped Shadow’s face in his hands with a smile. Everything is going to be alright.
Shadow was glad to hear his brother’s thoughts once more but the noise of the crowd was too loud so he put up a barrier to reduce the noise. As he did so, he realized how much he had come to depend on Bellum's barrier when creating his own. He may not have been able to block out everything but muting the noise was still better than nothing.
Jarid stood and turned to face the announcer. “Can you not see? This dragon is no monster. The moment I removed my helmet. He held back his blow. And even now he refuses to strike me while my back is turned. I, Jarid Dracoulis, stake my life on this claim.”
That caused the crowd to stir and begin muttering among themselves, but Jarid wasn’t finished.
“In fact, since this dragon’s head was to be my prize, I shall instead claim him as my mount. He shall serve me at Dragon Rider Academy as I finish my training. Rather than simply killing him, would it not be a far greater feat to tame him? See for yourselves how I have already made him subservient,” Jarid looked back at Shadow and quietly gestured for him to bow. Shadow quickly played along, bowing so low his chin scraped the sand of the arena floor.
Jarid turned back to the crowd. “He is already loyal to me. Together, we will become the greatest dragon and rider this kingdom has ever seen!”
The crowd roared in excitement at his announcement. Seeing that he had their approval, Jarid gestured for Shadow to follow him to the arena gate. But as they approached a group of three men in armor leapt from above the gate. The one in the middle used wind magic to cushion their fall before stepping forward to confront Jarid.
“Flight leader Jarid. I am Tarkin of the King’s Knights. You are hereby ordered to hand the Night Wing over to be secured.”
Shadow watched in surprise as Jarid snapped to attention and saluted the knight.
“Sir! As you can see. I have full command over this Night Wing. As the tournament stated he was to be mine as a prize for becoming the tournament champion. Therefore I ask that you recognize my ownership of this dragon and request that he be released to me once his obedience to me is proven. In case you were not made aware. Dragon Rider Academy has introduced new rules dictating captured dragons with potential to be ridden are not to be harmed for any reason if taming by other means is successful.”
Tarkin removed his helmet. His dark hair was streaked back and looked recently trimmed. He had a handsome face but his smile was full of disdain.
“Well, you may not be aware that this dragon is not yours to claim. Its body belongs to the colosseum director. You were merely entitled to its head. Once it has been butchered you may claim your prize. The rest of the scales, wings, organs, etcetera will be sold to recover the costs of purchasing the creature.”
Shadow felt his blood run cold. Hearing someone so casually talking about chopping him up and selling his body made him feel sick.
“You misunderstand sir. I plan to pay for him of course. I merely wish to emphasize that I don’t want my future mount to be harmed.” Jarid kept his voice light and respectful but Shadow could sense the nervousness in his words.
Tarkin lost his smile as his words became deadly serious. “No. You misunderstand, cadet. This dragon is the last Night Wing. The king wants their putrid bloodline completely eradicated. They are pathetic weaklings with no magic. Assigning a dragon rider to one of these as a mount is an insult and a risk to their safety. The only potential use they have is in being dissected for their parts.” Then Tarkin’s eyes narrowed.
“Besides. You already have a partner, don’t you?”
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139,267 Literary Works • 672,523 Reviews
Good evening est! I didn't have to fortune to read your previous chapters, but I wanted to kick this out of the Green Room to finish off Review Day. Although I am missing large (and important) parts of the story, I still am able to grasp some ideas of the plot from the dialogue and characterization.
I am unfamiliar with all of these characters and worldbuilding, but I was immediately hooked from the first sentence. Apparently, Shadow has been mind controlled by Bellum to kill his own brother, and he tries to fight through it. Mind control is a horrible thing, and any character who forces their victim to attack their loved ones is one of the worst villains out there.
Aww. Jarid. The fact that he even apologizes for not being able to help Shadow hurts my heart, but he trusts him completely. And it empowers Shadow enough to break free.
The relationship between these two is so sweet, and it's the driving force for this chapter. The action and emotional beats are both intense and gripping. It shows that despite Jarid and Shadow solidifying their bond, others are not fully accepting of that. Great final line here too! I'm so glad I found your work!
Thanks so much for taking a look at my story. I hope you enjoyed.
Good morning!
hmmm. I know what you mean here but I don’t find the phrasing all that interesting. Maybe you could instead focus more on what it feels like or what it MEANS that he cant stop him completely?It took a while but your story finally came up in the Green Room sweep 😊 (And look at the progress in the Green Room!!)
Last time, Shadow realized finally he’s fighting Jarid (and Jarid is fighting for his standing in my eyes hehe), against Bellum’s greatest efforts.
Now let’s see how this continues
(tho putting the fact that Shadow wins in the summary of the second part kinda spoiled everything for me; Kinda hard NOT to see that when you post them back to back. I mean, it was obvious Shadow would eventually win, but there was ambiguity in how long it too. A chapter, or an arc. Now you basically already told me it wouldn’t take even ONE chapter)
But well, I guess the choice to put it in the summary is probably based on the fact that Shadow LITERALLY breaks free in the first 3 paragraphs xd
I find the phrasing of “the difference in his own thoughts” very interesting! I wish you would have elaborated more because I believe it means he realized that Bellum has been feeding him thoughts?
Also is it really so easy to get away from Bellum’s will. I think that part has been pretty clear in the exchange he made with him. But his control over Shadow’s BODY is the new thing that wasn’t agreed on. Bellum didn’t call in the favour after all.
“As both their minds connected his body,” sounds like there is a word missing here?
You have tears welling for the second time now.
I’m also a bit disappointed in Bellum. Ach, why are you so evil. You could have been so smart and manipulative while working around Jarid’s presence. But perhaps, he feared that he could not win against Jarid’s influence over Shadow…
Oh that is good phrasing :3
Hmm how does Jarid know Shadow is struggling internally with something that can be encouraged with “You can do it”? I mean he cant read minds… and his next words make it sound as if he thinks Shadow’s behaviour is due to mistreatment and not because he let EVIL into his mind. So… why have Jarid say “you can do it”? What exactly does he see that warrants such a statement? Is it bc he saw Shadow hesitating? Well then maybe saying “you can do it” is not exactly smart? I just… I don’t get it o.o
Also interesting that Shadow ALSO doesn’t see that. The way Shadow behaves makes it seem as if Jarid really was talking about his struggle with Bellum. Because what I thought would happen next was Shadow despairing some more precisely because it’s not HIM controlling his body so no matter how much Jarid trusts HIM, it has no bearing on the outcome atm.
I still understand that Jarid’s trust is a motivating factor and the reason Shadow overcomes Bellum here, but the entire buildup feels wrong since the characters behave as if they have every piece of information rather than you finding a solution that makes sense for what they actually know.
Like, Jarid can still throw himself on the sword for Shadow, and the trust he has motivates Shadow to become worthy of it and fight off Belllum---while still keeping that in mind.
For Jarid that would mean: “Oh no, my brother is so traumatized, he’s no longer recognizing me, I will show him I can be trusted”
And for Shadow that would mean “Oh no, Jarid has the situation wrong, Bellum is controlling me—I need to overcome my own weakness and save him!”
…That too I don’t understand: Bellum should know the answer? Is he a good telepath or not?
Ach mensch, I know you set this up pretty neatly but I still think Shadow ejecting Bellum is kinda underwhelming. And it’s not Jarid’s fault (he did everything right except that weird line abt you can do it). It’s more that… Bellum falls so short of expectations. I thought we would get a bit more mental struggle.
…Did Jarid look everywhere? *raises eyebrow in doubt*
Hmmm I think Bellum came away from this with a net loss. I also don’t really see how the dragon kids can’t NOT escape now. You closed all routes of tension in that regard by hinging everything on the fight with Jarid here.
Hmmm interesting. No acknowledgement that this was hard for him before and that he needed to use Bellum’s power? [quote]so he put up a barrier to reduce the noise.[/quote
I do like that Jarid knows how to play the crowd. That takes a different kind of courage.
Well I do like this twist of wording. I feel appeased and ready for the tension in the second part now 😊
Love the final line here. I hope we get at least a comment from Shadow over it next part!
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So glad to see you again
I plan to reveal later that Bellum is the same one who is controlling the dragons with the green gems if that wasn't already obvious. So he basically uses parallel minds to split his power between all those he is controlling. This allows me to adjust how much power he can use at any time by saying he happened to be using his power elsewhere at the time. It's also why he can't simply take over Shadow's mind or body outright.
I hope these chapters have at least elevated Jarid a little in your books. But I wanted to respond to your thoughtful comments. (I did some editing based on these already)
First of all, sorry for the spoiler. I never really considered having the story shift to Jarid rescuing Shadow who is basically possessed by Bellum at that point. Would have been a cool idea for sure.
I liked your comment that Bellum could have worked around Jarid. He probably could have (if only I had more space in this book to write about it). Honestly though, I kind of had to nerf Bellum's character a bit so that he wouldn't just instantly win at the start of my series. My explanation for why he seems less strong here is
Spoiler
I've adjusted the Jarid encouraging Shadow scene a bit but I wanted to keep that first line as a fun spot where Shadow (who has been hiding the fact he is a mind reader) suspects Jarid of reading his mind.
I may adjust it more in the future though.
As for why Bullum doesn't understand why Shadow can't sacrifice Jarid despite his telepathy. It's not that he doesn't know the reason, he simply can't understand it. He is so lacking in empathy that he can't comprehend the value Shadow places on their relationship.
I may need to make it more clear, but yes, Jarid did look everywhere. His friends were even caught trying to look in the dungeon.
I added a bit to how Shadow puts up his mental barrier. Though I want to point out that he was never using Bellum's power for that. Shadow just used the mental image of Bellum's power as a kind of guide or crutch. Another ploy from Bellum to both make Shadow more reliant on him and to give Bellum a backdoor through such a barrier if Shadow uses his image to create it.
It sounds to me like maybe this book could have used a few more chapters to make everything happen properly
I understand that it has always been Shadow who uses his own power to create the mental barrier. I just thought he wasn't aware of that. That he thought he needed Bellum's power to supplement his own. At least this is how I understood this interactions from the previous chapters?