ya ya i know it's a little wierd

Hey dogs.

Okay, so where do I start? I suppose I should start out first that this isn't exactly a poem. I'm not sure that I've ever read a poem compressed into one paragraph.

Secondly, is all of the mistakes (both grammatically and spelling wise) left in. It may not bother you, but it bothers me, and besides, it would be easier to understand. That includes capitalizing and correct punctuation.

Thirdly, it gives the reader a lot of questions to think about, but not a whole lot of time to think about each and every question before moving on to the next. It's kind-of overwhelming, in it's own way.

Good idea, just a bad poem to start with. Maybe if you spend some time on some serious editing, it would flow better.

See ya later.

zOe

Hello, Dogs! Welcome to YWS!

YWS has a 2:1 ratio policy, which means that before you post one thing, you should complete two reviews.

[s]what[/s] What is the point in life? Is it to[s] fell[/s] feel joy or to have choice.
[s]bud [/s] But, do we really have choice? [s]des[/s] Does the dog have the choice of eating the food in his bowl? What if we can't find joy or have choice? [s]i [/s] is life pointless [s]than[/s] then? why must we suffer for [s]adam and eve's[/s] Adam and Eve's mistake? Why must we be punished for having the gift of knowledge? If there really is someone up there, why does he allow pain and sorrow[s].[/s]? Why is evil and cruelty allowed in the world[s].[/s]? is there good and evil, or is there just people. people who chose to be good or evil. but does one have a [s]choce[/s] choice between being good or evil. if one is born in to a cruel [s]enviorment[/s] environment. if all one has known is pain and suffering. or is what we call evil what we don't understand. what if reality is just [s]misory[/s] misery and hurt. and endless fall into a [s]botumless[/s] bottomless casum??. filled with the pain of memory. the power to haunt us all where ever we go. an [s]unexscabable[/s] inescapable curse. what if. what if...

ouch darko, way to give helpful criticism.

alright dogs, heres the thing: i don't exactly know what you were trying to do with this peice, but it's got a lot of problems. first of all, it's all in one line, and i'm pretty sure that's not how it's supposed to be. at least i hope not. secondly, the spelling and grammar was absolutely horrendous. if for some reason you did that on purpose, you need to NOT do in on purpose because i for one can't really tell. and if it was a bunch of mistakes, then please fix them because they make the peice rather ridiculous, which makes people like darko tell you to be serious. i don't care about capitalization and crap, but for the most part please try to write in decent english.

despite how wierd this peice is, i will say that i like the thoughts behind it. i mean that's some important stuff right there, some really important questions. i don't think that questions like that necesarily belong in a poem, though. because you certainly haven't answered any of them, and because of the confusing format of the poem, you have hardly left your readers with anything to think about or contemplate. i mean you can't just start a poem with

"what is the point in life?"

and end with

"what if reality is just misory and hurt. and endless fall into a botumless casum. filled with the pain of memory. the power to haunt us all where ever we go. an unexscabable curse. what if."

there is not really a point to your poem. i wish i could answer every single question you posed, but a. i cant, and b. even if i tried, it would take a freaking novel to explain everything. but since i'm here already, i'm going to tell you to please look up this song, its called "truth" and its by an artist named Lecrae. The album is "rebel". LOOK IT UP. LISTEN TO THE LYRICS. it really discusses a lot of the types of questions that people have about life, much similar to the ones you have asked. Just try it.

yea so overall, good questions, bad poem.

Be serious.