Young Writers Society

dogs wrote:@

This strange, odd, curious symbol.
It’s a small whirlpool
Whirling off into infinite
A bottomless pit,
Falling down in to nothing.
Or a large coliseum, (kind of out of place since you talk about animals the rest of it)
A lion’s mouth always hungry for more.
The eye of an irresistible puppy, (how?)
And the tail of a rat.
Deceiving and unpredictable. (human rat? personified rat? actual rat?)
She lay in wait, (Rats are not carnivores but if you mqke it sound like they are attacking aomething then go for it!)
Waiting for the kill.

It was creative but it was very short and I'm sorry but it seemed to have no point in the end. How you said it was like a puppy was nice and all but I think you could have put a little more effort into it.

What I liked in the poem was the idea. I liked how you just picked up the small symbol
and made a poem out of it.

A good effort, but like others noted, it had some flaws.

Good!

Alright, got it, the @ symbol looks like all of these things. But what's the greater significance? I could find clouds all day that look like any one of these things. What makes the @ symbol unique? What should we care that it looks like any of these things? You've left this question maddeningly unanswered. Please answer it.

Also...

dogs wrote:@

This strange, odd, curious symbol.
It’s a small whirlpool,
Whirling off into infinite. (Shouldn't it be infinity?)
A bottomless pit,
Falling down in to nothing.
Or a large coliseum,
A lion’s mouth always hungry for more. (These two lines didn't fit for me wheres the link beetween them?)
The eye of an irresistible puppy,
Or the tail of a rat.
Deceiving and unpredictable.
She lay in wait,
Waiting for the kill.
(Ending also didn't seem to make sense, who is "she")