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140,509 Literary Works • 673,268 Reviews
OOO i love it... I always say this. *rolls eyes* but i love it all the same. Just like Anna said; another beautiful Poem of yours. This time I'm glad it isn't about your view on my divine snow or rain.
i cant come up with anything elseeeee............. ShootingStars stole everything. Ok bye. 
Just one thing since ShootingStars said all the rest in your third para you spelled Staring as starting.
I think the best thing about this was the fact that you connect it to how everyone while growing up feels a little like your poem. We deceive ourselves for what others want us to be, then we forget who we really are. Your poem is a wake-up call.....
Hi, Dogs! This Shooting Stars, your reviewer today.
First I must say I really liked this poem! The concept was great and I can tell you put a lot of thought into it. However, as wonderful as your poem may be, there are just a FEW mistakes I noticed. They're pretty small, but still mistakes.
First one:
"...I see. When I realized the reflection is me." When you wrote the word 'realized', you changed from present tense to past tense. 'Realize' should become 'realize'. Also, I think a comma needs to be after 'see', not a period if you use the word 'when'. It makes the next sentence a fragment the way that it's written currently. Or, if you'd like to keep the period, then swap out 'when' for 'then'.
Second:
"Who is that face I see, staring straight back at me?" The last two lines ended with 'see' and 'me' also, making the next lines feel repetitive. You're the author, though so change what you will.
And this too:
"I decieve the world..." Just a minor typo here. 'Decieve' is actually 'deceive', but it's okay. EVERYBODY gets words like these confused, just be sure to look for typos again when you reread and edit over. One memory trick I learned in second grade really helps 'deceive' and other words not get confused. It goes like this: "'I' before 'e', except after 'c'." This applies here.
I seriously think that this is a great poem, and the title isn't as bad as you make it sound. I LOVE the ending for some reason, but in my opinion it's very powerful. Who Is My Shadow was a fun piece to read, and really got me thinking. Awesome work!
---Shooting Stars
Thanks for the review stars! lol wow I never knew about the "decieve" "deceive" thing. For some reason the spell check on the new site and on my computer go on and off every once in awhile so sorry for the typos. And the ending of the 1st stanza really conflicts with the beginning of the first stanza I know, it's kinda repetitive in too close of proximity. And ok I'll change the period after "see", thanks so much for your comments! It really helps!
TuckEr EllsworTh
I love that song, my sister won her first talent show singing that song. Anyways, I love the second stanza because I think it best reflects (no pun intended) what the original song is about. I also liked how the third stanza felt more personal. I love the lines "Why must I live inside my shadow?" but excempting that, I think the poem would be better with just the second and third stanzas because the first and third felt pointless.
Hope this helps, as always you've written a beautiful poem.
Thanks Anna! It's great to see you again, its been forever! Anywho, thanks so much for the review, I think you might be right and maybe I should take out the first stanza, I'll take a look at it. I don't want to take out the last stanza tho because I feel like that is really what strongly conveys the war I am waging (this poem is about me yes) within myself and what happens when two different sides of you collide. But thanks! Give me a PM if you ever need a review!!!
It's so true! I bet so many people live inside their shadows (I know I do a bit!) so it's really a great poem in the way of 'connecting with your audience.'
Only one little tid-bit I have about it. In the first stansa you said, "When I realized the reflection is me." I think this should probably, "When I realize the reflection is me." So as it's all talking in ... damn, forgotten what it's called... um, where you say what's happening right then instead of in the past. AHA! Present tense, there we go!
... Anyway! I love your poem, it's really cool, and you're really talented. I would have said this earlier but I haven't been on YWS for AGES! I like the idea of writing the new post in your status, it's a good idea, now that the sites changed so much... grr. Anyway (again), great work, and I hope to read more of your poetry because it's always a pleasure.