Sugar coated words

by dogs

Published February 8, 2012

In Emotional Poetry

Sticky sweetness hangs in the air,
and chases away all my despair,
as its melodic tone fills my ear
with sugary syrup, and everything sincere.

Your voice, it's so perfect and sweet,
from your lips sugar coated words secrete,
cooing like a beautiful angel
that fell from an enchanted fable.

Those flawless lips murmer: "I love you,"
encasing my heart in drops of dew
with the sugary honey that seeps from your
mouth, a voice so peerless and pure.

A sound so intoxicatingly sweet,
makes my sugar coated heart skip a beat.
Encased in your love, my head begins to spin,
and now I refuse to keep it hiddin.

And my heart, you have renewed,
so all I can say is: "I love you too."
Comments & reviews · 4
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hudz96
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hudz96 commented Comment · Feb 15, 2012

:P :P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P :P
If i say this is extremely cute what would you say??

dogs replied · Feb 15, 2012

I would say thank you :), and he's going to love it :D hopefully, he hasn't heard it yet...

creativityrules wrote a review Review · Feb 9, 2012

Hello there, Tucker! Rosie here! :D

This poem definitely reflects its title. It definitely felt very sugary and sweet, and although I'm not usually a huge fan of these types of poems, I genuinely did like this one. It was gushy, but you did it very well and it was thoroughly awesome.

But, like always, I do have one or two little suggestions. In the sixth line, the word "secrete" simply seems out of place. Perhaps it's just because of the associations I have with it; usually I come across it in science books when the hunting strategies of poisonous toads are being described, so it seems out of place to me in this poem. However, this is entirely my opinion, and the next person who reads this piece might find no problem with it. :D

The only other thing I'm unsure about is the spelling of one of the words used a few times in this. In your title, you wrote "Suger Coted." I think you might've meant to spell that "coated" - meaning, of course, covered or encased by.

As always, great work, Tucker! I can't wait to see what you come up with next!

-Rosie

dogs replied · Feb 9, 2012

Thanks so much for the comment Rose :). Lol ironically me and "secrete" have a completely different associations with each other, quite the opposite from yours. Thank you for pointing out the "coated" misspelling. Keep on writing and let me know if you need a review!



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