Hey guys!!! It's been a really long time since I've posted, so I thought I'd put one up. I'm sure there are plenty of spelling errors and this piece is honestly soooooooooo rusty and needs a lot of work, so by all means tear it apart! Hehe sometimes I can't believe my life is so happy that I think I'm dreaming. Happy reading!!!
Songs of the sea
singing sweet
llulabies to me.
Dew drops cling
to the moonlit grass.
As minty air
blows soft melodies
across an enchanting sea.
Coiled in a cocoon
of tender grass,
surrounded by roses
that coo and laugh,
lies a sleeping angel.
Glimmering with light,
he illuminates the night.
Glowing in his slumber,
raindrops glisten like diamonds,
while grass shimmers like emeralds.
Oh Beautiful dreamer,
please always love me.
With just a smile
you freeze my heart.
And with you here,
it'll never fall apart.
Music chimes
whenever you fly.
Your beautiful eyes
lull me to sleep as
you dance across the skies.
At the brush
of your gentle lips,
my breath is sucked away
and replaced with minty sweetness.
So the only thing I can say
is "Will you please stay?"
Don't let me fall,
please don't run away
and leave my dream to decay.
These emeralds will wilt
and my stars shall fall astray
if you ever fade away.
I love you, I love you it's true.
And when I'm dreaming,
I'm always thinking of you.
TuckEr EllsworTh (insert signature smily robot face here)
Hello!
I really enjoyed this poem. In fact, I've been reading poems more or less all day on both this website and other places on the web, and I can say this is the first poem to really grab my intention.
Creativity and flow were the best parts of the poem in my opinion. The first stanzas of the poem start out rather normal in what they describe, but later on things start to get incredibly imaginative. While the descriptions became more and more vibrant as the poem went on, the pacing of the poem stayed the same, giving a sense of calmness when the reader thought of this "Beautiful Dreamer."
This was a wonderful poem, all in all. Every stanza gave me a sense of enjoyment and read incredibly well. My favorite one was the final stanza, but of course that may be the most subjective part of reading and judging poems.
Good job and keep writing!
Ben Dietz.