Love Like a Bird

Hello. Hassan here with a review.

I liked the flow in this poem. The line length was consistent and this made the poem flow beautifully. I just feel that you might have over-punctuated it. I think this may work better without any sort of punctuation. It's that kind of a poem.

I loved the feel of love drifting around, searching for a place to call "home".
This made me love the ending all the more.

Nice work!

Rating: 9/10

Hassan

Hello, darling~ Here to review!

First of all, I really like the analogy that you bring throughout the entire piece. I feel like it could have been stronger, but it is fairly well thought-out, and you use appropriate images for your subject material. I especially like the idea of love being like a bird, and finding your home in a place where you might not have thought to find it before.

There's definitely a theme of wandering and trying to find a niche in this poem, so it's bound to resonate with a lot of people. You've got a very wide, wide topic, though, so you'll have to work on making sure that all of your images are spot-on, exactly how you want them to be.

As far as critique goes, I feel like a lot of your lines end in punctuation when they really don't need to. If you would write out the lines like a paragraph instead of a poem, would you be able to justify every little comma? Some of it may be artistic choice, but at the same time, readers may find it extremely distracting, especially since it gives the piece a lot of odd pauses.

In fact, a lot of the time, your punctuation is interrupting the poetic images, and your images really aren't half-bad, so it's kind of a shame that they're being lost in the mire of commas and periods. I would honestly suggest that you look through this and cut every unnecessary comma - you don't need to end a line in punctuation, no matter what you may think, and I think that once you get past that little roadblock, you've got some pretty cool poems in there.

Keep writing!

Hi dbrick!

Kana here for your poem on this lovely Review Day! To start off, I like your poem and the concept behind it. I can make sense of the metaphor you used. Love being like a bird where they build a nest and take off to build their own families like those who are in love do. But I do find it a bit confusing on why a bird? Still, I do find it a very good metaphor overall.

I think you could add a bit more emotion into it. It feels a bit flat in away. I guess I can understand the poem itself but I don't really feel emotional about it, I guess? Still, this poem was beautifully written and it flows very nicely together and I couldn't see any mistakes with your grammar and spelling so, nicely done!

I think you did very well overall! Keep writing and I'll be sure to look into more of your works! If you have any questions about the review, feel free to message me!

Sincerely,
Soulkana

Hey, yo, dbrick! Strangelove here on this Review Day and I have a review for you! Pardon me as I might be a little rusty, reviewing is still kicking in.
Though all I do is review poetry, and is getting used to it, the meaning does confuddle me. The topic of this poem is very simple, "one is like a bird, building nests and loving. Love like a bird." I think the message would be more clearer if it was "Love Like A Rabbit". I do like things about it, don't get me wrong, but the execution of the message feels, for the lack of a better word, flat.
The flow is rather well done. It is fluent, and doesn't stop through the poem. The poem is longer than other, but it flows well. It makes it worthwhile. Though the message is very simple to the fault, I did like it.
Those opening four lines just bother me. They don't feel right. It feels conjoined, and has no real meaning until the end. What the first lines say is that birds get around. So, loving like a bird is to mate like a rabbit. It doesn't have that much of an appropriate meaning, does it?
Ah, well, I liked it.
Overall, okay job.
Strangelove gives you...
6.3/10
Good job,
Keep writing,
Stay groovy, my friend.

This poem is very well-written and the imagery is very creative. The moral is very relatable by cleverly using a life of bird to describe your life experience. The Journey concept was very original especially the words like "Love like a bird, Flying here and there, It whispers but a single word." it symbolizes the average life of an ordinary person brilliantly
The poem is easily of the most original and creative works you've done keep the good work!

Hi dbrick, Amindor here.
Your poem is pretty deep and has a great flow. I may be new on here, but, of course, I still know a lot of things about literature. (I'm not an expert yet, though.) I don't really see any errors in this, although I'm still not sure. The poem is brilliant. I love it.