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Young Writers Society



Change

by dbrick


Change is an unavoidable consequence of life. It keeps you on your toes and challenges you, preventing staleness in everyday activities. For these reasons, change is good; but you must be able to learn to be content and not demand change in order to always be occupied with something new. On the contrary, one’s morals and values can break down and change, leading to immoral

choices and sin. In this case change can be a bad thing. Change can then be good or bad, it all depends on the situation and the thing that is changing.

C.S. Lewis gave his opinion about change in his book, The Screwtape Letters. Through the demon uncle, Screwtape, C.S. Lewis said that human beings greatly desire change. They desire to remain in movement and entertained by new opportunities, always wanting the new thing.

Through this longing, demons and sin nature can lead people to never be content, always needing a new or different job, house, car, etc. On the contrary, C.S. Lewis says that humans fear not changing and being stagnant. They wish to not do the “regular old thing”, or their life will be boring.

I have experienced change in my own life as well. When my dad divorced my mom, a lot of things changed in my life that I couldn’t control; change had come like a runaway train. My dad then moved out and I saw him much less. Because of all of the changes in my life at home and with my dad, I had a lot of anger, sadness, disappointment, and confusion. I did not react the right way and held those emotions inside. After some advice from my mom, I decided to begin regularly

meeting with my youth pastor and discussing what had happened. After I started doing this, it took a great deal of strain off of me because I was able to let my emotions out and also receive counseling on how to be a Godly man that I was not receiving from my dad.

C.S. Lewis’s opinions on change, that humans always want something new and different, were spot on; except for one point. He failed to mention how being stagnant can be a temptation and become a snare to one’s life. Many times change can be uncomfortable, so human beings will often avoid change in order to stay comfortable (and often times lazy). This can lead to never progressing in life, never growing in your faith, and in the end, not really caring about what

you do with the time you have on planet earth. Therefore, change is an important thing, whether we choose the change or whether the change chooses us. We must trust God through all of the change, doing everything to His glory and looking forward to the coming Kingdom of Christ. And we can be comforted that God will never change, he is the perfect and almighty Creator of the universe.


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68 Reviews


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Sun Nov 24, 2013 5:34 am
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Archer wrote a review...



I thought this was a great personal essay. Really good job.

Here's why I thought it was great:
- First, you begin by setting a sound foundation for what you think Change is. This is important because it allows the reader to see where you're coming from, and it gives the reader a sound foundation as well from which to read the rest of the work.

- You then jump into a discussion about one person's viewpoint when it comes to change. If you had just given your own view, that wouldn't be anything necessarily interesting because everyone does that. Instead, you examine someone else's philosophy, and then apply it to your own life.

- You also didn't just apply to your own life, you gave us a glimpse into how you came to be the person that you are today. A lot of personal essays make the mistake of just discussing viewpoints about change, love, being a teenager, etc. in an abstract sense. Instead, you talk about change in a very concrete sense. What you did was extremely brave, and I applaud you for it.

- More than that though, you return back to CS Lewis, which gives the reader a very solid frame of reference on which to judge your essay. And even more significantly, you go beyond CS Lewis and add something new yourself. That is excellent.

Well done.




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Sun Nov 24, 2013 2:41 am
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Omi1 wrote a review...



Wow! I love that this is so centered around Christ! Dbrick, you are awesome! And C. S. Lewis too...he is probably one of my favorite authors of all time! Lol...moving on...

Your opening is good, it caught my attention. And both your diction and transitions are good, too... I hate giving you pointers because I have come to really respect your work, but here it is...and trust me, anything I say is to help improve even though you honestly don't need it. :)

"change is good" I would suggest not using the word 'good'... it's too broad...
"change can be a bad thing" I see how you are trying to create a parallel structure, a very brilliant idea and rather effective, but I think you could do a lot better than 'good' and 'bad'.

"It keeps you on your toes" This is cliche (and we all know how English teachers love cliche phrases...not).

"I" perspectives don't always bode well in essays and "you" is far worse. If my English teacher caught me using these words, she would flip (literally...). To avoid this I substitute "I" with "most people" or "many" and so on. And then I substitute "you" with "one"... seriously, it works like a charm.
Honestly though, I really appreciate your opinion, I believe opinion is a vital part of essay writing and the "I" perspective should be included...teachers (at least mine), however, do not.

"I had a lot of anger, sadness, disappointment, and confusion" ....couldn't you just say "I was angry, sad, disappointed, and confused" ..maybe it's just me but I feel like it would flow smoother.

When you talk about your parents divorce (and I feel bad saying this, cause I feel like that was a very emotional time for you), but could you also explain how the choices of others (namely your parents) affected those around them. You've kind of already done this, but you could certainly add more to this story.

I know it's probably just a pet peeve and everybody tends to do this (myself included), but do you think you could try cutting down on how many times you use the word "that". Idk, it just seems like such an illiterate word thrown in there are a filler or an easy transition between ideas.

"(and often times lazy)" First of all, using parenthesis shows an after thought, usually one that can not be interpreted in any other way. When you almost randomly throw them in, it takes credit away from your work. And lets be honest, lazy is not the most descriptive word in the book...try idle or nonproductive or something.

Is that the computer making breaks in paragraphs where no break should be?

"change is an important thing" .... again, 'thing' is very broad... why don't you try "change is vital..."

I would suggest that you look up synonyms for the word 'change'. I know it's the topic and all, but you must have used it nearly thirty times (if you'll pardon the hyperbole)...

I'm not sure what grade you are in, but if it's grade 12, I would strongly recommend not mentioning God in your essay unless it just fits so perfectly. Don't get me wrong, I love this essay and I love God, in fact, if I could, every essay I wrote would include God in one way or another, but a surprising number of teachers will decrease your mark for being "unoriginal" and "preachy" ...it's stupid for sure, but I also don't think it's worth the risk, especially since diploma's here are worth 50% of my mark...

Overall, that was amazing! And like I said I was being critical because I think you can really go somewhere with this. :) I hope (that if this was for marks) you got a good mark on this essay, you definitely deserved it!




dbrick says...


Hey, thanks for the review! I defininetly agree with you on pretty much all of your review. I wrote this over a year ago....so maybe I'll edit it some more tomorrow and see how it turns out!




Live your life how you want, but don't confuse drama with happiness.
— Ron, Parks & Rec