Like a toy
I lie here now,
used and forgotten.
I wait for someone to remember
to come and rescue me.
Like a toy
I am broken
used and forgotten
with no one to rescue me.
Never to be remembered.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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139,870 Literary Works • 672,780 Reviews
Wow when I go back and look at my old poems compared to my new its like "Wow, you still suck!"
Hey, dasiamari! I'll be reviewing this here poem today!
andFirst, let me say that I'm not the best at poetry, so I apologize if this review doesn't help you a lot!
I like this a lot. I like all the emotion behind it. It's so short, but it's says so much. Just a few things a caught, though:
Just a little typing error: there shouldn't be a space before the period.
I would put a comma after now.
I think there should be a comma after broken and maybe even after used. I think this is a personal choice, though, just like the one above this.
That's all I found! Great work!
~~Lee-Anna