Oh, how happy I am
To witness another magical night
On the emerald green woods
Where the nightingale would sing
A lament on my ears
As I sat back and relax
With my back on a tree
To admire the song and fireflies
Dancing on my feet.
Some random poem. Again.
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140,963 Literary Works • 673,788 Reviews
This poem seemed very up-lifting, somehow. Very high-spirited, I guess. It's lacking comma's, and periods, but other than that, it's awesome.
I like it! I was thrown off of what I thought I'd be reading by the title, though... I would highly recommend something like "Song of the Night" or something along those lines because you did not personify night in the poem, so the title becomes misleading. Love it!
Hey darkangel!
First off, I think I'll sound a bit harsh, but I'm only trying to help. My first impression of the poem was not a good one; I thought the combination of adjectives and description awfully cliché, like I expected those adjectives to those nouns. Maybe try to expand your vocabulary a bit? I know it's rather hard, but sometimes a more colourful use of words leads to a better poem.
I rather liked the idea, though, and the execution wasn't bad. There are two things wrong grammar wise, in my opinion. The capitalization of every first word on every line isn't needed, but there is something very important missing in this poem and that would be punctuation. I do think adding some would improve the poem.
However, considering the thought of the poem was rather interesting, I think it has a lot of potential.
Feel free to PM me if you have any questions and keep the good work!
- Kat
Oh, how happy I am
To witness another magical night
Onin the emerald green woodsWhere the nightingale would sing
A lament
onfor/in my ears add a comma here.As I
satsit back and relaxWith my back on a tree
To admire the song and fireflies
Dancing at my feet. Lovely ending. Kudos.
Don't capitalize the beginning of every line, poetry is a lot like prose in it's punctuation. You just have more freedom in poetry, that's all.
You have a really nice ending here. It remind me of of A Midsummer Night's Dream, It really has a dreamy quality to it. The punctuation is really what you need to work on. The language could be more complex, also. Other than that, the ideas are all there, you just need a few touch ups.
Good luck and keep writing!
-KatTrain
This is sweet. I like the simpleness of it, and how it just is. Sometimes I like a poem without deep, philosophical meaning to it, something that I can read and immediately understand and feel good about. That's what this poem is. It's peaceful, relaxing, and sweet. Keep writing!
Still great poem Can't wait to read more keep up the good work. Good luck and Happy Writing!!!!!!!!
Soulkana<3