Published July 14, 2026
*This story is underneath my folder titled “Adventures of Poppy and others”. Gacha Club character designs are under this forum: https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/viewtopic.php?f=27&t=117842&start=105. Enjoy!*
Chapter One
The year was 1987. Jessica McLain was at the summer fair with her little sister, Poppy. Their parents had let them both wander off a little and so, Jessica was going to ride the carousel. She liked how the horses went up and down with jaunty pipe organ music, it looked like they would fly away from the attraction at any moment.
She wasn’t going to ride it alone, though. Poppy was going to go with her, because they had to stay together at all times.
“Can we please go to the haunted house after this?”
Chapter Two
Jessica turned to look at Poppy, who had kept saying all day that she wanted to go into the carnival’s “haunted house”. They weren’t going to do it, Jessica kept telling her that, but Poppy wasn’t listening.
“No. You’re too little. They won’t let you in.” Jessica said.
It was true. Poppy was four years old and the age requirement was eleven and up. Jessica was seven, so she was closer to that age, but still wasn’t old enough. That was fine. It wasn’t like she wanted to go in it anyway.
Poppy was different about that.
Chapter Three
She was wearing a fairy costume, just like Jessica, but she wanted to go on all the scary stuff. Jessica didn’t like it. The mean kids liked to scare her and she didn’t want Poppy to be like the mean kids.
“We already went on the carousel so many times, it’s boring!” Poppy cried out, stomping her foot. There were tears in her eyes, which meant that she would start screaming soon. Jessica hoped that it wouldn’t happen, the screaming hurt her ears.
She wished that Mommy and Daddy were with them at the moment. They always knew what to say to Poppy. She just wanted to go on the rides and have fun without Poppy complaining, but her bottom lip was trembling, so Jessica hastily said:
“Please don’t cry, we’re going to have fun! Do you want to go on the pink horse? I’ll let you go on the pink one and I’ll-“
“NO! I don’t want to go on the stupid carousel so don’t make me!”
She then let go of Jessica’s hand and took off running. Even through her blurry eyes, Jessica could already see the people looking at her, judging her.
Poppy was younger, but her words still hurt a little. Jessica didn’t want her sister to be mad at her.
She wiped away her tears as best as she could, then she too began running.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,247 Literary Works • 674,329 Reviews
Interesting.
I liked how the first sentence was 'The year was 1987.' It gives it a dramatic sort of feel. The story makes me wonder a few things, mostly where are their parents? It was touched upon in Chapter Three.
One thing I noticed was that a lot of the sentences, especially at the beginning, were Subject + Verb + Noun. Like it says, 'It was true. Poppy was four years old and the age requirement was eleven and up. Jessica was seven, so she was closer to that age, but still wasn’t old enough. That was fine.'
Or, you could make it like this: 'It was true. As a four year old, Poppy was far under the age requirement - 11 years old and up. Jessica, seven years old, was also too young. She didn't mind, though.'
Anyway, just a suggestion.
Great job so far!
-CherryScriptAMK
^v^
And one more story today. Hmmm I’m trying to place Jessica but I can’t seem to remember her original story very well. But hey, this is her origin so I hope I can follow along :3
Ohh I find it interesting that Poppy already was into scary things at such a young age!
And that she finds carousels boring too! A very unusual child. I also like Jessica’s reaction to the tantrum, very fitting for her age! I can understand the feeling of always being saddled with a younger sibling, always having to cater to their whims ☹ Especially since you’re caring and everyone is judging you for not being enough…
Poor Jessica ☹
Join the fight! Write more reviews!
I had a shorter origin for her where she’s 19: Jessica’s story-The adventures of Poppy McLain but I’m trying to write more about her in depth.
Thx for reading!
This is great! I really like the setting, and the dialogue is awesome!! The characters have a really realistic feel to it. This is a really good story. I love how the story is from the 1800's. It's the kind of good old-timey feel. I love it. The only thing I would do is turn it ALL into 1 chapter instead of three. But, other than that, it's a great start! 😁
I’m glad you liked it and thx for the advice! It takes place in the 1980s, not the 1800s.