Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for mature content.
*This story is underneath my folder titled “Perdita and Thorne…”. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs<33[2]”. Enjoy!*
The shovel itself wasn’t too heavy for her to hold, for she was a vampire and things hardly had any weight on them, but it still strained her arms to make a hole.
Perdita was in the Avenal family garden, digging a hole for her and Thorne to lie in. The moon was shining high in the blue-velvet sky. She had hunted with Thorne the other night, but she wasn’t doing it that night. She’d find animals to drink blood from somewhere in the rose bushes.
Her heart felt like it was making a lurch inside of her as she thought of drinking the blood out of living creatures, making them suffer just so she could exist for another day. The reason she was making the hole in the first place was so that she and Thorne could have a place to rest in once she killed them both. She already made the stake, she just needed the hole.
Perdita had it all planned out. She’d bring Thorne out to the garden the next night and tell him that she did not want to live as a monster anymore, but she still wanted to be with him. Then she’d fall backwards into the hole and stab herself with the stake. The end would stick out of her chest and maybe, Thorne would jump in so that he could be in her embrace, so his heart could also be stabbed and they’d be dead together.
She had been taken away from Thorne by his father and sent to the current timeline of the world, which was in the 2020s, but Thorne had eventually found her and made her a vampire, like him.
She loved him, she cared for him, but she hated being the cause of so many living creatures’ pain, and what decayed mess was left of her heart strangled itself upon hearing their cries.
Perdita’s eyes burned a little with tears, but she would keep digging the hole until it was deep enough to fit them both.
She’d dig all night if it meant saving their life.
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139,028 Literary Works • 672,398 Reviews
I know this has nothing to do with the story but I can’t help but have the lyrics for Devil on my Shoulder by Billy Talent on my mind. ~I dug a hole so deep I gotta drown in my mistakes…~
Okay, to the review!
Ah vampire! I’m happy! Actually that is part of the things I really enjoy about your stories. I like magical creatures!
…okay that took a quick dark turn. I feel for Perdita here. I like that she hasn’t lost her humanity and doesn’t like to kill to eat and it kinda pains me to see her plan something so drastic
But I do like that she doesn’t plan on killing Thorne, instead wanting to give him a choice. Can see why she’d think their death would be romantic like this.
I really like this line:
I%u2019m so glad you enjoyed this! And I never listened to that artist before, perhaps I should. :>
hey! :]
This is an exciting excerpt--though I am not familiar with the former chapters or how they connect to *this* moment in time--and I love to see when a story starts a scene 'late' with the assumption the reader is spectating rather than directly in on what's happening!
I did think this was a one-off / short story though. Towards in the middle section, it has a rushed quality, a sort of "I need to explain everything right now!". Those who aren't buddy-buddy with Perdita won't have the prior knowledge that she is a vampire, which happen to be weaker than humans / other supernatural beasts, or that there are multiple timelines going on, that Thorne is a reoccurring character in this universe, whatnot.
Her inner world is well-written, and I surprisingly love the humanist approach to vampires! I can't think of vampire lit I've liked in a long time, sans Twilight, so it is refreshing to see the horror genre expanded on. Her actual internal turmoil isn't very developed outside of that little glimpse at empathy from her, and there is little about who she is outside of her relationship troubles or what she wants to avoid becoming. I wonder if that is more expanded on elsewhere?
Tragic lovers as a trope is a classic, and I do agree it works very well in supernatural horror romances like this, but digging a hole for the both of them feels like a cliche misinterpretation of 'star-crossed lovers' or fate--we have seen Romeo and Juliet, doomed, forced to die in a mutual suicide pact--but is this meant to be an inversion of that classic story, or something other?
Personally, I wasn't sure what the italics was meant to do, and I can't see any ostensible reason to have them in the first place besides clarifying that paragraph is more emotionally important. There are other ways to do that, that would be more fitting for prose, such as italicizing specific quotes from dialogue, or using them sparingly to show bigger, more important moments. If she would, "dig all night if it meant saving their life," which is a very polar concept / a cliffhanger, then italicizing 'all night' could show how important it really is to her!
I hope this helps; have a good one!
lina
I%u2019m glad you enjoyed this! I have written other stuff about them under my folder titled %u201CPerdita and Thorne%u2026%u201D on my profile. If you want to check it out, then you may!