Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.
*This story is underneath my folder titled “Perdita and Thorne…” Gacha Club character designs are under this forum: https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/viewtopic.php?f=27&t=116005&start=1320. This is Thorne’s POV on turning Perdita into a vampire. Her POV is in the story “The mysteries of love” which is under the folder I mentioned. Anyway, enjoy!*
Thorne couldn’t believe it. Years he spent searching for her and he finally found her in a house, whisking her away from her bed and bringing her to his mansion. She looked unchanged from the day he met her, her green eyes bright as ever.
He brought Perdita close to him and kissed her, the blood on his lips staining her own. He had bit his bottom lip earlier and was letting her drink his blood, making sure not to waste a single drop.
When they both finished, she looked at him with wide, worried eyes. Why? She was his lost girlfriend. They deserved to be together.
“What’s wrong, Perdita? It’s only a bit of blood.”
“Blood?! But I’m not a vampire!” Perdita cried out.
Thorne internally sighed. He was going to have to explain it to her as nicely and quickly as possible, enough for her to know and not be scared.
“No, you weren’t. My father’s time machine immortalized you to be sixteen until I were to find you. If I were to ever see you again, you’d turn seventeen as soon as your birthday came. You would age, and I would stay young. I bit my bottom lip. You tasted my blood. With my blood in your veins, I now must bite you.”
She took a step back as if she wanted to run, but Thorne pulled her closer to him, his claws digging deep into her skin and brushed aside her ginger hair. She went stiff against him, her breaths short gasps.
Her peach-toned neck was exposed to him and so, he sunk his fangs deep into her flesh, deeper than when he bit his lip, letting the rich blood flow in between his parched lips like melted chocolate.
She would remember more about him later. But he could not let her get away for one second. If it felt cruel to her then, it would feel like Heaven later.
Perdita was going to stay forever.
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,739 Reviews
And now, this =D
Ohh more Perdita! Maybe now we find out why Thorne things she loves being a vampire!
Okay okay, and what an explanation we got!
I feel like Thorne’s kinda jumping the gun, rushing his explanation like this. And no wonder Perdita is so unhappy with that being sprung on her. There was a gentler way to say this xd
Poor Perdita ☹
Tho I feel like this sentence is kinda awkwardly phrased ☹ Especially in context! “With my blood in your veins, I now must bite you.”
Okay, there is no escape from Thorne, no wonder Perdita only saw that one way out… Tho I guess from what I read earlier, I at least gathered that she liked him back, just didn’t like their condition. This story tho makes Thorne seem so much more frightening and horrifying…
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I like this concept, the premise works really well. I feel that some ellipses and pauses may do the dialogue some favours, slowing the pace a little bit and making the realisation hit a bit more before he bites. It could definitely be bulked out a little more, it did feel like it was over too quickly. Maybe a realisation from her when she is bitten, then a slow relax into her fate.