*This story is underneath my folder titled “Perdita and Thorne…”. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs<33[2]”. Enjoy!*
Thorne smiled as he stared at the painting of a pale woman in a long, light blue dress, her azure eyes glittering with love, her lips curled into a sweet smile. Her dark brown hair had flowers weaved through the curls and there seemed to be an ethereal glow around her as she stood in a vibrant garden.
He knew that the painting was just a random woman, but she looked a lot like his Mom, who died when he was five years old, from getting infected by the metals from Dad’s inventions in the basement. At least, that was what Dad said when Thorne asked about how Mom died.
Looking at the painting, twelve year old Thorne liked to imagine that it was of Mom in Heaven, content to be with the angels’ flowers. Dad had gotten rid of all the flowers Mom left in their mansion and only the paintings and the fairytale stories were around to keep the colors of their otherwise dull mansion. Thorne took every opportunity to really appreciate the art, every fleeting moment to run off into the woods and pick up flowers for himself.
In fact, he had been staring at the painting for a while, it was time for him to go out flower picking!
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,739 Reviews
Aww what a cute story.
I like that he sees his mom in this and that he wants to imagine her in a better place. The description of the painting is also well done.
Just one tip. If you are talking about "his mom" then mom shouldnt be capitalised. But if you are using Mom instead of ...like a name, then it is capitalised. Like "Dad's inventions", you could just write "Leo's inventions", you can basically substitute it with a name. While "It looked a lot like his Lea..." might work, but it's not often written that way, right? So, rule of thumb: if you put something like "his" or "her" in front of dad or mom, they aren't capitalised. This concludes this grammar excurse. Have a nice day!
Hello! It's Cheerio!
This was a really beautiful piece. I unfourtunately don't have much to review. My apologies. I loved the description of his mother. She sounds beautiful.
I always love reading everything you write. You're so talented and creative.
You always have great series.
How do you come up with you ideas?
Anyway, I'll see you around.
Ciao!
~ Cheerio.
The ideas linger in my mind and I translate it as best as I can into writing.
Glad you enjoyed. ^v^
Hi! It’s CATS here to read more of your stories! Since this is a short and interesting read, I’ve decided to check it out, reviewing with my newly formed The CAT Opinion! Let’s dive in!
Flash Of Glowing Eyes
This part is what it looks like from a brief glance. I feel like this isn’t full of suspense, different from your other works! It looks peaceful, in a way. Maybe something about flowers, dreams, or paintings from the title. Great!
Soft Fur
This part is my favourite parts of your work.
Thorne smiled as he stared at the painting of a pale woman in a long, light blue dress, her azure eyes glittering with love, her lips curled into a sweet smile. Her dark brown hair had flowers weaved through the curls and there seemed to be an ethereal glow around her as she stood in a vibrant garden.
The beginning was very well done! Your descriptions are so vivid and realistic, I could imagine what beautiful woman Thorne’s mother was. This is my overall favourite!!! The details were beautiful. I also liked the second paragraph because of the memories.
Warm Purr
This is for the parts of the work where I think was very nicely done. The ending was very nice, how Thorne has to snap out of his sad memories of his mother. I wonder why?
The third paragraph was great and had details too, we learn more about the house.
Sharp Claws
This is where I think need suggestions for improvement. Maybe talk about the house a bit more, like what it looked like, and where the painting was positioned on the wall. That is all, because it is really good already!
Concluding Meow
Overall.
I feel like this short story is creative, more bright from your others, although I can sense foreshadowing about the real reason of Thorne’s mothers death. I don’t know yet...but I’m going to assume the dad is evil XD. I hope to read more from you in the future and can’t wait to hear more!!
Happy Writing, Happy Review Month, And Happy Reading!
Love,
CATS
OMG IS THIS A GLITCH!??? I"M SO SORRY FOR SPAMMING YOU WITH NOTIFS
It%u2019s okay. Glitches happen often on this site.
I appreciate your review and insight. Thank you for reading and I%u2019m glad you enjoyed.
No prob! Glad you liked
^v^
Hi! It’s CATS here to read more of your stories! Since this is a short and interesting read, I’ve decided to check it out, reviewing with my newly formed The CAT Opinion! Let’s dive in!
Flash Of Glowing Eyes
This part is what it looks like from a brief glance. I feel like this isn’t full of suspense, different from your other works! It looks peaceful, in a way. Maybe something about flowers, dreams, or paintings from the title. Great!
Soft Fur
This part is my favourite parts of your work.
Thorne smiled as he stared at the painting of a pale woman in a long, light blue dress, her azure eyes glittering with love, her lips curled into a sweet smile. Her dark brown hair had flowers weaved through the curls and there seemed to be an ethereal glow around her as she stood in a vibrant garden.
The beginning was very well done! Your descriptions are so vivid and realistic, I could imagine what beautiful woman Thorne’s mother was. This is my overall favourite!!! The details were beautiful. I also liked the second paragraph because of the memories.
Warm Purr
This is for the parts of the work where I think was very nicely done. The ending was very nice, how Thorne has to snap out of his sad memories of his mother. I wonder why?
The third paragraph was great and had details too, we learn more about the house.
Sharp Claws
This is where I think need suggestions for improvement. Maybe talk about the house a bit more, like what it looked like, and where the painting was positioned on the wall. That is all, because it is really good already!
Concluding Meow
Overall.
I feel like this short story is creative, more bright from your others, although I can sense foreshadowing about the real reason of Thorne’s mothers death. I don’t know yet...but I’m going to assume the dad is evil XD. I hope to read more from you in the future and can’t wait to hear more!!
Happy Writing, Happy Review Month, And Happy Reading!
Love,
CATS
Hi! It’s CATS here to read more of your stories! Since this is a short and interesting read, I’ve decided to check it out, reviewing with my newly formed The CAT Opinion! Let’s dive in!
This part is what it looks like from a brief glance. I feel like this isn’t full of suspense, different from your other works! It looks peaceful, in a way. Maybe something about flowers, dreams, or paintings from the title. Great!
This part is my favourite parts of your work.
The beginning was very well done! Your descriptions are so vivid and realistic, I could imagine what beautiful woman Thorne’s mother was. This is my overall favourite!!! The details were beautiful. I also liked the second paragraph because of the memories.
This is for the parts of the work where I think was very nicely done. The ending was very nice, how Thorne has to snap out of his sad memories of his mother. I wonder why?
The third paragraph was great and had details too, we learn more about the house.
This is where I think need suggestions for improvement. Maybe talk about the house a bit more, like what it looked like, and where the painting was positioned on the wall. That is all, because it is really good already!
Concluding Meow
Overall.
I feel like this short story is creative, more bright from your others, although I can sense foreshadowing about the real reason of Thorne’s mothers death. I don’t know yet...but I’m going to assume the dad is evil XD. I hope to read more from you in the future and can’t wait to hear more!!
Happy Writing, Happy Review Month, And Happy Reading!
Love,
CATS