*This story is underneath my folder titled “Claudia of the sea”. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs<33[2]”. Enjoy!*
There he was. Adonis himself, the blue-eyed, blond-haired nightmare, closing up his vial.
“Ah. A ghost, I see. What is your name?” Adonis asked.
“Alanna, and I’ll be the last sane thing you see before I take you to your punishment.” Alanna said.
“Punishment?! Whatever do you mean? I’m not going to be punished, I haven’t done anything wrong! All I do is help people.” Adonis laughed with a smile.
How can he laugh after he knows what he did? After he caused all of Caden’s suffering?
“I don’t know how many lives you tainted and I don’t care, because this ends now.” Alanna seethed.
Without further ado, Alanna dragged Adonis by the collar of his shirt to the outside, to his impending doom.
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,739 Reviews
Okay had to read this too before I pause reviewing for now.
Also that answers the question of what Alanna intents to do when she shows up at Adonis' place. But from the last story I reviewed, I got the feeling that Claudia is also responsible for Caden's suffering, so I'm starting to wonder if Alanna has the right guy here. Especially since he seems so insistent on being the one that helps people.
Also again, I'm curious about what limits ghosts have in your stories since it doesn't seem to be that much of a negative. If you can interact with the world just fine and you can cross entire oceans easily, I wonder how steep the downsides are (aside from the.... probably getting murdered to get there part...)
Good question!
*Most ppl are afraid of ghosts.
*These ghosts had bigger plans for themselves but cannot do them because they are dead.
*Adonis says he wants to help ppl, but his way of %u201Chelping%u201D is by cursing them. He made the potion that made Caden a monster. Claudia gave it to him.
*Alanna and Claudia were friends once. The relationship was kind of strained tho. They are not friends anymore. They don%u2019t speak to each other anymore.
I suppose I am still figuring out how to cohesively lay out a story. But! I like to think that I am getting there.
Thank you for reading. :>
Hi! its me again. I read some of the other parts, and I have to say that my biggest grip with this series is the chapter length. Some of the chapters are of a regular length (like part 1) but then the later parts will be incredibly short, to the point where you aren't even sure what is going on and it cuts up the pacing of the story. The plot itself is interesting, and the characters are fun, and its written in a very 'story around the campfire' way, which is entertaining, but really the chapter length takes me out of it. Claudia and the sea, where it is a bunch of chapters all together, is probably the best format you could use for this series. There is a little bit of unclarity about Adonis, it feels like Alanna finds him far to quickly, and I was also under the assumption that Alanna was dead, or a ghost? or maybe Adeline died and is now a ghost? maybe neither? the ending of Claudia and the sea seemed to imply that they both died. but they are both now interacting with physical objects, which (if they are ghosts, that doesn't mean they *Can't* interact with physical objects) its is just unclear.
-hope
I apologize if it%u2019s unclear, I intend to add more lore and edit this. But yes, they%u2019re all dead.
Caden is a bit more complicated, because he%u2019s not really a ghost, but a thirteen foot tall tentacle-human monster. If he were to ever become human again, he%u2019d be a ghost, because he%u2019s meant to be dead like the girls.
ah okay. Why do you... do the %u2019 thing
I don%u2019t. I type this on my phone and for some reason the site turns my apostrophe into that. It does not happen if I use a computer, though.
weird
Yeah.
This little bit leaves me wondering the rising action leading up to the climax yet to come of his impending doom. This seems like a steadfast, on your feet story. I love these mystery related genres. Keep writing, and id definitely love to read what I missed. Keep on it.
I%u2019m glad you enjoyed this, here are the other stories that connect to this:
Claudia of the sea
Alanna’s origin
Caden’s origin
What a strange love…
Alanna helps Caden [Part One]
Alanna helps Caden [Part Two]
No matter the circumstances, love will always prevail
Thanks a ton! I'm going to get started reading, and that is so true.
You%u2019re welcome!!
I just made part four:
Alanna helps Caden [Part Four]