*This story is underneath my folder titled “Claudia of the sea” and is the last part of my “Alanna helps Caden” series. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs<33[2]”. Adeline is a character in this story that prefers to be called by her middle name, Claudia, but Alanna chooses not to call her that. Caden does, though. Enjoy!*
“Ah, Caden. I see that you have grown quite well.” Adonis said with a smile.
Alanna had floated up the sea with Adonis, to the cave where Caden and Adeline resided. As always, Adeline was in a corner with her treasure, grinning at her finds.
But Caden recoiled away from Adonis, as though he were a rather repulsive bug.
“Alanna, how did you find him?” Caden asked.
“‘Twas’ easy, he lived in a magic workshop.” Alanna replied.
“You know, I helped you. You’re powerful, nothing can kill you. Shouldn’t you be more grateful?” Adonis asked as though he were scolding a child.
“You made me a thirteen foot tall tentacle monster. A thing that eats and kills, condemned to live in the darkness. I see no way that this helps.” Caden seethed.
Adonis only grinned, not at all perturbed.
“I imagine you’ll taste bitter, but it’s what you deserve.” Caden said.
“Whatever do you mean?” Adonis asked with a laugh.
The smile on Adonis’ face faded as Caden wrapped a tentacle around his body and dragged him to the water, in the same way Alanna and Adeline were.
Alanna beamed as she heard Adonis’ screams.
Her beloved Caden, sticking up for himself once more!
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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Hey creeper! I'm here to leave a quick review!
Whew, those are a lot of "A" names! I love the name Adonis. It's the name of a very wholesome character in one of the storybooks I'm in :3 I have a feeling this Adonis is a little less wholesome. He seems to have no empathy or feelings of regret for what he did to Caden.
Haha, I love this description. The word "away" is unnecessary here, methinks!
I would move that dialogue tag earlier, perhaps after "You know," since I wasn't sure who was saying this at first.
I love how in any other context, the second line would be perfectly wholesome and sweet. But here it's directed toward someone killing another xD
I enjoyed this little vignette! Seems Adonis had it coming for him.
Well done, as always!
Wolfi
Thx!
Alright, I think this is the final story of this folder still in the Green Room. Hia!
Thanks for the explanation in the AN!
Oh my, so he does in the end murder the person responsible for his misery. I’m surprised that they didn’t try to get him to reverse what he’s done.
So this is how Alanna did plan to help, I was wondering what she as a ghost could really do in the end…
I really like this: “I imagine you’ll taste bitter, but it’s what you deserve.” You go Caden! For once I’m not mad at someone eating another person. What has the world come too xd
it's come to chaos