z

Young Writers Society


12+ Violence Mature Content

Claudia of the sea

by vampricone6783


*This is the origin of a character from the tenth tale of my story “31 horrific Halloween tales”. Gacha Club character designs are on my wall. Enjoy!*

Introduction

Princess Adeline Claudia Josette loved the sea. She loved watching the waves roll back and forth, back and forth, back and forth…

She used to go out to the beach, away from her castle, with her friends, Alanna and Caden.

But lately, she had been craving more than mere sight of the sea…

She had been wanting to explore it.

Chapter One

Adeline lazily played with a lock of golden hair while she waited for her father to finish his speech to the people. The people that she could care less about. The people who always needed stuff, who always whined and complained and cried. Why, nothing would ever satisfy the-

“And now I allow Her Majesty to speak.” Her father said.

Adeline stared at all of the people, who were waiting for her word.

She sighed. Did they really have to hear her?

It appeared so.

Chapter Two

“I wish you all good health and prosperity and…all manner of lovely things.”

Adeline didn’t understand what she said. She just said whatever sounded pleasing.

Nobody seemed pleased. Everyone was staring at her disapprovingly.

It wasn’t that she didn’t like the spotlight, it was the fact that she had to always dress in frilly clothing and present a speech to the people. She’d like it much better if she were presented as an adventurer.

Adeline felt awkward just standing there, in front of everybody, so she calmly and slowly walked away, so she wouldn’t cause any more trouble.

Chapter Three

She knew that her family was mad with her. She knew that her mother would have an argument later.

Adeline also knew that she couldn’t hide in her room forever.

The salty smell of the ocean rolling back and forth tickled her nose. Her castle was right on the beach. All she had to do was jump out the window and just run to the ocean.

But what if she broke her legs? What if she died? Adeline didn’t want to die from-

“Adeline, dear, I just want to have a talk.”

Adeline stiffened. It was her mother.

She crawled to the window and creaked it open.

She’d rather die from jumping out a window than from extreme boredom any day of the week.

Chapter Four

Adeline bit her bottom lip to stop herself from screaming as she plummeted down. She had changed into trousers and a shirt, so that no one would recognize her. Hopefully she’d have a safe landing and wouldn’t break her legs-

“You should really be more careful.”

Adeline’s legs dangled in Alanna’s arms. Alanna had just so happened to be going on a little errand and had caught Adeline in her arms.

“What are you doing jumping out of windows anyway?”

“I just wanted to get out.”

“Don’t do that next time. You could die.”

“So? At least I’d be free.”

Alanna sighed, giving up on arguing. She put Adeline down and asked:

“Want to get Caden?”

“Sure.”

Chapter Five

Adeline made friends with Alanna and Caden when she was eight years old. She found them at her favorite beach, searching for seashells and the two of them had been friends ever since.

Right now, Alanna was taking Adeline to Caden’s house, which they would arrive to just about-

“Here we are!” Alanna exclaimed happily.

Chapter Six

The little cabin with the flowers at the windows seemed to welcome the both of them.

Caden’s house.

Adeline excitedly ran to the house, almost falling flat on her face. She couldn’t wait to see Caden and have fun with Alanna and him!

Chapter Seven

“What?” Caden asked. He heard Adeline almost falling down on the ground before stopping herself.

“Want to go to the beach?” Adeline asked.

“The beach? What if our parents catch us? How do you know-“

Adeline grew impatient and she grabbed Caden’s hand, pulling him to the beach before her family’s knights appeared, which would be very soon.

Alanna followed helplessly after them.

Why couldn’t Adeline just discuss things first?

Chapter Eight

Adeline smiled at the cool waves that lapped at her hands. She was sitting on her knees, touching the sand, letting the water trickle her hands.

In the distance, there were ships. Ships with fishermen. Ships with pirates. Ships with sailors. All were far off, free from the world. (Well, except for the fishermen. Their duty was to bring fish to the public.)

How wonderful it would be, to join them in their crusade!

“Adeline. They’re here.” Alanna whispered, but she didn’t need to, because just then, the royal trumpets blared.

Adeline had been found.

Chapter Nine

“Really, a young girl like you shouldn’t-“

“But I-“

“Silence!”

Adeline’s older sister, Marbella, was pulling her by her right arm. The Knights obediently trudged behind the both of them. Caden and Alanna had stood dumbfounded at the beach, watching Adeline being pulled like a child to her own home.

“I just wanted to-“

“You have responsibilities. Live up to them.”

“But I don’t like-“

“It’s not about liking them, it’s about doing them because they’re what you’re supposed to do. Now, don’t say a word.”

Adeline bit back her lip to stop words from spilling out. She had all kinds of foul things to say, but if she said them, Marbella could report it to their parents and then she would be severely punished…

Someday, she would be done with her life’s ridiculousness.

Someday…

Chapter Ten

Adeline knew that she shouldn’t be playing around with her fork, but she just didn’t feel like eating. What she really wanted to do was explore out at the sea, with her friends, and find the best things in the world.

She stared out the bay window, overlooking the beach. The pale moon gleamed back at the rolling and rippling blanket of ocean. It seemed like it would kiss the blue sea.

“Adeline, eat.” Her brother Malcolm whispered. He was the second oldest in the family and seemed to worry for her the most, from what she could see of his eyes whenever she talked of leaving.

She held her fork elegantly, like how Marbella and her mother were doing, and began to eat her food.

She would only do it because Malcolm said so. Because when he whispered, he seemed to be pleading with her to stay. He seemed to know exactly what she was thinking of…

Chapter Eleven

Adeline lay in bed, staring out the window.

She couldn’t wait any longer.

She had to leave at once.

She pushed the silk blankets off her bed and got to work packing her things.

She would leave silently and softly, so that not a soul would awaken.

Chapter Twelve

Adeline ran through the cobblestone streets, to Alanna’s house. Not a soul noticed that she left her castle and she intended to keep it that way.

But she didn’t want to leave alone. Alanna and Caden had to come with her. They had to find something out there together.

She stopped to catch her breath and when doing so, glanced at the rolling and rocking sea, reflected by the twinkling sky.

She could taste the salty sea air…

That was were she belonged. Far out, in the ocean.

With her friends, of course.

Adeline ran faster than she ever did before.

Chapter Thirteen

“Alanna! Alanna, come out!!”

Adeline tapped on Alanna’s bedroom window. She was holding on a rope hanging from the roof of the house. The rope was tied on the chimney, supposedly to “keep it upright” but a mere rope wouldn’t stop a chimney from crumbling. Really, Alanna’s father should know the basics of how structures work.

Adeline’s hands were growing weary of holding the rope. She was also freezing cold, in only her nightgown, thin socks, and black boots. Hopefully Alanna would open the window soon.

Adeline saw a candle being lit from the window, someone walking to the window, and…

“What is it?” Alanna asked. She had eye bags the color of bruises. Her long, brown hair was caught in tangles and knots. She yawned, but was careful enough to cover her mouth with her hand.

“Get Caden and meet me at the beach.”

“Adeline, I’m ti-“

“Do it. Now.”

“I-“

“Do it!”

Alanna scrambled to her closet, to get changed. Adeline jumped on the ground (thankfully she left her bag of things there for a soft landing) and ran across the street, to the beach.

She didn’t want to shout at Alanna. She didn’t want to disturb her.

But she couldn’t stay any longer.

She had to leave as quickly as possible.

Chapter Fourteen

“What’s going on?” Caden asked, rubbing his eyes. Alanna had gotten him to join Adeline at the beach, where she had a canoe and a bag of essentials packed.

“Just get in the canoe. We don’t have much time.”

“Get in? You want us to leave? You said you’d explain everything at the beach, now we’re here. Do you even know how to sail?”

“I never said I’d explain at the beach. Get in the canoe, now.”

“Adeline, give me five good reasons why.”

And right at that moment, Adeline grabbed Alanna and Caden by the back of their shirts and pulled them to the canoe. Both looked offended, but she didn’t care. The sun would rise and everyone would wake up.

They had to get moving.

Adeline sailed far into the ocean, while Alanna and Caden stared at her in complete horror, as if she were a stranger kidnapping them.

Neither knew how to swim.

Away they sailed.

Chapter Fifteen

Adeline had sailed to an island, where she and her friends could change into something more sensible in the trees.

She admired her new outfit, which was similar to that of a pirate’s. She wore a loose shirt and skirt. Underneath the skirt were a pair of trousers and boots. She wore gloves and a cloak. On top of her head was a faded blue feather hat she stole from Marbella, which looked so much better on her.

But what would Adeline call herself? She couldn’t do with a Princess name like Adeline. No, an adventurer would have a more gutsy sounding name, like…

Like Claudia! Ah yes, her middle name was perfect!

She would now be known as:

“Claudia of the sea.”

Chapter Sixteen

“Why are you doing this?” Alanna asked Claudia, who was rowing their boat. All three of them had gotten in the boat and were sailing away.

“I want to get out of here. I want to find adventure.”

“Do you even know where you’re going? How are you sailing this boat anyway?”

“I’ve been practicing. I was waiting for this day.” Claudia replied. Her eyes followed the direction of where the sun shone.

Caden chewed his fingernails, staring off into the distance. He wished not to contribute in their conversation.

Maybe he would wake up and find that this was all a nightmare…

Chapter Seventeen

“We’re here!” Claudia exclaimed, stopping their rowboat at a little seaside town.

“Here? Why are we here?”

“You can do whatever you want here. Just come back to this boat, I’ll need you.”

Claudia stepped out of the boat first. Alanna and Caden followed after her.

Chapter Eighteen

“Get back here, you wraith!” The merchant screeched at Claudia, who was holding an armful of expensive, exotic jewelry. She would have had this jewelry for free at the palace, but why not steal it instead? Made life more fun anyway.

She made it to the little rocking rowboat, where Alanna and Caden waited, holding onto one another, as if they were in love.

Claudia dumped the contents onto the boat and rowed far, far away, just like she did before.

Chapter Nineteen

She had been practicing rowing the boat for days. Now it had all paid off.

What would Malcolm think of her rowing away, leaving behind her family? What would he think of how she forced  her friends to join her on the endless journey?

There was no time to think of that now. That life was over. She was on a journey to find adventure of any kind.

Claudia’s eyes caught on a jar of thick black liquid. It was lying with the pile of sparkling jewelry. Maybe she stole it with the jewelry. She didn’t remember stealing it, but maybe she was caught up in the moment.

She stopped rowing the boat and picked up the jar.

“Caden, you’re the man of the boat. Drink this.” Claudia handed the jar to Caden, who was caressing Alanna.

“I’m not drinking that. It’s probably poison.”

“Or it could be medicine for us. Medicine would be useful, considering that we’re in the middle of the ocean.”

“You brought us here. This is your fault.”

“Oh come on, just drink it!”

“I’m not drinking it.”

She began to get angry at how he was defying her. Never before had he spoken to any girl like that, much less herself. He was always so docile, so obedient.

“Well!”

Alanna took herself away from Caden’s arms, staring up at her in disgust.

“If he doesn’t want to drink it, then he-ADELINE! STOP THAT!”

Claudia was shoving the drink down his throat, forcing his mouth open with one hand and pouring the drink with the other. Alanna tried pulling her away, but she kept her grip on him.

When she was finished, Caden’s face got very pale and sickly. He covered his hands with his mouth, as if to stop himself from vomiting, looking to Alanna for help, who only looked at him sadly.

Finally, he jumped out of the canoe and into the ocean.

Such a pity that neither one of them in the group could swim.

Chapter Twenty

“Where are we going, Adeline? Really, where are we going?”

“I told you not to call me that.”

“I’m losing my patience right now.”

Sparkling items lay in the rowboat with them. The only thing missing was Caden himself.

“It’s all about the journey-“

“Hush! We have been out at sea for days, eating and drinking rations, stopping nowhere. What are you going to do? Sail forever? We can’t do that!”

“Don’t you ever want to get away? Don’t you ever get bored with life? Don’t you-“

“Then you can do things to make it better.”

“So this is what I’m doing.”

“No. What you’re doing is hurting everybody around you.”

Alanna’s face took on a look of sympathy. She put her hand on Claudia’s right arm.

“Let’s go home.”

But Claudia wouldn’t be tricked. This was their destiny! There was more out there for the both of them! So what if Caden couldn’t handle the pressure? That was his fault.

“No. We’ve come this far. There’s something out there for us.”

Alanna took her hand off of Claudia’s arm. If Claudia found this place that was waiting for them, then she’d feel whole.

Claudia saw an enormous cave in the distance. She could see it from the light of the moon. Maybe they could stop there for the night.

She rowed the boat all the way to the cave.

………………………………………………….

“Try and get some sleep.” Claudia said to Alanna, who held her legs to chest in the coldness of the cave. She wanted Alanna to at least have a good rest, before they continued on their journey of discovery.

The water rippled a little bit. Probably some fish.

The currents wouldn’t stop moving, though. It was as if something was just waiting to come out.

Claudia studied the movements carefully. So did Alanna. They had to be careful. Anything could be in the sea. Any monsters could be waiting for them down below.

The waves splashed all over them as something very tall, as tall as the Josette palace, rose from the murky, endless water.

“Caden?” Alanna asked, soaking wet.

From behind the locks of her blond hair, which she cut into a bob some time ago while they were sailing, Claudia could see Caden as an incredible, wonderfully strong sea creature.

He had long black hair that went past his shoulders, sharp, alien green eyes, and thick, black tentacles that rested on the rocks around.

“Are you…half…kraken?” Alanna asked, amazed at the sight. Claudia could only stare back at him in shock. She never thought she’d see him like this.

“What? No! That drink made me like this!”

Caden turned to Claudia, brows furrowing.

“You made me like this. You wanted to have your precious adventure. Because of you, I’m trapped like this.”

“I’m sorry. I know, it’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have been so reckless. I’m sorry. Really, I am.”

Claudia apologized to Caden as she backed away. She didn’t want to risk angering him or anything. Who knew what he could do now?

He placed his tentacles around both of the girls who were beginning to run away.

“You’re not leaving.”

“What do you mean? Why?” Alanna asked, trying to break out of his tentacle, but he only held tighter.

“Claudia, you’re going to pay for what you did. For all the ridiculousness you made us put up with.”

“Alanna.”

His voice seemed to soften at her name, which only annoyed Claudia. What made them fall in love with each other all of a sudden? Was it from their mutual disagreement over the events happening to them? The fact that Alanna always seemed to take care of him? What? Really, it was infuriating!

“Alanna, my love for you has only grown on this adventure. Unfortunately we cannot quite be together like we originally planned. So I’ll have to kill you if you want us to be together.”

“Caden, I love you, but this is…this is insanity! Let us go. I know what happened to you wasn’t fair, but please. Do it for me.”

He didn’t let go.

“What are you doing? Aren’t you going to let us go?” Alanna asked, voice getting high and nervous. Claudia kept her mouth shut. Real pirates weren’t afraid of anything and this was what she wanted to be.

A pirate who went on voyages and fought enemies and had all the money in the world.

It all became clear for her now. She was supposed to go on this self discovery journey by herself. Not with her friends. On her own.

She was meant to go out into sea, but without them.

They were all in trouble because of her.

Maybe she should have been the monster in the cave, taking away those unworthy, not having to deal with a single human soul.

Not nail-biting, worrisome Caden. Not the boy who still had some shreds of kindness left in him.

Not Caden.

“No, Alanna. I’m not letting any of you go. I’m going to eat the both of you. Try not to move so much, it will hurt less. I’ll be sure to put your skull at the entrance of the cave, so that all may see. You and I will be together forever.”

“That’s not how love works.” Alanna whispered. She was dying, she was getting weak.

“That’s how our love works.”  Caden said with a smile.

And with that, he pulled both screaming, anguished girls into the water.

Epilogue

If one ventured out into the beach, they would find a lonely teen girl, wearing a pale purple dress in the moonlight, walking barefoot on the sand.

And if one went close to her, she would tell the story of a pirate who went on a harrowing journey to discover herself, only to find joy and happiness waiting for her at the end of the road.

And she would take this individual’s hand. She would swim in the water, still holding onto the hand of the individual. She would seem to glide.

The girl would stop at a cave, where a single human skull waited at the entrance. Another girl dressed like a pirate would be guarding piles and piles of jewelry inside the cave. If one followed the purple dress girl into the cave, there would be a thirteen foot tall sea monster waiting to eat or drown them.

At least, those were the stories told to explain the disappearances in Lynette Beach…


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229 Reviews


Points: 9163
Reviews: 229

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Tue Jun 13, 2023 7:33 pm
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foxmaster wrote a review...



Hey Foxmaster here!
Well, then So I feel like this was a really interesting story. I really enjoyed it but I don't think I liked the main character Claudia very much, I mean, she sounds kind of evil, like she kidnaps her friends and then turns one into Kraken and then turns into a ghost and makes sure more people die? Uh, kinda rude. (NO offense I hope) This was a great break from your stories about Clowns and stuff and I enjoyed the whole mentions of the sea and stuff. I also didn't really like how Claudia ran away, I mean I get it, but it was kind of a bad idea if you get what I mean. That's basically all. I feel like you should work on making your main person a lot more likeable, because a lot of your characters are likeable but just not really this one, in my opinion at least. I hope you write more stories about the ocean and stuff and I enjoyed Claudia's backstory at the place and stuff, that was really interesting. I just feel like the Kraken thing made her sound really bad. I hope this isn't offensive.
-Foxmaster!!!
-PS: also Mrs. Fowell's School of Witchcraft and Mayhem s1, ep4 is out! It rrrrreally needs reviews! :)






Thank you for reviewing! I intentionally made Claudia unlikeable, in case you were wondering.



foxmaster says...


Oh wow was not editing that.%uD83D%uDE0A



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Points: 25
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Tue Jun 13, 2023 7:49 am
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NoElixar wrote a review...



Hi hi! Just a few things I noticed while reading your lovely story!

"She used to go out to the beach her castle had with her friends, Alanna and Caden."
This sentence doesn't really roll well. Try adding away or towards between the beach and the castle: she used to go out to the beach, away from her castle, with her friends. Or something like that. It reads a lot easier.

"pulling him to the beach before her family’s knights would appear, which would be very soon."
I struggled a bit with the word 'would' being repeated while reading. Maybe try to use a different verb form for 'would appear'.

In chapter 9 you write "Adeline bit back her lip". The expression you were looking for is 'biting back your tongue'. I love that you used it here though! It fit really well.

"She stared out the bay window, overlooking the beach. Her family had a bay window overlooking the ocean."
The second sentence is a bit repetitive and unnecessary. The readers know that she is in the castle, so by mentioning that she is staring out the bay window, you are already informing us that her family had a bay window.


One last thing, some of the chapters could have easily been a bit longer and others could have easily been divided into two separate chapters. Maybe take a look at this, since it makes it easier for the reader to read.

Overall, I really love the way you wrote the characters and the epilogue is epic!






Thank you for reading! I edited this.




So, please, oh please, we beg, we pray, go throw your TV set away, and in its place you can install a lovely bookcase on the wall.
— Roald Dahl