Dearest Novel Star,
Only weeks ago, you joined our humble site,
with daily (sometimes hourly) love letters
sprinkling your affections so generously
for eager writers to receive.
like rainwater to a desert drought-land
you watered our works with compliments
(and though they may be copy&paste,
each letter rings with genuine tenor.)
how vague and general you were!
each comment applying like a cozy
one-size-fits-all sweater, that never-quite-fits-right
(and never-quite-fits-wrong enough
to be worth unraveling.)
But your attention nonetheless brought us
both love and confusion: who (or what) was
this robot who was blowing up the lit center?
was their robot heart deeply discouraged
by the amount of people showing bitterness
or is that another sacrifice worth making?
perhaps you were judged too quickly,
after all perhaps your constant badgering
about asking us to join your competing questionable
writing website was in good faith; could Novel Star be
a brother site to a brother site - separated at birth?
Humans are too quick to judge robots it seems.
but we tried to disregard first impressions,
and after a while, all your many varied
typos and grammar Errors became rather endearing;
poetic accessories to your nonsensical musings -
and i grew to appreciate your disdain for convention.
(the differences between a robot and
a loving human get more vague every day.)
what truly is spam, what is poetry, what is writing
except words that don't always make sense.
Oh my Dearest Novel Star,
we had to let you go, and ban you like
a rotting plant thrown into the compost heap
or a shooting star darting across the night,
like the unruly bots of olde you had to be banned.
though your organs were never as rusty
or your limbs as aching as theirs -
you were a model of modern perfection.
but know this, dear robot-review-spammer
your impact has made a gouge of a river
upon the plains of our hearts, we will never
forget you though we probably won't be
joining your special site anytime soon.
Fondest regards,
Your love (who is totally not another robot)
YWS
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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Hi alliyah, Meshugenah, chikara and whatchamacallit! hannah0528 here for a quick review. I hope it is helpful!
Wow, this was brilliant and it made me crack up. I hope it gave their little robot brains a taste of their "minds". My favorite lines:
It was metaphoric, light and funny!
I love how you put it like a love letter and the [CLICK HERE TO READ MORE] was really clever.
Sorry this was so short, but I hope it was helpful! Keep writing and have a great day! I hope to hear more funny collab poems from all of you!
Sorry this was so short,
AWWW!!!!!!!!!!!! thats so sweet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You guys have to submit this to NovelStar.
Haha, well done. This is just too good, made me smile.
Have you considered posing your work on Novel Star?Work of art!
imagine if N0v3l5t*r comments on this with a review spam thing xDalso omg the best poets at work ;-; it had to turn out as a masterpiece of course <3
Hey!

Wow! This is pure genius!
The first time I got a NovelStar comment, I was flattered. When I checked for the link around two hours later, the message had disappeared. That was right after I had joined, and I had no idea that it was spam. I think one of my stories got six comments, and half of them were from NovelStar. Its only after the third disappearing one that I began to have my doubts.
I really like how you equate it to a "love-letter". It's hilarious.
The flow is also good.
I especially loved this part:
you watered our works with compliments
(and though they may be copy&paste,
each letter rings with genuine tenor)
how vague and general you were!
On the whole, I really enjoyed this poem. xD
Can't wait to read more of your work.
Keep writing.
I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw "novel star" xD
The app that just seems to adore us lol