Two Sonnets

Hello, hello!

Whatcha here for a review, brought to you by Summer!

Okay, I was really drawn to 'The Wind', so that's what I'll be reviewing

The first thing I noticed (after I read it through the first time for enjoyment) was the rhyming scheme.
It's obvious stanza 1 goes,
abbaabba
which is fine with me.
The stanza 2 also has a rhyming pattern -
abc,abc
Personally I feel a poem should keep the rhyming throughout, but that's up to you.

I didn't find any grammatical mistakes, but I would like to mention capitalization at the beginning of each line.
Would it look normal If all my sentences where Like this? I mean, with every line Starting with capitalization, Think about it! It looks strange When you put it into An actual sentence!
So I always make the rule; after a period, as per usual. You capitalize it. Otherwise, unless a word is very Important, don't.
If it's a style thing, though, I would mention it so people don't add it in their reviews (sometimes I do poems with no capitalization and I add it as an A/N so people don't correct it)

Okay, with all the boring stuff done and over with, onto the fun part - the wording/content!

The first part of the first stanza, I would change a thing! As for the last part...

But in the warmth of spring, I'll heat the sand <-- I don't think the wind heats the sand ... does it? Perhaps it ruffles it?
Beneath your roots. The summer's scorching hand <-- I would personally say 'the sun's scorching hand', but that's up to you
Will melt the stony cold with graceful ease.”

Stanza 2:

Again, love the first part!

...I'll give to you <-- I feel sort of like this is a new thought, so it should start a new line.
Sweet music with your golden leaves I seize. <-- that struck a chord - fall is my favourite season (though I'm part of team summer ) and this is a reason I love it!
Their dance is short, but with their gray burnt ash
I'll swirl the air till winter takes its cue.” <-- this sounds forced to me, but it may just be me./b]

All in all, I loved this poem. You used lots of descriptors which I generally suck at doing ... I'm also gonna say I loved the length - I just finished reviewing a really long piece, so this is nice and short in comparison

~whatcha
Brought to you also by [b]Summer!

Hey there! MJ stopping by for another (pitiful attempt at a) review

How can a fear infest a timid mind?

Since you referred to fear as more of a general emotion rather than a specific phobia of something, I would say just 'fear' for the sake of consistency.

To tattered, scattered thoughts lost in fear's fray.

When I looked up the definition of 'fray', it came up as a verb and not a noun as you used it here. It's possible I'm missing something here, so if you could just clear that up, I would appreciate it. If I'm correct and it's not a word, then I would take it out.

Their dance is short, but with their gray burnt ash

Smaller nitpick here, but I would put a dash in between gray and burnt for grammar purposes.

So I don't have much to critique here since these were very wonderful poems, but I'll just give my thoughts on what I thought about them and how they made me feel.

As an introvert, I can really identify with the first one. I thought you personified fear and isolation very well, and my favorite line was "this fear critiques... A shattered soul whose fear has laid it bare". This was a great way to describe how those with anxiety and even those who don't have anxiety can judge themselves and critique them. My one critique would be "Anxiety does not care for the weak" since that doesn't really fit with the overall theme of the poem, but again, I'm not a great reviewer of poetry and I try and just offer my thoughts, so don't feel obligated to make any changes.

As far as the second poem, personally I didn't like the style as much. That's obviously only personal feelings, and you still did a beautiful job with description and personification, but the flow of the stanzas wasn't my style and it didn't hit as hard as your first one. My critique for this poem would be the very last line, "I'll swirl the air till winter takes its cue." For whatever reason, I just didn't really feel that 'cue' was the best word there. I understand you needed something that rhymes with 'you', but maybe 'till winter begins anew" or something would fit better. Just a thought, and again, it was purely a stylistic reason that I didn't enjoy this poem as much as I enjoyed the first one.

Overall, I can see a lot of potential in you as a poet, and want to encourage you to keep writing and experimenting with different styles. These were some of the better poems I've seen around YWS, so keep up the great work, and don't hesitate to contact me if you have any questions. Thanks for sharing!

Best wishes,
MJ