The Mission of Life

Hey!! just found this... I love this!! The rythm is just a bit off, but I love the theme. Why didn't I know about this one?? Great use of words, and like Johannah said, it's very "mature" Sometimes it does read a bit awkwardly, and you have to re-read a line or two to understand. But that's ok!! I love your theme more than anything else...Great job!!

This was a lovely poem Anna! I really like your 'mature' (to quote Miss Alicia) word choice and phrasing. It kind of brings me back to a time in my life where I really needed someone to remind me of the truth as presented in the last 4 line of your poem. Hope to read more of your stuff soon!

Heya!

So, overall I loved it and the ending was the one you didn't kind of expect which is a good thing, making a poem on Jesus, it sure does show how much you like him. The way you've described your emotions and experiences is wonderful. I loved the way you have it around words and you have good vocabulary too! ^^

The poem definitely shows not to give up on anything because wherever you go, God'll always be there, you just need to hold on tight. I enjoyed reading it and gave a good message too.

Keep Writing!

--
Hearts

Nice job to you. I loved the vocabulary you used. The tone of the poem seemed to be partially sad but more hopeful toward the end. I enjoyed how much faith the poem put in hope. The message I received from this was that when you've given up to depression remember that there is hope left in the world. From your last stanza I can gather that you are a follower of the Cristian faith. Totally respectable. I'm agnostic myself.

Hello ajruby12! Guess who's here to review "The Mission of Life"! Thats right PumpkinCat is! I have to say I'm not really the "religious" type but you did have a great amount of faith in this work of art. Okay now to the review! I have to say the flow of the poem there was something off and I can't tell what it was. I would try reading it over a couple times out loud and it didn't sound right (or maybe it didn't sound right because I have a fat lip at the moment T_T). STANZAS! Stanzas help everyone with the flow of their poems and it gives a sense of breathing room, I would try to incorporate them into your poem.

Great Poem ajruby12!
8/10!
-P.C!

Hey, Runawaylove here to review your poem!

Okay, you have a very thoughtful and motivational poem here. The idea is very good but the poem could be better. First of all, the editing in the first line of the poem is distracting. Try to make it like the rest of the poem. Personally I like poems that rhyme but this one has a good flow so it does not matter much. Then again you did use some rhyming in places.

"When the light fades in the night."

This line seems a little out of place to me. Maybe you can rephrase it to "When the light fades into the night."

I think could use a little more imagery and description in this poem. Like more details on the hopelessness you feel and what gives you hope in those dark times and how you emerge. This poem has a wonderful theme. Only if you worked on these little details this could turn into a masterpiece. Hope this was helpful.

I think you did a terrific job.I can tell that you really put your heart into this poem.I think you should really be proud of this. c:

Hi ajruby12,here is Dark to give review on your poem.

Overall I am very satisfied and enjoy with your poem.A mission of life is something special here.You use your own words to describe what is the mission of your life;
# When I can't suppress a frown

And have no choice but to abort

The mission I was born to fulfill,

Your diction is very good and exciting.And I like how you use literature style to make your poem more interesting to read.Your poem expresses a thousand reality of our lives as human beings. You made ​​it clear how difficult it is to fulfill the mission. But in the end, it was a real relief when God came to help us.

# I can still live without that frown,
Since there's no one more powerful
Than the one who walks beside us.
Our wonderful Savior, Jesus!
Anyway,you still need a new fresh ideas here to make your poem look different with 'the song of praise'.Something that will impress the reader then touch their heart.
Keep it up here.I enjoyed reading your poem here,anyway.
Kudos,cheers
~Dark