Valentine's Day Love Poem (Help me make it better!)

Hey @ZeldalsSheik. I loved your poem. It was a unique way to use mathematical terms to describe love and emotions. It will especially be loved by those who are themselves maths geek. Your use of imagery is really appreciable.
My favourite part was the line where you used parabola .

I think you did a small mistake in one of the lines by repeating 'are' twice !
'Its words are 'are' the midpoint'
I liked how you converged your lines at the end into the word 'love' .
Overall , I enjoyed your writing style.
All the best for future.

First of all I am loving the shape of this poem. It looks like those things that determine how loud or quiet your music is. Second of all, I think he was trying to tell the reader that this was an assignment you had to do in class, so I'm the first sentence above the poem maybe you should make that in bolded words, or maybe make those words colorful.

Though that's how the feedback I can be giving you for now, because your poem is so beautifully written.

There is a word that used to describe those kinds of poems...

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious..
It means super super amazing and awesome, great job.

I think the end is quite a bit generic and cliche. "we believe in our heart we love our heart" just doesn't say much to me.

However I do like that you're taking the perspective of like math imagery into a poetic explanation of love - that's fascinating! Especially the idea of a parabola - that alone is an interesting image to settle on. I would love to see this poem arranged more mathematically - maybe in a heart or a parabola even - just to sell the math theme a bit more. Since the strength is definitely the unique math parts - I would try to start and end on those - and put any generic commentary in the middle.

You'll find for love poems, almost everything "vague" has already been said, so much so that the generic terms to express love, no longer express anything at all - the best way to defeat the "cliche love poem" issue though is to be specific in your imagery, conflict, and voice that you express - you can check out this article on specificity from the Knowledge Base for more information on how to use specificity in writing. But really adding those personal elements helps the poem connect to the reader and realize that the poem isn't about the vague "idea of love" but about a specific emotion and scenario.

Good luck in your writing! Let me know if you had any questions about my review, I'd be happy to answer them.

alliyah

This is pretty good! <3
Happy early valentines day!

Dear ZeldaIsSheik,

I don't know why you are unhappy with it, I think it sounds amazing! I love the line:

That my heart may open like a parabola

containing everything and nothing